I Still Love You
by Leiria
Summary: It's been four years since the end of the war and Hermione still has nightmares about her time in the Death Eaters' care. She left him because she couldn't give him what he wanted. All he wants is her. AR H/Hr M for content.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or anything related to it.**

**AN: So welcome to a protest to the epilogue! lol I love Jo's work, but I just can't get behind those cannon pairings. Sorry! Annnnnyway, what we have here is a Harry/Hermione luuuuv story (awwww) that takes place four years after the way. A little history for the fic: When Ron abandoned Harry and Hermione, the two of them kinda got together and had lots of fun in that tent all by themselves (wink wink). Hermione was captured by Death Eaters a couple of weeks after their visit to Godric's Hollow (btw, in this fic, Ron was gone a lot longer than he was in the books). Harry rescued her after running into two of my favorite Death Eaters (Go ahead, guess who!) and took the battered and beaten Hermione to St. Mungo's where she got all patched up and they went back on the road lookin' for dem horcuxes. Ron joins up with them the same way he did in the books and almost left again after finding out that Harry and Hermione were together. Hermione, dealing with secrets she can't share with Harry, leaves him a few months after the war ends. From Ron's arrival to that final battle is all the same with the clear exception of the H/Hr ship. Post-war, everyone's moved on with their lives but Hermione's pretty much faded out of everyone's lives. With the exception of Harry whom she calls every Wednesday at two o'clock in the afternoon-something the rest of the Aurors love listening in on because they don't know who's on the other end of the phone. ^_- Harry's been dating Ginny for a year and there's trouble in paradise. Hermione's dating Blaise Zabinni, or at least she _thinks_ she is, and she's living with Hogwarts grad Anita (3 yrs older and a Ravenclaw). Alrighty, now that I've taken up more time than I had originally intended to, I'm going to let you read the fic. Keep in mind, it's rated M for a reason (example: chapter 2's kinda smutty). Also: Don't kill me but Harry's smoking (he'll quit I PROMISE) and Hermione will OCCASIONALLY join him. (Anita's a chain smoker so she's kinda used to it.) Anyway, R&R! ^_^ You know how we LOVE reviews.**

**I Still Love You**

Hermione sighed as she stared out through the window. The rain had been relentless for days without the slightest break in the storm. In recent weeks it had been off and on, more on than off, but for the last four days looked like one big puddle. She thought it fitting that the weather reflected her mood. Fitting that his plans were ruined for the weekend while hers had been utterly destroyed for life.

A slam shook Hermione's attention and made her jump."Give it a _rest_, Oliver!" a woman shouted. "I don't care what you want! This is _my_ life! _My _choice!"

Hermione stared in shock at the woman walking towards the window, a cell phone clutched in her hand. Her green eyes were almost red with her obvious anger and her red hair was soaked from the weather outside. She shrugged out of her coat and flung it over the back of the sofa as she approached Hermione.

She stopped suddenly. "Don't call me a whore!" she screamed. "NO!" Hermione jumped again. "I did _not_ sleep with him! If you can't believe me you can just go to hell!" she shouted before she ended the call by throwing the small electronic device against the wall. It shattered on impact, losing its fight with the wall, which made the other woman swear loudly. She drew a long slender stick from her back pocket (a place Hermione knew as dangerous from a teacher at Hogwarts) and pointed it at the remains of the phone. "_Reparo!_" she shouted. The phone knitted itself back together seamlessly.

The redhead sighed as she plopped down into a chair across the window from Hermione. "Hi!" she said forcibly happy and with a false wide smile.

"Problems with Oliver?" Hermione asked.

The redhead let out a dramatically exasperated sigh. "Like you would not believe!" she cried. "You know how we went away last weekend?" she asked. Hermione dutifully nodded. "We were together the whole time," she said. "Except for fifteen minutes when he wanted to go play ping-pong, or something like that, and I went into the gift shop. I ran into a friend from Hogwarts there and chatted with him. Now Oliver is accusing me of sleeping with him when all we did was step outside for a smoke! Can you believe the nerve of him?" she demanded.

"Anita, you do have to admit that he _does_ have just cause. You _have_ cheated on him in the past."

"Not with _men!_" Anita cried. "And not for two months!"

"You two have only been together for three!" Hermione cried before laughing.

"Oh. Right," Anita said with a laugh."So it's...more than half of the relationship, big deal! It wasn't supposed to be anything more than a one-night stand _anyway_. Besides," she said, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it. "This time I'm innocent."

Hermione smiled, amused by her friend's behavior. "You are _never_ innocent," she said. "You've done something worthy of an accusation. You did steal from the gift shop after all."

Anita waved that off. "Muggle shops," she said. "It's not like they can catch me. How's your day been anyway?" she asked. "I hear Potter's being promoted again."

"That has nothing to do with my day and everything to do with you wanting to shag him," Hermione said with a smile.

"Can't blame a girl for trying," Anita muttered. "Say, you've been in the sack with him, haven't you?" she asked. "How is he?"

Hermione laughed. "That was four years ago," she said. "You've seen the fruit of that labor."

"Just because I've seen the scars doesn't mean I know the whole story," Anita protested. "I mean, gods, you two traveled the whole island together. You were _alone _for months at a time, both _technically _single... Come on," she pleaded. "Tell me!"

Hermione sighed. "Harry's amazing," she said softly, her eyes darkening with her memories. "Always has been, always will be. But that was a long time ago."

"Not that long by the look on your face," Anita said, her expression suddenly sober. She inhaled deeply from her cigarette and flicked the ashes into the nearby tray.

Hermione shook her head. "Harry's happy now," she said. "He and Ginny are moving in with each other next month. Officially anyway. She's practically been living with him for the past six months anyway. Besides, I'm with Blaise."

Anita sighed and shook her head. "First of all: Gryffindors and Slytherins aren't supposed to be bed-partners. Secondly: You are _far _from happy. Third: You and Blaise haven't spoken for three weeks. Move on. And last: Call the man!" she cried. "When was the last time you and Boy Wonder actually sat down and had a full conversation without other people in the room? If nothing else, tell him about what happened to you. He rescued you from the Death Eaters. He should know."

Hermione sighed heavily and glanced at the clock. "It's late," she said, even if it was only eight in the evening. "I'm going to bed. I'm glad you got home safely."

"Night, hon," Anita replied, snuffing out her cigarette in the ashtray. "See you in the morning."

"Not like you'll be up," Hermione called back from the hallway leading into her bedroom.

* * *

_It was so dark, she couldn't see anything. She was numb with the cold and the blankets were threadbare. They had clothed her in rags to take away her identity. The only thing that kept her sane was the knowledge that _he_ was always with her, now that his child was in her womb. He didn't know because she had figured it out a day before her capture._

_ One of them walked in. Behind the masks they all looked the same to her. Some of them she knew regardless. Some were impossible to mistake._

_ Laughing, the Death Eater walked up to Hermione with a silver dagger in her hand. She roughly pulled Hermione to her feet and thrust the dagger into Hermione's stomach, killing the unborn child and destroying Hermione's hope of ever having another._

* * *

Hermione woke, gasping, sitting bolt-upright with racing heart and sweat-drenched body. Her hands immediately went for her stomach, lifting her shirt up to make sure there was no blood. There was never any blood. Only the scar. Bellatrix's final gift.

Shaking, Hermione swung her legs over the side of her bed and ran her hands through her curly hair a few times before she made her way to the kitchen for a glass of ice-cold water.

Hermione glanced at the clock. It was nearly one in the morning. She sighed, knowing she shouldn't and that he wouldn't care. She put down her water and took the cordless from the cradle and punched in Harry's number as a tear began to fall. She brushed it away as she brought the phone up to her ear.

It rang once...twice...three times before Hermione was ready to hang up. Just as the fourth ring started, it was cut off.

"Hello?" asked a very groggy man.

"Harry?" Hermione asked.

"Hermione?" Harry asked. "What's wrong? Are you hurt?"

Hermione took in a shuddering breath. "I need to talk," she said softly. "Can you? Is this a bad- of course it's a bad time, it's one in the morning. Harry, I'm sorry, go back to bed."

"No, Hermione, I'm up. And now I'm worried so you have to talk to me anyway. Just give me a second to get the cordless so I can hang this phone up, okay? And if you hang up, I will call you four times. If you don't answer, I'm coming over, got it?" he asked.

Hermione smiled. Harry always looked out for her. "Got it," she promised.

"Good. Hold on, let me get the other phone."

Hermione nodded even though he couldn't see her and moved to sit on the sofa where Anita's rain-soaked coat was still draped. Though the apartment was dark, it was that quality of dark that one could still see in, albeit mostly shapes and shades of gray, but there was enough light to navigate by.

Hermione had just sat down when Harry came back on. "Hey, still there?" he asked.

"Yes," Hermione dutifully replied.

She could almost hear him smile. "Good," he said. "Now tell me what's wrong."

Hermione sighed heavily. "I had that dream again," she said. "About when I was captured. Every time I have that dream, I can _feel_ Bellatrix shoving the dagger into my stomach..."

There was silence for a few seconds. "You never told me she was the one who stabbed you," Harry said softly.

"I never told you why either," Hermione nearly whispered as she brushed away fresh tears.

"There was a reason?" Harry asked.

Hermione sighed. "She was ordered to by Voldemort," she said. "He _discovered _something he didn't like and wanted me punished for it."

"Do you know what that was?" Harry asked, genuinely concerned. This was the most Hermione had spoken to him about her time in the Death Eaters' cells.

"I was pregnant, Harry," Hermione said softly. "It was yours."

There was the sound of a crash on Harry's end of things. After a few unintelligible curses and mutterings, Harry was back on the phone. "Sorry," he said. "I tripped over the coffee table. Can you run that by me again?" he asked.

"You heard me the first time, Harry," Hermione replied.

Harry swore. "Why did it take you four years to tell me?" he asked. "Is this why you decided it would be better if we didn't stay together after I got you out of there?" he demanded. "Merlin, Hermione!" he cried. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I was scared, Harry," Hermione said thickly, choking on her tears.

"Oh, Hermione, don't cry, please don't... Fuck, I'm an idiot," Harry hissed. "I'm sorry..."

"No, you're right," Hermione nearly whispered. "I found out the day before they took me, which was probably how they were able to do it. After what happened, I just couldn't bare to face you, Harry. So I ran away from it all."

"So I would have been a father if Voldemort hadn't stepped in..." Harry said softly. "Merlin, first my parents, then Sirius, Snape, Remus and Tonks...then my own kid. More than all of them, he took you from me."

"I'm still alive, Harry," Hermione said.

"Alive, yes, but how often do we talk?" he asked. "I mean really talk. When was the last time we saw each other? We talk once every week for fifteen minutes, maybe twenty. We've gotten together with the rest of the group five times in the last eight months and none of that time was spent with just you and I alone. You're as gone as anyone else, Hermione, and if it wasn't for Voldemort, would it be you in my bed right now or would it still be Ginny?" he asked. "I have to tell you, Hermione, I don't think it would be Gin."

Hermione softly sighed. "It's better this way," she said, nodding to herself. It was something she'd spent years convincing herself to believe. "At least you're happy."

Harry let out a bitter laugh. "Right. Happy. Because I adore working my ass into the ground five days a week and coming home to pressure from Ginny and the rest of the family to get married. Because I'm happy to come home after a rough day at the office or out on the field and have to explain to the girlfriend who is supposed to be understanding and compassionate why I'm too damn sore to do anything but sleep and how that's _not _a euphemism for sex. And, of course, because the best part of my day is convincing myself that you're not coming back and she's all I'm going ever to get unless I want someone else from my personal fan club."

"Harry..." Hermione said helplessly.

"I want to be done fighting, Hermione," Harry said, sounding at least a decade older than he had a moment ago. "I'm tired of fighting rouge Death Eaters, friends, coworkers, family, Ginny...you..." He sighed. "Most of all, I'm really fucking tired of fighting myself."

"I can't give you any answers, Harry," Hermione said. "I can't give you a family either. Bellatrix made sure of that."

"You can have other children, Hermione."

"No, I can't, Harry," Hermione whispered. "She destroyed my ability to have kids. I am _never _going to be a mother because of what she did. And you want kids so badly, Harry...you should be happy with Ginny."

"I'd rather be happy with you," Harry whispered. "Ginny's great, she really is, but I can't talk to her like I can you. She doesn't fit like you, you were perfect. Having kids is _not_ a big deal, Hermione, being with the person I want to marry is."

"What?" Hermione whispered, her heart thundering in her chest. "Marry?" she asked.

"The day you decided to leave me was the day I was going to ask you to marry me."

Hermione held her head in her free hand, clenching her eyes shut to fight the tears. "Merlin, Harry, I'm so sorry..."

Harry sighed. "Me too," he said after a moment of unsure silence. "God, I wish Ginny would have gone home. This would be easier if I wasn't afraid of waking her up, you- Yes?" he asked, taking his mouth away from the phone. Hermione patiently waited for him to return. She could hear his responses and Ginny's voice in the background.

Hermione suddenly felt guilty. Ginny had always been second best in Harry's mind. Though Hermione had tried to convince the redhead otherwise, she eventually stopped because it became too obvious that Ginny was right.

Now Hermione was back and Ginny was being shoved aside once more.

"God, Ginny, then just go!" Harry shouted.

"Why don't you want to marry me, Harry?" Hermione heard Ginny clearly demanded. "Don't you love me?"

"Honestly?" Harry demanded. "You're a great friend, Ginny, when you're not pushing me to marry you and I swear to God if that question comes out of your mouth again, we're done. I'm not going to marry you, Ginny. You've been pushing for it for a year and I'm sick of trying to come up with one excuse after another. You have so many goddamn doubts about me so leave!"

"So you're going to light up one of your fucking cigarettes again like you do every time we fight?" Ginny demanded. Hermione's eyebrows knit together in confusion. When did Harry start smoking?

"Yes!" Harry shouted. "It's the only way to get you to leave me alone!"

Hermione took the phone away from her ear. She could not listen to them break up without believing that it was entirely her fault. She could still hear them arguing with the phone in her lap and debated hanging it up. If she hadn't called, they would be sleeping still.

Hermione sighed and brought the phone back up to her ear in time to hear something slam. Harry swore loudly. "Hermione, are you still there?" he asked.

"Barely," Hermione softly replied. "Was that my fault?" _Please tell me that wasn't my fault,_ she silently prayed.

Harry bitterly chuckled. "No," he said. "We've had that fight more than a dozen times. This may have just been the last time. I don't know how much you heard."

Hermione sighed. "More than I wanted to," she answered.

Harry exhaled heavily and Hermione wondered if it was from smoking. He let out a frustrated sound before she heard him doing something on his end that made a lot of noise. "I'm going to hear about it this first thing in the morning," he said. "Ginny will go home, tell them that I'm an asshole, and then Ron and Charley will come over and scream at me for two hours."

Hermione sighed. "Do you want me to come over?" she asked. "To talk?"

Harry chuckled. "Yeah," he said. "That'd be great."

Hermione nodded, even though Harry couldn't see it. "I'll be there in about ten minutes."

"I'll be waiting," Harry promised.

**AN: Don't forget to review! ^_^**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Made a mistake in the previous chapter's AN. This isn't the smutty chapter. That's the next one. For anyone who doesn't want to read the actual chapter, if there are any of you out there, if there's anything important I'll put it at the bottom so scroll down and read that before continuing on with the story, kay? ^_^**

Twenty minutes later, Harry and Hermione sat at his kitchen table with coffee.

"How long was she pushing you to marry her?" Hermione asked.

"A year," Harry replied. "She started hinting at it about two months after we got back together but I wasn't listening. Finally, I agreed to let her move in because she wouldn't let up. I figured she was the best there was after you walked away. I never really got over that."

"But she can give you what I can't," Hermione whispered, staring at her coffee because it was better than his amazingly green eyes.

Harry's hand was suddenly on hers. "That's not what's important here, Hermione," he said. "There are always alternatives. And you can give me something _she_ can't. Something more important: True happiness."

Before Hermione could think of a reply, there was a pounding sound on the front door of Harry's house. Sighing, Harry stood and answered the door. Hermione continued sipping her coffee. She soon heard raised voices. Harry's was loudest, but she recognized Ginny's and Ron's voices as well. Hermione suddenly felt like the other woman or the dirty secret...or both.

"NO!" Ginny shouted. "Dammit, I am _not_ coming in second to her again! She hasn't even been around, Harry!"

"I talk to her every week!" Harry shouted back.

Hermione heard a crash of sorts followed by stomping. When Hermione looked up at the doorway, she saw Ginny with a face as red as her hair. She strode over to Hermione as quickly as Hermione scrambled out of the chair. She backed herself into a corner and only then did Ginny stop. She pulled out her wand and held it to Hermione's throat.

"Ginny, _stop!_" Ron called. A moment later, Ron pulled Ginny off of her attack. He shoved her into a wall and held her there, taking her wand. He looked over his shoulder. "Glad you're alive, Hermione, but get the hell out of here," he said.

"She stays," Harry said from the doorway. "You two leave. Ginny, come back for your stuff but that will be the last time you come in here."

"And when she doesn't want you anymore?" Ginny demanded. "What then?"

"Then it's my problem, not yours," Harry said coldly. "Get. Out."

Ginny shoved Ron away from her. He stumbled back a foot and Ginny made her way up to Harry. "You fucking _bastard!_" she shouted before she shoved him into the fridge. Harry winced as he hit it and stayed there until Ginny hit him. Harry grabbed her wrist and used her struggling to grab her other hand and put them both behind her back. Wincing, he pulled his wand from his sleeve and bound her wrists. "I can't believe you did that," he said, forcing her to her knees. He looked up at Ron. "Leave," he said one more time.

"I'm not going anywhere if you're actually arresting my sister," Ron said.

"I'm not," Harry said. "You're taking her with you and you're going to keep her at the Burrow until either you or Charley can come and get her things," Harry said. "She is not coming back."

"Stop talking about me like I'm not fucking here, Harry!" Ginny shouted.

"Then stop acting like a child, Ginny," Harry spat. He pulled her back up to her feet and pushed her towards Ron. "I am _not_ going to tell you again," he said as Ron steadied his sister.

With a scowl, Ron guided Ginny towards the door. A moment later, Hermione heard it slam and breathed a sigh of relief.

Harry slowly moved to the drawer next to the fridge and pulled out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter, his hand on his left side. He moved to the kitchen window and pushed it open before he sat down in his chair and lit up. Hermione, shocked, slowly sat down. "Are you alright?" she asked, noticing that Harry was still clutching his side.

Harry shrugged. "I will be in a few minutes," he said, closing his eyes and bowing his head, his cigarette-free hand still over his ribs.

Hermione remembered the wound when it was fresh. "It never healed?" she asked.

Harry shook his head. "No," he said. "Not completely. Ginny exploited that in the living room. You probably heard the crash..."

"What was that?" Hermione asked.

"Me falling into the coffee table that I tripped over earlier," Harry said with a bitter smirk.

"And...when did you start this?" Hermione asked, gesturing to the cigarette Harry was absently ashing through the open window.

"Six months ago," Harry said roughly, getting back up for an ashtray. He sat back down with it and started rubbing the ashes off of the cherry. "I got too stressed out and one of the other Aurors I work with smokes. After I screamed for an hour about what was on my mind, he handed me his pack and told me that I needed it more than he did. After a week of just looking at them, I finally tried it. Been hooked ever since." He took a drag and slowly let it out.

"Why?"

"Stress," Harry replied simply, resuming his ashing. "With Ginny, work, the Weasleys... I couldn't take it so I kept up the habit. Ginny and I had a _lot_ of fights about it. She kept demanding that I quit or she would leave me. Every time she did it, I picked up a cigarette and told her to go. She never did."

"It's been really bad for you, hasn't it?" Hermione asked.

Harry nodded. "Yeah," he said.

"We talk all of the time," Hermione said softly. "Why didn't you say something before?"

Harry chuckled bitterly and took another drag. "How do you bring that up?" he asked, speaking as he let the smoke out of his lungs. "How do you talk about that when you have thirty people around you, listening to every word you say because they know that call is coming on that day and at that time and they don't know who's on the other end. How do you say 'I hate my life, I hate my girlfriend, and I still love you as much today as I did four years ago when you left'?" he asked, meeting Hermione's eyes for the first time since Ginny and Ron left.

"I guess you don't," Hermione sighed. She took a sip from her rapidly cooling coffee. "I can't help but feel somewhat responsible for this," she confessed. "If I hadn't called..."

"I was already awake," Harry said. "I was outside smoking when I heard the phone ring."

"This would have happened regardless then?" Hermione asked.

Harry nodded. "Trust me," he said. "This is _not_ your fault. I guarantee it would have happened sooner or later."

"I'm sorry things have been so rough for you, Harry," Hermione said softly before she took another drink.

Harry gave a little shrug. He took one last drag from his cigarette and snuffed it out. "Oh well," he sighed. "There isn't much that can be done about what happened."

"So what are you going to do now?" Hermione asked.

Harry met her eyes again. "Well, I'm sort of hoping that you're going to tell me something other than you can't give me what I want when I know for a fact you can."

Hermione sighed. "I have to make a phone call before I can tell you that," she said softly.

"A phone call?" Harry asked.

Hermione nodded. "I've been seeing Blaise Zabini," she said softly. "I have to make sure that his last disappearance is the last one. It's been about two and a half weeks since we last talked, but sometimes he just takes a break without telling me. I heard from Draco that he was planning on going camping this weekend depending on the weather. I have to say, I'm glad his plans were spoiled though he's probably at his apartment with his latest trick..."

"And if this is just a break?" Harry asked. "If he's coming back? Are you seriously going to stick with someone who's cheating on you?"

"He's not coming back, Harry," Hermione softly replied.

"Then what will happen?" Harry asked, raising from the table and getting a fresh cup of coffee. Hermione noticed that this time he didn't seem to be in as much pain from the old wound. "Are you just going to walk out of my life again? Am I going to get one phone call every week where we both clearly lie to each other?" He looked back at her as he stirred the sugar and cream into his coffee. "Is Ginny right?" he asked. "Are you going to tell me that _you_, not something you've convinced yourself to believe, honestly don't want to be with me?"

Hermione sighed and looked away. Those green eyes were too piercing, too hard, for her to be able to look at him and give him an honest answer. If there was an honest answer.

"I don't know," she whispered.

Harry walked back to the table and set down his coffee cup. He knelt down in front of her, placing one hand over hers and the other on her knee. "Then kiss me one last time and I'll let you go," he said softly. "No begging or pleading, no anger, no yelling... Just one last kiss."

"You're going to want another one if I do that," Hermione whispered, not failing to notice the similarity in this conversation to the one that had led to their year-long affair.

"Is that such a horrible thing?" Harry asked.

A smile tugged at the corner of Hermione's mouth. "No," she said softly as she moved closer to him. Harry leaned in and they kissed for the first time in four years.

Harry reached up and placed his hand at the back of Hermione's neck, pulling her slightly closer to him. His tongue brushed her bottom lip and she felt her heart skip a beat. Smiling, she deepened the kiss by sliding from the chair. Harry wrapped his arms around her and broke the kiss in favor of her neck and ear.

Hermione couldn't stop the moan from escaping her. She had been with others since Harry, but none of them could do what he could with just a few kisses.

Harry met her eyes briefly before they kissed again. Hermione pressed herself against him, almost unable to believe that she was actually kissing him again.

They pulled away from each other, breathing heavily. "I told you you'd want another kiss," Hermione said with a smile.

Harry smirked. "I told you it wasn't horrible," he said before he placed one more kiss on her lips. "Are you sure you and Zabini are still together?" he asked. "After more than two weeks without talking to each other?"

"Anita says I should just move on," Hermione said. Harry stood and held out his hands to help her to her feet. Hermione grabbed his hands and he pulled her up effortlessly. "She says that it's clearly over."

"She's probably right," Harry said as they sat down again. "Then again, I go six days without talking to you and I'm going nuts with it."

Hermione smiled. "You're sweet," she said softly.

Harry made a face. "Sweet?" he asked. "Ouch. I was going for irresistible here."

Hermione chuckled. "You already are," she said softly. "Why else do you think I've stayed away so much?" she asked. "Every time I'm around you, I want to be with you in some way."

"So what's stopping you?" Harry asked, taking another sip of his coffee. He reached for his cigarettes. "And don't tell me it's the baby thing," he said as he pulled one out of the pack. "Do you mind?" he asked. "I never asked you earlier."

Hermione shook her head. "Cigarettes, no," she said. "Anita smokes so I'm used to it. _You_ smoking, yes, I mind, but it's your choice not mine."

"I see the possibility of quitting in the near future," Harry said before he brought the cigarette to his mouth and lit it. "When are you going to call Zabini to make sure you two aren't together anymore?" he asked.

Hermione sighed. "Probably when I get home," she said. "I'd call him now, but it's almost three in the morning."

"So are you staying the rest of the night here or are you going back home?"

"I had planned on staying," Hermione confessed. "If that's alright with you, of course."

Harry chuckled. "Because for some reason it wouldn't be," he said with a smile. "This is the first time you've actually been here, isn't it?" he asked.

Hermione nodded. "Pretty much," she said. "I came by after you moved in for a few seconds to drop something off once."

"The sword," Harry said, pointing into the living room. Hermione looked and saw Godric Gryffindor's sword mounted on the wall above the mantle.

"They actually let you keep it?" Hermione asked. "I thought the goblins wanted it back."

"They did," Harry said. "I told them that if they let me keep it just in case I need it again, I would leave it to them in my will, just to make sure the legalities are tied up so they wouldn't have to worry about another wizard coming in and trying to take it again."

"And they agreed?" Hermione asked, surprised.

Harry nodded. "Turns out I've needed to use it three times since Voldemort's death," he said. "It stays out of the _Prophet_ but there have been a few Death Eaters who have decided that they want to follow his path and a couple of them have even gone as far as making Horcruxes."

"Merlin," Hermione whispered. "It's amazing what is kept from the papers."

Harry chuckled. "You don't know the half of it," he said. "Two weeks ago Theodore Nott, he was in Hogwarts with us remember?" he asked. Hermione nodded. "Anyway, two weeks ago, he tried to rob Gringotts. One of the high security vaults had information in it about the Deathly Hollows. He wanted to see if he could discover what they were and find all three."

"You're the only person who has ever had all three in your possession at the same time," Hermione said softly.

Harry shook his head. "I lost the Resurrection Stone before I got the Elder Wand," he reminded her. "It's somewhere in the Forbidden Forest, near where I met up with Voldemort."

"Near where Voldemort killed you, you mean," Hermione said softly.

Harry sighed. "Yeah," he said.

"I don't think I'll ever get over what happened to you out there," Hermione said softly.

"I don't think I'll ever get over what happened to you before I rescued you from the Death Eaters," Harry replied. He flicked the ashes off of his cigarette and took in a deep drag. "I didn't stop looking for you. The only time I took a break was when I was too tired or hungry to keep going. I was desperate."

"You never told me how you found me," Hermione said softly.

"Malfoy and Snape," Harry said simply, taking another drag. "That's why I spoke for them at their trials. While Snape was protecting Malfoy after killing Dumbledore, he convinced Malfoy to switch sides. They found me wondering around some Muggle village and told me where I could find you. I would have killed everyone around, except that there wasn't anyone there when I arrived. They'd all been summoned for something. I got you out and took you to St. Mungo's."

"And I was out two days later and we were back on the road," Hermione sighed. "Soon after that, Ron found us."

Harry nodded. "And wasn't happy to find out we were together," Harry added.

Hermione shrugged. "If he cared enough, he wouldn't have left in the first place," Hermione said.

"You can't blame him, Hermione," Harry said. "You and I struggled with that locket just as much as he did."

"We dealt with it better though," Hermione sighed before she took a sip from her coffee.

"We had sex," Harry said. "That's not dealing."

Hermione blushed a little as she set her coffee cup back down on the table. "So we did," she said with a sigh.

"I didn't mean that it was _only_ sex," Harry amended. "It was more than that."

"Was it?" Hermione asked, meeting Harry's brilliant green eyes. "I mean it, Harry," she said. "Was it really more or are we just trying to fool ourselves into thinking it was?"

"What do I have to do to prove to you that I love you?" Harry asked."Just tell me and I'll do it."

Hermione sighed and held her head in her hands. "I want to feel again," she whispered.

Harry rose from the table and walked around to stand in front of Hermione. He held out his hand as she looked up at him. "Do you trust me?" he asked.

"Always," Hermione replied, taking his hand in hers.

**AN: Don't forget to review please! I loves reviews! ^_^**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: In the last chapter, I promised I'd let anyone who doesn't want to read sex know if anything terribly plot-important happens in this chapter. The answer to that question is...NO! lol There's a little bit of conversation at the beginning and end. If I had to choose one of those conversations to be important or suggest reading one of them, I'd tell you to read the top conversation because it does give a little bit of the history of Harry and Hermione's relationship (the one they had four years prior to the start of the fic). Anywhoo, enjoy and REVIEW! (You _SO _know you want to! (^_^)**

Harry smiled slightly as he looked at Hermione. He pulled her up from her chair and led her back to the bedroom and closed the door behind them. He sat down on the bed and pulled Hermione onto his lap.

"Do you remember the first time we slept together?" he asked, holding her close and resting his head on her shoulder.

Hermione chuckled. "We were so nervous," she said.

Harry nodded. "We were," he agreed. "Do you remember how it happened?" he asked.

Hermione sighed and ran her fingers through Harry's messy black hair. "You said you wanted to feel again," she said softly, not failing to notice that her words had echoed his in the kitchen only moments ago. "You said you had forgotten what you were fighting for and wanted someone to show you that life was still worth living."

"And what did you do?" Harry whispered.

Hermione lowered her face to Harry's. "This," she whispered before she kissed him. It was as though a haze had suddenly been lifted and they had finally woken up from a long dream. Harry's tongue slid across Hermione's and she tasted the tobacco and coffee. She never thought it would have been something she enjoyed, but she found the taste almost exquisite.

Harry's hands found their way under her shirt, caressing her back and fighting the urge to unsnap her bra. Hermione pulled back because she needed air. As her eyes met Harry's her mind was made up. Why bother running from the one thing that feels so _right _in this world? What's the point?

She pulled her shirt over her head and let it drop to the floor. Harry smiled before he leaned in and took one of her breasts in his mouth through the black silky bra she wore. Hermione moaned and arched her back. Only Harry's arm around her kept her from falling to the floor.

Harry's skilled hands unsnapped Hermione's bra and tossed it aside before he turned to her other breast and took her dusky nipple in his mouth. Hermione cried out again, grinding her apex into Harry and feeling the bulge in his pajama pants press against her teasingly. Harry released Hermione's breast as she gasped. He looked up at her. "How long has it been?" he asked.

Hermione kissed Harry's forehead. "Two years," she whispered.

Harry's eyes widened. "Really?" he asked.

Hermione nodded. "After what happened..." she let the thought finish itself wordlessly. This was neither the time nor place to go into what had happened in the past. "And you?" she asked, almost dreading the answer.

Harry sighed. "Four days," he replied guiltily.

Hermione, though she had hoped, wasn't surprised in the slightest. Harry had always been a rather lustful man and with a woman as beautiful as Ginny, there was no doubting that he had taken her to bed. More than once.

Hermione gave Harry a playful smile. "Is she as good as I was?" she asked.

Harry smirked. "Remind me," he said.

Hermione lowered her mouth to his again. "I plan to," she promised before she kissed him.

Hermione broke away from Harry and pulled his shirt over his head. She saw the scars that she remembered as healing cuts the last time she had been with him like this. She ran her hand over a particularly large scar on his side. "They said it wouldn't heal properly," she said softly.

"It didn't," Harry said, raising his arm so he could see the scar. "If I move wrong, it still hurts."

"Really?" Hermione asked, meeting his eyes in the semi darkness.

Harry nodded and took her hand away from the old injury. "We're not here about old wounds," he said.

Hermione looked down at her own battle scar. "Yes we are," she whispered. "To heal them..."

"Then let them be healed," Harry said, reaching up and turning her face to him again. "Let us both feel again."

Hermione nodded and gently pushed Harry back. Harry laid down and Hermione stood to unbuckle her jeans and discard them and her shoes. She pulled her socks off her feet as Harry propped himself up on his elbows. Hermione smiled at him as she crawled back onto the bed. Her golden curls, tamed with the help of potions, cascaded around her face and Harry relished in the sight of it once again. He reached up and pulled her close, capturing her mouth with his as she lay on top of him. Harry rolled them over, putting Hermione on her back while he propped himself up on his side. He lightly ran his hand from her collarbone down to the edge of her panties, ignoring the scar on her stomach, and back up again. Hermione's small moans sent the blood rushing faster to his groin and he felt his cock stiffen with every sound she made. This time, he decided, was all about her.

Harry dipped his head and started kissing the places his hand had roamed. He licked the skin under her breasts and gently nipped her as he moved. Hermione cried out as Harry lightly grazed his teeth over her hardened nipple. He moved his hand between her legs and found her panties had moistened with her arousal. He hooked his thumbs into the hem of the damp garment and pulled it off, casting it aside to some hidden dark corner of his bedroom. He kissed the inside of her thighs, moving farther and farther up. Hermione's cries grew louder almost desperate. Harry smiled up at her before he kissed a different set of lips, tongue thrusting, drowning in the smell of her sex. Hermione's hips bucked as she seemed to try to force Harry deeper into her. Harry plunged two fingers inside of her, searching for the right spot. Hermione cried out and Harry smirked again. He kept stroking that spot as he licked his way up to her clitoris. Hermione nearly screamed with the pleasure that shot through her entire body with every stroke of Harry's tongue and fingers.

"Oh, god, _Harry!"_ Hermione cried before the soft, velvety walls of her vagina constricted around Harry's fingers. Harry kept up his probing and stroking, licking up the juices released from her body and savoring the taste because it had been _so _long since they had been together.

Harry's tongue attacked Hermione's clitoris with a renewed frenzy. Hermione's body convulsed as Harry brought her to a climax. Hermione, as limp as a wet noodle, knew that even the slightest friction would be too much and Harry still had to move.

Harry removed his fingers from Hermione's nether regions, causing Hermione to whimper. He rose up over her. "You can't be spent yet," he said with a lustful twinkle in his eyes.

Hermione laughed. "Just give me a minute," she said breathlessly. "You got better at that."

Harry smiled and kissed the side of her neck. "You just forgot," he whispered in her ear.

"Then why are you still wearing pants?" Hermione asked mischievously.

"I thought you needed a minute," Harry replied.

"I'm fine now," Hermione said, hooking her fingers into the front of Harry's pajama pants and pulling. The fabric moving across the head of his penis made him groan, a sound Hermione had truly missed.

She pulled his pants down to his knees. Harry took care of the rest, tossing them aside with the rest of the clothes.

He moved to lay down with Hermione again, but she stopped him with a hand on his shoulder.

"What?" Harry asked.

"I want to admire the view for a moment," she said with a smile, eyes on Harry's throbbing member. She could see it bounce just a little as Harry's blood pumped through it. Hermione sat up, placing her legs on either side of his knees. Harry looked down at her and had just enough time to brace himself with a hand on her shoulder as she took him into her mouth, using her saliva as a lubricant for her hand to stroke what she couldn't take into her mouth.

Harry cried out, his hand clenching almost painfully on her shoulder. Every time she exhaled through her nose, the air hit the wet skin of his cock and sent a chill through him, raising goosebumps on his entire body. Hermione reached up and caressed his balls, causing Harry to cry out again. She licked the sensitive skin between his shaft and ball sack and Harry involuntarily thrust his hips forward. Hermione smiled before she took the head in her mouth again and ran her tongue over the sensitive tip, tasting pre cum.

"Close," Harry whispered in warning, remembering that Hermione wasn't a fan of him cumming in her mouth.

Hermione, in response, removed her mouth from his throbbing cock and continued stroking him with her hand, rubbing her thumb over the tip as she reached the end of his shaft and squeezing as she moved closer to the base.

With one last strangled cry, Harry let loose his load, spilling his seed all over the front of Hermione. He sat down, hard enough to bounce the bed, and sighed happily. "Damn," he said with a husky voice as he lay down.

Hermione chuckled. "Now look who's spent," she said.

Harry raised an eyebrow as he lifted his head and looked at her. "Excuse me?" he asked. He pointed to his cock. "That's still hard, I might point out."

"Good, Hermione said, placing a kiss on Harry's chest. "I want that inside of me."

"Do you know?" Harry asked, propping himself up on his elbows. "Think you can take it?" he asked.

Hermione nodded. "I'm sure I can," she said as she placed a knee on either side of his hips. "Keep up," she said before she lowered herself onto Harry, taking him inside of her.

Hermione gasped, having forgotten just how big Harry really was. He was deceptively large. Looking at him, one would see the average sized dick. When it came to actually having sex with him, he filled up every inch. Hermione could feel the tip of his shaft against her cervix. She didn't remember feeling that before.

"Did you...?" she half-asked.

"Get bigger?" Harry asked. "Apparently."

"Well then," Hermione said before she rose up again. "You're on top."

Harry chuckled as Hermione laid down on the bed. "I guess you can't take it," he as he rose up over her and kissed her.

"Sure I can," Hermione purred. "Fuck me, Harry," she said. "Don't just make love to me, _fuck _me."

Harry's eyebrows rose again. "I can do that," he said before he positioned himself at her opening. "Ready?" he asked.

Hermione nodded. Harry thrust into her fast and hard. Hermione cried out, half in pleasure, half in pain. Harry slowly pulled out before he thrust into her again, slamming into her cervix. Hermione cried out again and Harry pulled back out. This time, when he thrust, she did too. A wave of shock and pleasure tore through Hermione and left her breathless.

Every thrust tore a sound from their throats. The pace quickened and the bed soon slammed into the wall with their movements. Hermione tightly wrapped her legs around Harry's waist. The pressure built within each of them until finally exploding, leaving them both deaf and blind in the throws of the orgasms. Harry spilled every last drop of his seed inside of Hermione, filling her up as the heat seemed to explode within her.

Sweaty and exhausted, Harry collapsed, barely managing to miss landing on Hermione. Hermione rolled onto her side, wrapping her leg around Harry's and resting her head over his fiercely beating heart. Harry wrapped a lazy arm around her shoulders and closed his eyes. "I love you," he said.

"I love you too," Hermione replied, letting her eyes drift closed.

"Mind if I smoke?" Harry asked.

Hermione lifted her head. "Why?" she asked.

"Because after that, I really want one," he said. "And I really don't want to move."

"The after-sex cigarette?" Hermione asked with a smile.

Harry nodded. "It's the best one," he said. "If it bugs you, I'll drag my ass into the kitchen."

Hermione shook her head and kissed Harry's chest. "It's your house," she said. "Smoke where and when you want."

"I know it's my house," Harry said, reaching for the cigarettes in the nightstand drawer. "That's not what I was asking."

"No, I don't mind," Hermione said. "I told you that earlier."

Harry nodded and put an unlit cigarette into his mouth. "Yeah," he agreed, "but I figured it'd be nice of me to ask anyway."

"It's fine," Hermione said as Harry flicked his lighter. The sudden light was harsh but went out quickly enough.

"Actually," Hermione said as she raised her head again, "give me one of those."

"What?" Harry asked as he exhaled the smoke from his lungs.

"You heard me," Hermione said. "I live with a smoker, Harry, don't think I didn't try it at least once. Hand one over."

"How about I just split this one with you?" Harry asked, holding the smoldering cigarette out for Hermione.

"Fine," Hermione replied as she took the cigarette. She inhaled and coughed a little. "Menthol?" she asked.

Harry nodded. "Yeah," he said. "I don't like the taste of regular tobacco."

"Oh," Hermione said. She took another drag before she handed it back to Harry. She slowly let the smoke from her lungs. "That is the best, isn't it?" she asked with a smile.

Harry laughed. "Oh yeah," he said. He reached up and brushed a few of the brown curls away from Hermione's face. "God, I'm glad you came," he said. "I've missed you so much."

Hermione smiled. "I missed you too," she said, feeling again for the first time in four years.

**AN: So yeah...the sex...gotta love sex. lol Feel free to leave a review, ya'll know that's how us writers get our rocks off. (^_^) **


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Welcome to Chapter Four! Anita gets to meet Harry and wants to know what happened during the night Hermione was away. Girl-talk begins the second Harry leaves the room... (^_^) btw: Review please?**

Hermione cautiously opened the door to her apartment and looked inside before daring to enter. The moment she stepped into the apartment, she knew she should have left a note or something.

"Fuck! Hermione!" Anita cried, putting her cigarette into an overfilling ashtray and running at her room mate. Before the door could close, Anita had her arms wrapped tightly around her friend. "Where the fuck have you been?" she demanded.

A deep chuckle made Anita pull away from Hermione. She looked to the doorway and gasped so suddenly she started coughing. She went to the counter where her coffee sat and took a drink. Red-faced, she looked back at the couple at the doorway. "Oh my god," she said with a rough voice, picking her burning cigarette back up.

Hermione chuckled. "Anita, I'd like you to meet Harry Potter," she said with a smile.

Anita started laughing. "You are a foul little shit, do you know that?" she demanded. "Disappearing without a word and not coming home for almost a full day?" she cried. "You can't tell me that he doesn't have a phone because you call him every damn week!"

Hermione smiled. "Were you _worried_ about me?" she asked. "Miss I-Don't-Have-A-Care-In-The-World?"

Anita laughed. "You know you're practically my sister," she said. "Anyway," she said turning to Harry, "Nice to meet you and I _can't_ believe she actually brought you back here," she said. "Excuse my state of shock, I'm usually much louder than this."

Harry laughed. "It's a common reaction," he said. "Is it alright if I smoke?" he asked, looking between the two of them.

"Fuck yeah!" Anita cried, moving to empty her ash tray. She looked at Hermione as she emptied the butts into the trash can. "You never told me he smoked," she said.

"I didn't know until about one o'clock this morning," Hermione said.

Harry gave Hermione a curious look as he lit up. "One?" he asked. "You didn't make it over until almost two," he said.

"Ginny screamed about you smoking remember?" Hermione asked, joining Harry and Anita at the ash tray.

Harry nodded. "Right," he said, flicking ashes off of his cigarette and inhaling a deep drag.

Anita raised an eyebrow. "Trouble in paradise?" she asked.

"Not anymore," Harry said with a smile and a lingering look at Hermione.

"Oh _no way!_" Anita cried, staring at the two of them. Anita stared at Hermione. "What happened to 'that was years ago and he's happy now'?" she asked patronizingly.

"I'm allowed to be wrong once in a while," Hermione said with a smirk. "And wasn't it you who insisted that I call him and tell him the whole truth?"

Anita nodded. "Can't argue with that," she said, lighting a new cigarette. "So you finally concede that Blaise is all wrong for you?" she asked.

Hermione nodded. "I knew he was a long time ago," she said. "I still have to call him..."

"Pfft," Anita muttered, waving her off. "Let Draco do it," she said. "You know he's been dying to give Blaise that news for a long time."

Hermione nodded and sighed. "Might as well let him have the fun," she said.

"Is this the Draco I think it is?" Harry asked.

Hermione glanced at Harry and nodded. "One and the same," she said. "He and Blaise are close so Draco's come around a few times."

"Wow," Harry said, snuffing out his cigarette. "Last time I saw him was at his trial."

Hermione nodded. "I know," she said with a smile.

"And he never told you that he was the one who helped me find you?" Harry asked.

Hermione shook her head. "We never talked about it," she said. "Almost all talk of the war stays out of the apartment when he and Blaise are here."

"Oliver too," Anita said. "Though after yesterday's confrontation, I don't see him coming back around."

Hermione laughed. "I maintain that he has just cause to accuse you of cheating on him again," she said. "You haven't spoken to him since you got home?"

Anita shook her head. "Nope," she said simply, taking a drag. "Not a word. Not that I really care, but _damn_ the man was a god in the bedroom."

Hermione laughed as Harry suddenly busied himself with taking a deep drag off his cigarette.

"Awe, Boy Wonder's blushing!" Anita said happily, even though Harry wasn't.

Harry raised an eyebrow. "Am not," he said around his cigarette.

Anita chuckled. "Anyway," she said, smiling, "what happened last night?" she asked, looking at Hermione. "You went to bed early and then I heard you leave around two."

"Nightmare again," Hermione confessed, moving for coffee. Anita sat on a stool next to the counter the ashtray was on and flicked the ashes of her smoke away. Hermione busied herself with two cups of coffee without a word. She placed on in front of Harry before walking around the counter to sit in the other stool. Harry leaned against the counter, sipping his coffee.

"And?" Anita asked. "You have that nightmare four times a week at least. It's never driven you out of the apartment before."

Hermione sighed. "You suggested I call Harry," Hermione said softly, slowly turning her coffee cup. "So I did. I told him all of it and he asked me to come over..."

Harry reached across the counter for Hermione's hand. She looked up at him as he gave it a gentile squeeze. "Then she got to witness the worst break up of my life," Harry said with a chuckle.

"Yeah," Hermione said slowly, looking back at Anita. "Ginny wasn't happy to find me at the house."

"Wait a minute," Anita said, looking at the two of them. "Are you seriously telling me that you left your girlfriend for Hermione?" she asked Harry.

Harry shook his head. "No, I left Ginny because I was tired of dealing with the bullshit," he said. "Hermione's influence was actually very small in the break up, though I'm sure Ron, Ginny, and the rest of the Weasley Clan are going to disagree."

"Probably," Hermione agreed as Harry's cell phone began to ring. Harry sighed and let go of Hermione's hand. He pulled his phone out of his pocket to see who was calling. "Is there somewhere I can take this privately?" he asked.

"My room," Hermione said. "Down the hall, third door on the left."

Harry nodded and put out his cigarette. As he passed her, he kissed her cheek. As he walked down the hall, he answered the phone. "Potter," he said before they heard Hermione's bedroom door open and close.

Anita smiled and lit a new cigarette. "Did you two shag?" she asked.

Hermione laughed. "I knew that was going to be the first question you asked," she said, shaking her head. "Yes, we did," she said, blushing.

"And?" Anita asked eagerly.

Hermione flopped over the counter. "Oh...my..._god!_" she cried. "I still feel like a limp noddle."

"Wow," Anita said with a smirk. "Details!" she cried.

Hermione started laughing. "He got bigger," she said in a high voice as she buried her face in her arms.

"From what you told me, he was big enough four years ago," Anita said. "He's _bigger_ now?"

Hermione nodded. "Oh yeah," she said. "And better."

"I want one!" Anita cried pitifully.

Hermione started laughing again. "Mine," she said, looking at her room mate again.

Anita smiled. "Possessive much?" she asked.

Hermione nodded. "Very," she conceded. She sighed happily before sitting back up and taking a sip of her coffee. "He was going to ask me to marry him four years ago," she said, staring at the pale drink in her cup. "The day I left him..."

"Merlin," Anita sighed, taking a drag from her cigarette. "That had to be harsh."

Hermione nodded. "Yeah," she said softly. "I just...I couldn't give him a family any more so I didn't want to hold him back. I wanted him to be happy but I ended up making him more miserable. I thought he was happy with Ginny and it turned out that he hated going home because of what she was doing to him. She's a big reason why he smokes now."

"Wow," Anita said. "Am I going to have to start looking for a new room mate?" she asked.

Hermione shook her head. "Not yet," she promised. "I'll let you know if it gets to that point before it gets there," she promised.

Anita nodded. "Good," she said with a smile.

Hermione smiled as she took a sip from her coffee. She heard her bedroom door open and close again as Harry's footsteps brought him back into the front of the apartment. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and kissed the top of her head. "I've got to go," he said.

"Is everything okay?" Hermione asked, looking up at him.

Harry shrugged. "Auror stuff," he said. "Something's going on in Knockturn Alley and I've got to go check it out. It shouldn't take too long," he promised. "I'll see you tomorrow?" he asked.

Hermione frowned. "Why not tonight?" she asked.

"Ron and Charley are coming over to get Ginny's stuff," Harry said, holding up his phone. "Two calls," he said. "Charley strongly suggested you not be around when they arrive."

Hermione sighed and pulled on Harry's shirt to bring him within kissing range. "Call me when they leave," she said.

Harry nodded and kissed Hermione one more time. "Promise," he said. "I love you," he said.

"I love you too," Hermione said with a smile. "Be safe," she said.

Harry chuckled. "Every day," he promised before he kissed her one more time and left.

Anita laughed as the door shut behind Harry. "God, you two are sugary," she said, getting up to put Harry's half-full coffee cup into the sink. She returned to her stool to light a new cigarette. "You really love him," she said.

Hermione nodded slowly. "I always have," she said. "I remember the exact day I fell in love with him," she said softly.

"Oh?" Anita asked. "Do tell."

Hermione chuckled and took another sip of her coffee. "First year," she said. "We were standing in front of seven mismatched goblets and there was a riddle with them. Three were poison, two were wine, one would let the drinker move forward and the last would let the drinker go back. At this point, Harry was just like every other first year wizard. When I solved the riddle and told him which one would let us go forward, he realized there was only enough for one of us. He didn't even think twice about not letting that one be me. He insisted that I go back and wouldn't even let me protest. He told me to get Ron, go get brooms, and then get out of the dungeon. I was so afraid for him, I thought for sure that if he went on without me he was going to die but I couldn't go with him. When he tried to tell me that he wasn't anything more than an average wizard and that I was better...I laughed at him because everything I knew came from a book or my wits. He was so much more than me..."

"And you fell in love with him right then and there?" Anita asked.

"Well, I realized it then," Hermione said with a soft chuckle. "Like every other girl in the Wizarding World, I had a crush on him the moment I saw him."

Anita laughed softly. "Wow," she said. "And now here we all are, twelve years later, and you have his heart so tightly in your grip that he won't even look at another woman."

"That's not entirely true," Hermione said with a smile. "He was with Ginny for a year. And there were half a dozen more girls between the two of us."

Anita waved that off. "Please," she muttered. "That man may have been with a dozen women in his life, but the only one in his heart is you. _That_ is completely obvious. Otherwise, he wouldn't have shagged you last night. How did he convince you anyway?" Anita asked suddenly, interrupting Hermione's response. "I thought you were insistent that you're with Blaise."

Hermione laughed. "He asked for one last kiss before I walked out of his life again," she said. "I told him that if I gave him one, he'd want another and he asked if that was such a bad thing. And it wasn't so much him convincing me, it was me needing him."

"How so?" Anita asked.

"I told him that I wanted to feel again," Hermione whispered, staring into her coffee as though it showed her the memory. "It's the same thing he said to me the first time we slept together," she said softly. "He couldn't remember what we were fighting for and I gave him hope again."

"Then you found out you were pregnant, got captured, and left him," Anita said.

Hermione shook her head. "I found out I was pregnant, got captured, rescued, healed, we defeated Voldemort, and _then_ I left him," she said.

"Did you leave him because the fight was over?" Anita asked.

Hermione shrugged. "I left him because I didn't think I could make him happy knowing that there was no way we'd ever be able to have children," she said. "I waited until Voldemort was gone, but that was because I knew if I left him before then he wouldn't know what to do. I don't think that he would have done it without me there."

"Well, you and the upperclassmen and professors of Hogwarts plus that Order thing."

Hermione shook her head. "Whether or not they were there isn't really relevant. The numbers helped because Voldemort had numbers at his side, but it was _always_ going to be a duel between the two of them that ended the war. Had I left Harry before that duel, I don't think he would have wanted to win."

"How does it feel to know that the fate of the world rested in your hands?" Anita asked.

Hermione shrugged. "It was the burden Ron and I took on when we decided we weren't leaving Harry's side. The three of us shared it."

Anita sighed. "Not evenly," she said. Hermione couldn't help but agree with her.

**AN: Don't forget to review!**


	5. Chapter 5

A knock on the door shortly after Harry's departure confused Anita and Hermione as they sat finishing their coffee. With a sigh, Hermione stood and answered the door. She was shocked to see Blaise standing on the other side.

"Hey," he said with a smirk. "I was hoping you'd answer."

Hermione shut the door in Blaise's face.

Blaise pounded on the door from the other side. "Let me in!" he pleaded. "Come on, Mione, I'm sorry, alright?" he called. "Please! Come on, just let me in!"

Hermione shared a look with Anita before she opened the door again. Blaise smiled. "My name, for the _last_ time, is _Her_mione, _not_ Mione. And you can go right back to wherever you came from because I'm done with you. I'm tired of wondering if you're going to come back around so I'm going to make sure, right now, that you don't. Goodbye, Blaise."

Blaise put a hand on the door before Hermione could shut it. "What the hell is your problem?" he demanded. "Seriously, _Hermione_, you can't blame me for going out and getting my rocks off with someone else because _you_ are too much of a damn prude to fuck. Seriously, let me in so we can talk about this. I won't wonder around if you'll just give it up."

Shaking her head, Hermione tried to shut the door again. Blaise kept it open by putting his foot in the way. Throwing her weight against the door didn't help either. Blaise pushed the door open, knocking Hermione to the floor. He walked in and slammed the door behind him.

"Oy!" Anita cried from the counter, snuffing out her latest cigarette. "Get the fuck out!"

Blaise pulled out his wand and aimed it at Anita. "Why don't you?" he coldly asked. "This is between my girlfriend and I."

"She's not your fucking girlfriend anymore, you stupid prick!" Anita shouted.

Anita moved to help Hermione to her feet, but Blaise, with his wand already aimed, was faster. One second, Anita was walking to Hermione. The next, she was on the floor, unconscious.

Blaise turned to Hermione. "Now that we're alone," he muttered, aiming his wand again.

Hermione's heart pounded in her chest. _Oh god, no!_ she silently prayed. _Harry, where are you?_ Gulping, Hermione tried to discretely retrieve her wand.

"None of that," Blaise said, noticing. Hermione had just touched the handle of her wand when it suddenly went flying through the air toward Blaise. If he was anything, he was an expert at silent spells. With another flick of his wand, Hermione felt herself relax completely. There was nothing to fear...

_Take off your clothes._

Hermione stood and pulled her shirt up over her head. As she began to unbutton her jeans, she hesitated. _I don't want to do this!_ she desperately thought.

_Take off your clothes,_ the gentile voice requested once again.

_No,_ Hermione replied, feeling a headache come on. _Harry! Anita! Merlin, someone _help_ me!_

Another pair of hands was suddenly unbuckling her pants. Hermione tried to push the hands away. They fought her hands until finally whatever kept her peaceful snapped. "NO!" Hermione shouted, pushing Blaise away from her. "Stay away from me!" she ordered, meeting Blaise's eyes with a look that would have killed if they could. Hermione stooped to retrieve her shirt when she found herself flying backwards off her feet. She slammed into the counter and cried out in pain before she crumpled to the floor. Blaise was suddenly on top of her, dragging her legs to make her lay down.

Hermione kicked, but his hands around her ankles meant she didn't do any damage. "I swear to god, Blaise, I will scream," she warned.

Blaise laughed. "Be my guest," he said. "No one is going to hear you."

"Bullshit!" Hermione spat, trying to get away from him again.

The door slammed open. For a moment, Blaise and Hermione both froze before looking to the door to see Harry standing there with Draco right behind him. Harry walked up to the pair at the counter and delivered a punch to Blaise's face that sent him stumbling backward. Wand aimed, Harry helped Hermione up from the floor and stood between the two of them. Blaise straightened and wiped the blood from his lip.

"You are under arrest for the use of the Unforgivable Imperious Curse," Harry said in a dark voice. Silver bonds began to wrap around Blaise's arms. "You will be escorted to Azkaban Prison where you will await a trial before the Wizengamot and the Minister of Magic," Harry continued. "Anything, and I mean _anything,_ you say can and will be held against you. I strongly suggest you keep your mouth shut," Harry spat as Draco took Blaise's wand.

Harry looked at Draco. "Can you?" he asked.

Draco nodded. "Of course," he said with a sigh. He looked at the man who was supposed to be his best friend. "You're an idiot, you know that?" he demanded.

Blaise, taking Harry's advice, simply glared at Draco. Draco shook his head and began leading Blaise out of the apartment. The moment the door was shut, Harry, against his desires, moved to Anita. He checked her pulse to make sure she was still alive before enervating her.

Anita opened her eyes and looked around in confusion as she sat up. "What happened?" she asked.

Harry looked at Hermione. She stood at the mouth of the hallway, arms wrapped tightly around herself and tears slowly rolling down her cheeks.

Harry stood and rushed to her, wrapping his arms around her small form. Hermione let out a sob as she buried her face in Harry's chest and he held her tight as she let it all out. He kissed the top of her head, holding her tightly, and clenched his eyes shut, fighting his own tears.

Anita stared at the two of them, noticing Hermione's shirt on the floor. She picked it up and set it on the counter next to Harry before she lit up a cigarette. It didn't take an Unspeakable to figure out what had just happened.

Harry skillfully picked Hermione up off of her feet and carried her to her room. He sat down on her bed before brushing the tears away from her face. "How far did he get?" Harry asked with a rough voice.

Hermione shook her head. "He didn't," she said through her tears. "But it's brought up memories I wish I didn't have to face again."

Harry sighed heavily and kissed Hermione's forehead. "What do you need me to do?" he asked, his voice thick and shaky.

"Just stay with me," Hermione whispered. "Don't leave me alone right now. Please?" she asked.

Harry nodded. "I just have to make a couple phone calls," he said, kissing her temple. "Do you want me to make it in here?"

Hermione nodded. "If you can," she said.

Harry nodded and reached into his pocket for his cell phone. Hermione watched as he scrolled through numbers and saw he that he called the Auror Department first. Still holding her tightly, Harry brought the phone up to his ear.

"Adams," he said before he cleared his throat. There was a moment of silence before Harry spoke again. "Hey, it's Potter," he said. "Malfoy's bringing in Zabini. He was caught using an Unforgivable. ...Imperius. ...I have the victim in my arms right now," he said. "My girlfriend. ...No, not Ginny," he said. "Hermione Granger." Harry sighed. "Yeah, that one," he said. "Look, I will give you a full report first thing tomorrow morning, but right now, she's more important. I cant leave her alone—" Harry sighed again. "Sir, I understand that, but you don't understand what she's been through in the past and what this attack means. She was nearly raped, sir, and I don't know if you know what happened five years ago, but I'm not leaving her alone right now. I will be in first thing in the morning and I'll bring her and her room mate in with me if it means you'll just give it a rest today. I've never asked for this before," he said. Harry sighed one more time. "Thank you, sir," he said. "First thing in the morning, I promise," he said before he ended the call.

"Your boss?" Hermione asked.

Harry nodded, already scrolling through numbers to make his next call. Hermione was surprised to see that it was Charley. Harry brought the phone up to his ear again. He was quiet for only a few second before Hermione heard someone answer.

"Hi, Charley," Harry said. "Can you and Ron come for Ginny's stuff tomorrow?" he asked. "I'd rather not go into it," he said. "You know I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important. ...Work related," Harry said after a moment of silence. "Great, thanks, man. I owe you. ...Bye."

Harry sighed, ending the call as he brought the phone away from his ear. "Sorry," he said, giving Hermione an apologetic look.

Hermione shrugged halfheartedly. "You can make up for it by giving me a cigarette," she said softly. "And I mean actually giving me one this time, not splitting it with me."

Harry nodded. "In here or where?" he asked.

"By the window," Hermione replied, uncurling herself and getting up from Harry's lap. Harry followed her to the window sill. Hermione opened the window as Harry pulled two cigarettes out. Shivering, Hermione realized she wasn't wearing more than a bra and unbuttoned jeans. With shaking hands, Hermione fumbled to fasten her pants and moved to the dresser for a new shirt. When she returned to the window, Harry handed her a lit cigarette and sat down on the floor by the window. Hermione sat in his lap and Harry wrapped his free arm around her stomach.

"How did you get here in time?" Hermione whispered, taking a drag from the cigarette.

"Draco," Harry replied. "Blaise went to him with his plan right before he came here so Draco had me called out to Knockturn Alley so he could tell me. If he'd know that I was with you, he wouldn't have called but..."

"He didn't know," Hermione said softly.

Harry slowly nodded, exhaling smoke. "He didn't know," he repeated.

"Nice to know he cared enough to do something about it," Hermione nearly whispered, closing her eyes. She remembered the first night she and Harry had been back together alone after her stay with the Death Eaters. He'd held her most of the night as she cried, wishing he could do something to make the nightmares go away. He'd done the best he could when he defeated Voldemort, just as he'd done his best by getting to her in time to stop it from happening again and arresting her attacker.

A knock on the door roused Hermione from her memories as she and Harry turned to it. Anita opened the door and looked in on the two of them. "Are you staying with her?" she asked, eyes on Harry.

Harry nodded. "I'm not going anywhere right now."

Anita nodded. "Good," she said. "I've got to get out of here," she said, looking at Hermione. "I just called Oliver," she said. "He's going to forgive me in light of recent events so..."

Harry shook his head. "You can't leave," he said sadly.

"What?" Anita demanded. "Who are you to tell me I can't leave my own flat?"

Harry sighed. "An Auror," he replied. "You're a witness to a severe crime and you have to give a formal statement tomorrow morning with Hermione, Draco, and I, assuming Draco doesn't give his when he delivers Zabini. Your boyfriend can come here, but I can't let you leave."

Anita swore. "Fine," she muttered, shaking her head. She pulled out her phone as she closed the door.

"We should go out into the living room to make sure she doesn't leave," Hermione said softly.

Harry nodded. "I was just thinking that," he agreed.

Anita tried to walk out the front door less than five minutes after Harry and Hermione moved out into the living room. With a frustrated sigh, she walked back to her room and closed the door. Hermione looked at Harry. "Why can't she leave?" she asked.

Harry rubbed his eyes under his glasses. "Because she's a witness," he said. "And because there's every possible chance Zabini wasn't acting alone (even though I know he was) and that someone could attack again. It's rare that these are isolated events."

Hermione sighed. "What if she swears she'll be at the Ministry in the morning to deliver her statement?" Hermione asked. "Or if she goes there now?"

Harry sighed. "If she delivers her statement to the Auror department, she can go wherever she wants," he said with a shrug. "But she has to be escorted."

"Can Draco do it?" Hermione asked. "You trusted him enough to let him take Blaise in."

Harry gave Hermione an odd look. "Didn't you know he's an Auror?" he asked.

"He is?" Hermione asked, shocked.

Harry nodded. "He graduated from the Academy at the same time I did," he said. "Different areas though, which is why I don't normally see him. Today was an exception."

"Oh," Hermione said, stunned. "Wow."

Harry chuckled. "I can call him and have him take Anita in."

Hermione nodded. "Please do," she said. "Otherwise Anita will just climb out her window."

Harry nodded. "You might want to go tell her that I'm calling," he said.

Hermione sighed, nodded and stood as Harry pulled his phone out of his pocket once more. She held his free hand as she walked away until she was too far to keep holding it. She heard Harry start talking as she walked down the hall. She knocked on Anita's door and opened it slowly, relieved to find Anita fuming at her desk. "What?" Anita growled.

"Harry's calling an Auror to escort you to the Ministry so you can give your statement and go to Oliver's," Hermione said.

Anita smiled as she turned to Hermione. "Really?" she asked. "I won't be stuck here?"

Hermione nodded. "Yeah," she said.

"Oh thank god!" Anita cried, jumping up and running across the room to hug Hermione. "You know...you two should probably get out of here too," Anita said as she pulled away from Hermione. "It can't be easy for you to stick around after what almost happened."

Hermione nodded. "We probably will," she said softly. "I don't want to be here any more than you do right now," she agreed.


	6. Chapter 6

When Draco returned to escort Anita to the Ministry of Magic, Harry helped Hermione pack a few things to take to his house. Once packed, they left the apartment. Harry put a spell on the door to alert him if someone other than Hermione or Anita should show up without invitation or one of the women home.

Back at Harry's, he led Hermione back to the bedrooms. "Guest room or in with me?" he asked.

Hermione smiled sadly. "With you," she said.

Harry nodded and kissed her forehead before placing her things inside his bedroom door. Hermione walked over to his bed and sat down, holding her face in her hands. "Why did he do that?" she whispered.

Harry sighed and sat down next to Hermione. "Because he's an arse," he said softly, kissing her temple. They laid down, Harry spooning Hermione from behind. He wrapped his arms around her and sighed heavily. "Do you need anything?" he asked.

"Just you," Hermione softly replied, closing her eyes. It wasn't long before she fell asleep.

When Hermione opened her eyes, she was alone in Harry's bedroom. She sat up slowly, rubbing the sleep from her eyes, and wondered out to the kitchen, where she saw Harry sitting with Charley. They both had cigarettes in their hands and beers on the table in front of them. Charley looked up as Hermione entered the room and smiled at her. "Hey, Hermione," he said. "How are you?"

"Still a little shaken," she said. "Did Harry tell you what happened?"

Charley shook his head, a confused look making him frown. He turned to Harry. "You said it was important that Ron and I not get Ginny's stuff today, but you didn't tell me why," he said.

"Hermione was attacked earlier," Harry said, holding his hand out for his girlfriend. Hermione walked up to Harry and he pulled her into his lap, snuffing out his cigarette in the ash tray.

"Shit, are you okay?" Charley asked, his blue eyes wide.

Hermione nodded. "I am now," she said. "Like I said, I'm still a little shaken, but overall, I'm fine. No permanent damage. Just old memories."

"Okay," Charley said slowly. Hermione reached for Harry's beer and took a drink.

"There's more in the fridge," Harry said before he kissed Hermione's shoulder. "Help yourself to whatever."

Hermione nodded and took another sip of Harry's drink before she set it back on the table. "Okay," she said.

Harry chuckled. "You're just going to drink mine, aren't you?" he asked.

Hermione nodded. "Probably," she agreed, causing the two men to laugh. Hermione sighed as she looked at Charley. "So how is Ginny?" she asked.

Charley rolled his eyes and took a drink of his beer before finishing off his cigarette. "She's a Weasley," he said as he and Harry both lit new cigarettes. "She's got the Weasley temper and she is adamant that you two have been seeing each other behind everyone's backs for months now."

"That's crazy!" Hermione cried, staring at Charley in shock.

"Is it?" Charley asked. "Look at you two," he said simply, holding his hand out in a gesture for them to look. "You're acting like you never broke up and that's part of what kills Ginny the most. She knows you two are together, that you've never stopped loving each other, and that no matter what she's done she's never been able to compete with the one woman who stole Harry Potter's heart. It's really not all that crazy for her to be saying these things and a lot of people are going to believe her. It's almost like the two of you never actually broke up and Ginny was the other woman."

Harry sighed and rest his forehead against Hermione's back. Hermione reached for Harry's beer and took another drink while she thought of what to say. "For six months, Harry and I hardly spoke to each other," she said. "It was right after I left him, remember?" she asked. Charley nodded. "While Ginny is valid in her thoughts and feelings, that's not something that's even disputable, it doesn't change the fact that she's still wrong. Harry is and always was loyal to the woman he was dating, at least physically. Emotions can't be controlled. They can be ignored, acknowledged and pushed aside, or given into, but they cannot be controlled. Harry and I have kept our distance from each other. We've not been alone in years, not until yesterday. Someone else was _always_ in the room with us. If everyone left the room for one reason or another, so did one of us. It was never a conscious decision and was absolutely never discussed. That doesn't change the fact that the feelings were still there like they always are. However, we were both adult enough to keep our distance from each other because the fact of the matter still stands: Neither of us were available for whatever reason. I said a few very cruel things to Harry when I left him, it's another reason why it took me six months to come back from hiatus. The first time we saw each other again, I went home and I cried for three days," Hermione whispered. Charley's light blue eyes widened a fraction and Harry lifted his head to stare at the back of Hermione's in shock. "It hasn't been easy for either of us, these last four years," she continued. "Speaking once a week by telephone after spending almost every moment of seven years together...it was like there was a massive gaping hole where my heart had been. I'd never really known how _physical_ emotions could be until I left Harry. It may seem like we never truly parted, but I promise you, _promise_ you, those four years have been the worst of my life because I had to make myself believe that I was never going to get the dream."

Charley sighed, blowing smoke out through his nose and making him seem a little bit like the dragons he'd once studied. "I know how you feel," he said softly. "But just because I can sympathize doesn't mean I'm on your side. Ginny's my only sister and she's the baby. I remember the day she was born. So..." he sighed heavily before taking a last drag from his cigarette and putting it out, "I want you both to remember that I don't hate you, I sympathize with you both, and that I have to remain loyal to my family. The last thing the family needs right now is another Percy so we're all going to pretend that this conversation isn't happening. Agreed?" he asked.

Harry and Hermione nodded. "Sure thing," Harry said, taking his beer from the table before Hermione could. He took a swig before he put out his cigarette. "Do you want as much of Ginny's stuff as you can take now or do you want to wait until you and Ron can both come get it?"

"How much does she have here?" Charley asked.

Harry shrugged. "More than enough that I'm sure we're both going to forget some of it," he said. "I'm also fairly certain that she'll end up with some of my things and I'll end up keeping some of hers."

"It would be easier if Gin could be here for all of this," Charley muttered, shaking his head.

Harry sighed. "You didn't see her last night," he said. "I really don't want her to come back here if it can be avoided. There's no telling what she'll do next time. She damn near cursed Hermione and she attacked me. I don't want to arrest her, so I'm going to insist that she not be here."

Charley nodded. "I get it, Mate," he said. "Completely understandable. It doesn't change the fact that things would go easier if someone knew what was Ginny's and what wasn't other than you. It would make things go faster."

"I'll put her things together if that would help," Harry offered. "I'll even put it all in boxes and have them out here so that when you and Ron come to pick up her things, it's all ready. It's bad enough that it's a break up to begin with," Harry said. "I want to make what I can go smoothly."

Charley nodded. "So you want me to come back when you have her stuff together?" he asked. Harry sighed before he drained the last of his beer. He rest his head against Hermione's shoulder and nodded. "Give me a call then."

"Are you in such a hurry to leave?" Harry asked, holding his head up again and meeting Charley's eyes. "Is it against the rules to visit your best friend when he's suddenly your sister's ex?"

Charley sighed. "Harry, you know you're practically my brother, but you know how the family's been since Fred's death. Weasleys first. There isn't room for anyone or anything else. While you two are practically adopted, you're not Weasleys. If I choose you over Ginny, even though I know you're right, I lose my family. Bill's probably the only one who'll talk to me if I do it, so I'd really rather not put the theory to the test. I'm sorry, Harry, but you're going to have to be my dirty little one more time. Not forever. Just long enough. I'll let you know when things calm down."

Harry sighed. "I'll show you out then," he said as the three of them stood. Hermione stayed behind as Harry escorted Charley to the front door and went to the fridge to pull out two fresh long-neck bottles. As she put them down on the table and sat in the chair Charley had occupied, she couldn't help but think about how this was the room she and Harry had truly reunited.

With a sigh, Hermione opened one of the beers. As she sipped, she wondered how they had really come to this point. Harry and Charley weren't supposed to be brothers, Harry and Ron were. Of course, Hermione wasn't supposed to feel like the other woman either. In fact, had everything gone according to plan, Hermione and Harry would have married years ago and probably had two, maybe even three children by now. That had been the plan anyway...

Harry returned to a saddened smile from Hermione. "Hey," he said as though he hadn't properly greeted her yet. "How did you sleep?"

Hermione shrugged her shoulders. "I'd have to say I slept fine, seeing as I don't remember," she replied, causing Harry to chuckle. "You?"

Harry smiled. "Well enough until my cell started going off," he replied. "Charley wanted some answers."

"To which questions?" Hermione asked.

"The biggest one was whether or not we've been seeing each other behind Ginny's back."  
Hermione nodded. "It certainly does look like it, doesn't it?" Hermione asked.

Harry sighed as he shrugged and sat down. He opened the bottle waiting for him and took a sip before he answered. "I suppose," he said. "Except for the fact that, until yesterday, you and I haven't seen each other in months."

"Seven of them," Hermione agreed before she brought the bottle up to her lips again. "But it's obvious that we've been talking, Harry. And they all know what we were like four years ago. It's not like we kept it a secret. Ginny and I have been jealous of each other from the start."

"You were jealous of Ginny?" Harry asked, interrupting Hermione before she could continue.

"Of course I was," Hermione said. "She's absolutely beautiful, Harry, not even you can deny that. She's smart, she's funny, and she didn't give you half as many lectures and problems that I did. She's also wizard-born instead of Muggle, and she seems like the kind of person you would have settled down with."

Harry nodded as he pulled out a cigarette and lit it. "She was," he agreed, exhaling smoke with the words. "When I was fifteen. At that age, Ginny would have been the one and only for the rest of my life, but then everything changed. All that stuff happened that led up to the end of the war and all that stuff that happened with you and I became a _completely_ different person, Hermione. I didn't want my number one fan any more. I didn't want someone who was going to worship me. You are the only girl who has treated me like a person instead of a hero."

"Oh, I wouldn't say that, Harry," Hermione argued. "I treated you like a hero, just like everyone else. I just didn't do it the same _way_ the rest of the world did."

"Well, you did have an actual reason," Harry said, taking a sip of his beer and a drag from his cigarette. "I have saved your life from time to time. Anyway, on to the new, shall we?" he asked. "I spend eighty galleons every week to talk about the past to a shrink, I don't much feel like going into it all right now too."

"You're seeing a therapist?" Hermione asked, shocked.

Harry sighed. "Yes," he said. "And every time the poor bastard tries to talk about the things I tell him to anyone but me, he suddenly forgets I even exist. How are you doing?"

Hermione was stunned speechless by the abrupt change in conversation. "W-w-what?" she stammered.

"How are you?" Harry repeated, more slowly.

"Suddenly really confused," Hermione replied honestly before she took a sip of her beer. "How much did we lie to each other the last few years?" she nearly whispered.

Harry sighed. "When I find the answer, I'll let you know," he promised. "I just...I never wanted you to know how badly your leaving effected me. I figured that if you believed I was fine, I really would be."

Hermione reached across the table for Harry's hand as he finished off his cigarette and put it out. "I felt the same way," she said softly. "Like if you never knew how much it hurt or how much I cried for you, we could both be okay someday."

Harry let out a bitter chuckle. "Looks like we were both wrong," he said.

"What happened with you and Ron?" Hermione asked.

Harry sighed and lit up another cigarette. "I'd rather not talk about it," he said.

"Harry..."

Harry sighed again and took his hand from Hermione to run through his hair. "About two years ago, Ron and I were caught up over the same woman," Harry said. "She played us both for fools and then showed her true colors. Her mother had been a Death Eater and she wanted to bring back those glory days by becoming the next dark wizard or something. Ron and I found her and everything came out. We found out she'd been with us both and that the only reason she'd been with either of us was to break down our defenses and sneak through the walls to become the things we feared most. Ron tried to save her after the fighting started. I killed her and almost destroyed his leg in the process. He hasn't quite forgiven me. Charley kept me up on what was going on. He'd tell me the things that the family didn't want me to know about and things like that. He and I became pretty good friends during that period and eventually, he's the reason Ginny came around."

"So that's what he meant by keeping you his dirty little secret?" Hermione asked.

Harry nodded. "That's what he meant..."


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: Sorry about the long wait. Things have been quite hectic on the personal front. The chapter's a little on the short side, but the next one will make up for that, or at least I hope it will. So, with no further adieu, chapter seven of I Still Love You!**

The morning found Harry and Hermione standing in the Auror Department at the Ministry of Magic. Harry kept a tight grip on Hermione's hand as he walked her through the various cubicles and desks to a door at the back of the room. All around them, the other Aurors stood to stare at the couple in shock. Harry did his best to ignore all of them as he raised his hand to knock on the door of his boss' office.

"Come in," a young woman's voice called out.

Harry opened the door, ignoring Hermione's look of confusion. He nodded as he ushered Hermione into the office and closed the door behind them.

Hermione stared at the woman in shock. She was as blonde as Luna Lovegood had been but her eyes were as sharp and brown as Hermione's.

"This her?" the woman asked.

Harry nodded. "Jonica Adams, meet Hermione Granger," he said. "Hermione, this is my boss, Jonica Adams."

"Nice to meet you," Hermione said, holding out her hand.

"Yeah, you too," Jonica Adams said before she put a few papers in Hermione's hand. "No time for chit chat, Doll. Write out what happened and give it all to Potter. He'll do the rest of his job once you do your bit. You can use his desk."

"Jonica," Harry sighed.

Jonica shook her head, sending her light blonde hair flying. "Nope," she said. "I don't want to hear it. You took off yesterday and that means I've got a load of work waiting for you. Your girlfriend can use your desk while I go over some of the stuff that's in need of your attention. Got it?" Harry nodded. "Good. Now show the lovely lady to your desk and come back in here."

Harry sighed and nodded before he wrapped his arm around Hermione's waist and escorted her out of the office.

Harry gestured for Hermione to sit at a vacant desk and handed her a quill and ink before he grudgingly stalked back to the office. Hermione sighed as she looked at the forms she'd been given to fill out. She slowly dipped the tip of the quill into the ink jar and started writing out her information. As she wrote she glanced up at the occasional whisper from one of the other Aurors and finally noticed the picture sitting on Harry's desk.

Hermione felt her heart sink to the pits of her stomach. She remembered that day and had thought he would have wanted to forget all about it. She, Harry, and Ron stood outside of the Weasleys' house waving their diplomas. Occasionally photo-Harry would lean in and kiss photo-Hermione, just the same way he had that day. That had been the day Hermione had finally walked away from him. The day she had told him that she wanted to leave him because she didn't love him any more.

Hermione reached out and touched the photograph with trembling fingers. A cough from somewhere above her head made her jerk her hand back and look up to see a red-faced man standing on the other side of Harry's cubicle.

"You the one who calls him all the time?" he asked.

"I'm sure there are a lot of people who call him," Hermione nervously replied.

The man above her head chuckled. "Sure," he said. "There's the girlfriend who's always calling him every twenty minutes to tell him what he needs to bring home from work — usually some form of takeout or something. There's the dragon guy who keeps calling him to remind him that there's nothing to worry about and that everything's going to be alright. And then there's the mysterious woman who calls every Wednesday that makes Potter look at that photo like it's his whole entire universe. Since you're the girl in the picture, you've gotta be Wednesday Woman. Are you?"

Hermione sighed and ran her hand through her hair. "Yes," she said softly.

The man smiled. "Nice to meet you, Wednesday Woman, I'm Rigel Black," he said as he stuck out his hand. Hermione reached up and shook it, noticing that this young man had a slight resemblance to Sirius. "Yes, before you ask it, I'm part of _the_ Black family. Illegitimate son. Forgotten too, after Daddy went to prison."

Hermione gasped. "You're Sirius' son?" she asked.

Rigel nodded. "Indeed I am, Wednesday Woman," he said with that smirk that painfully reminded Hermione of Harry's godfather. "He and my mum were going to get married but then all that stuff happened in Godric's Hollow and he ended up going to Azkaban before she could tell him about me. Enough about me, though," he said. "So you're the one who got away are you?" he asked.

Hermione shrugged. "I suppose," she said. "I came back though..."

"You mean Potter's finally gotten rid of that daft woman he's been letting live with him?" Rigel asked. "Merlin things really can change overnight, can't they? Any-who, I better let you get finished with that statement. Don't tell Potter I bugged you. I'll never hear the end of it."

Hermione chuckled and nodded. "Alright," she said with a smile.

Rigel smirked and tossed a crumpled piece of parchment across the room. "Oy! Tanner! You owe me smokes!"

"Dammit!" came a call from across the room. Rigel laughed as he sat back down, leaving Hermione to the illusion of seclusion the cubicle provided her.

….

Twenty minutes later, Harry sighed as he sat down in a chair he'd pulled over to Hermione. "How's it coming?" he asked.

"I'm almost finished," Hermione replied. "Do you have a lot of work to do?"

Harry shrugged. "No more than usual," he said. "I've got a bit extra because of this case and I have to write out my own statement. They've put Malfoy on it as the lead investigator. Adams says I'm too close to the case for me to head it up even though it's already closed."

"So does that mean you're going to be busy for the next little while?" she asked.

Harry nodded. "Most likely," he said. "Do you need to go back to work soon?" he asked.

Hermione sighed. "I should," she said. "I've got some catching up to do since I took yesterday off. In all honesty, I'd rather have a few more days off..."

"Understandable," Harry said with a smirk. "I have to admit, I'm almost afraid to let you out of my sight again," he said.

Hermione gave him a sad smile. "I'm not going to disappear on you again," she promised.

Harry chuckled. "I don't know that though," he said. He looked at the photo on his desk and Hermione followed his gaze. "Of all of the pictures you have of the three of us, why is it that one on your desk?" she asked softly. "I would have thought you wouldn't have wanted to be reminded of that day."

"Just because that's the day you walked away from me and broke my heart doesn't mean I don't want to remember the feeling of that moment," Harry said, sitting on the edge of his desk. "The three of us were truly happy when we were standing out in front of the Burrow then. Diplomas in hand, we were going to conquer the world and make it a better place to be. I had a ring in my pocket that was supposed to make me the happiest man in the world and the two people who meant more to me in this world than anything else had survived and were still by my side."

"What did the ring look like?" Hermione asked.

Harry chuckled and pushed Hermione's chair to the side so he could open a drawer. He pulled out a slightly tattered velvet box and opened it before he showed Hermione the ring inside. Hermione gasped for two reasons. The first was that Harry had held on to the ring after four years. The second was that Hermione thought it was one of the most beautiful rings she had ever seen in her entire life and she suddenly cursed her younger self for not realizing what she had meant to him all those years ago. She looked at Harry with tears in her eyes and saw her feelings reflected in him. "You still have it?" she whispered.

Harry pulled Hermione close and kissed her cheek lovingly. "I told you," he said softly, "you're the only person I want to be with. I couldn't let go that easily."

"Seeing as every time you called, he'd pull the ring out of the drawer too, it made us all wonder," Rigel said from above their heads. Harry and Hermione looked up and Harry glared.

"Don't you have work to do?" Harry asked.

Rigel smirked. "Last time I checked, nope," he said. "Besides, who can work with the two of you finally reunited after all these years? It'd be like missing the greatest story in a century. If I were a reporter, I'd be all over you two right now. I can already see the headlines," Rigel continued. "Harry Potter, Boy Who Lived, Reunited With Soul Mate After Four Years Long Separation," he said as he waved his hand through the air dramatically.

"Shove off, Black," Harry muttered, standing fully to push Rigel away.

Rigel fell into his chair and looked up at Harry indignantly. "Asshole," he muttered.

Harry raised an eyebrow. "Cocksucker," he replied.

Rigel grinned broadly. "Damn straight," he said proudly. "Or gay, whichever you prefer. Still waiting for you to give me the time of day..."

Harry made a face of distaste. "I'll pass," he said before he returned to resting against the desk. Rigel immediately stood and watched the two Gryffindors once more, desperate to see the outcome of the situation.

Hermione gave Harry a smile before she looked back at the ring she held in her hands. After a few seconds, she looked back up at Harry. "If you ask me, you know I'll say yes, don't you?" she asked.

Harry sighed and took the ring from Hermione. He stared at it for a moment before he closed the box and handed it back to her. "Do I?" he asked as she took the small velvet box. "It took a lot of convincing just to get you to agree to be with me again," he reminded her. "The last time I tried to ask you to marry me, you left me. I don't want to go through that again. I _can't_ go through that again."

Hermione sighed. "Well, I don't plan on running away again," she vowed. "Whenever you're ready, the answer's yes."

Harry gave Hermione a shadow of his usual grin before he pulled her close for a kiss.

"Ask her already!" Rigel cried. Harry took his wand from his pocket and pointed it at his fellow Auror. Rigel immediately sat down, but he moved his chair around the short divider to keep an eye on the situation. Harry returned his wand to his pocket without caring that the others gathered around him had their attention solely focused on the pair without even bothering to try to hide the fact.

Harry held Hermione's face in his hands for a moment before he kissed her again. "I need more time," he said softly. "If that's okay..."

Hermione nodded. "That's okay too," she whispered.

**AN: So don't forget to review, ok?**


	8. Chapter 8

Days passed in a blur. Weeks melted into each other. The illusion of a routine fell into place for Harry and Hermione and the pretense of happiness spread to those around them. Weekends found them with friends until late in the evening, Wednesdays were the days Hermione called Harry at work just to see how he was doing, and slowly but surely Harry's house was filling up with Hermione's things. Life seemed to be perfect.

They were eating dinner at Harry's with a few friends. Anita and Oliver Wood sat together on one side of the table, Draco and Cassiopeia Marcus sat on another side, Charley and Isabella Green sat on a third, and Harry and Hermione brought up the fourth.

They were halfway through dinner and three-quarter's of the way through the wine when the phone rang. Laughing at a joke from Charley, Harry stood and left the room to answer it. Hermione watched him as he stood in the hallway and slowly stood when she saw him react to news that, clearly, wasn't good.

Noticing immediately, Anita looked first at Hermione and then craned her neck to see Harry in the hallway. "Uh-oh," Anita whispered, reaching for Hermione's clenched hand as it rest on the edge of the table. Anita's reaction alerted the others to a problem.

"You know, I think I have stuff that I need to get done," Draco slowly began as he stood up and reached for Cassie's hand. "Come along, love...it's time to...time to go."

Cassie nodded as she allowed Draco to pull her to her feet. She put a hand on Hermione's shoulder. "Don't take this the wrong way, Hermione," she said. Hermione mutely nodded. "Tell Harry that we're sorry we left early once he calms down." Again, Hermione mutely nodded.

Anita sighed, squeezing Hermione's hand. "You want me to stay?" she asked.

Hermione shook her head and cleared her throat. "No," she said. "You guys go on, don't let the night be spoiled on our account. I'll get Harry through this, no matter what it is."

Anita nodded and let go of Hermione's hand before she and Oliver followed Draco and Cassie's footsteps toward the door. Charley looked at his wife and sighed. "Go on," he said softly, kissing her cheek. "Check on the twins and all that. I think I know what this is about."

Isabella nodded and stood, placing her napkin down on the table. She gave Hermione a smile before she, too, followed the others out. Hermione looked at Charley. "You think you know what this is about?" she asked as Harry finally put the phone back down. Hermione's eyes moved back to her boyfriend as he walked into the dining room and stood in the doorway, radiating fury.

"Why didn't you say something?" Harry coldly demanded, his eyes on the back of Charley's head.

Charley sighed. "She was supposed to tell you herself," he said. "Did she?" he asked.

"No," Harry spat. "Ron was just on the phone."

Charley sighed. "I don't know what to tell you, mate," he said. "She made me swear on my kids' lives that I wouldn't tell you no matter what. She made it clear that _she_ was going to tell you, albeit that was three days ago."

"What are you talking about?" Hermione asked, looking from one man to the other, clearly confused.

"You should talk to her about it, Harry," Charley said as he stood, facing Harry for the first time since the Auror had gotten off of the phone. "Maybe the three of you can figure out what to do next."

Harry shook his head. "Get out," he said coldly. "You took her side a month and a half ago because you're her brother, you can take her side now because you're her brother. Get out."

Charley nodded. "No problem," he said softly. "Let me know when you're ready to forgive me."

Harry nodded. "Sure," he said shortly. "Right after hell freezes over."

Charley sighed, shaking his head. Without another word, he walked towards the front door. Once they heard it shut, Harry went for the cigarettes he'd kept in the kitchen. Hermione followed him. "Harry?" Hermione asked.

Harry lit a cigarette and met Hermione's eyes for the first time since he'd gotten off of the phone. "If I tell you something, do you _swear_ you won't leave me?" he asked. Hermione could see the cigarette shaking between his fingers. He took a deep drag as he waited for her to answer. "Please," he whispered when she didn't respond.

"Just tell me what that call was about, Harry," Hermione said. "What's so bad that you think I might leave you?"

Harry took another drag and ran his free hand through his hair. "I need..." he hissed a string of curses that would have made any mother reach for the soap. "Tell me that you'll try if you won't promise me that you won't leave me for telling you this, Hermione," Harry begged, gazing at her with watery green eyes. Hermione felt as though a fist had just clenched around her heart. "I have to tell you but I'm afraid of..."

"Of me leaving?" Hermione asked. Harry numbly nodded. Hermione sighed and stepped up to the Boy Who Lived. She kissed his cheek. "Nothing I can think of will make me leave you," she promised.

"Then you haven't thought of this," Harry whispered.

"Harry, just tell me what it is!" Hermione cried. "What did Ron say on the phone that has you this upset?"

Harry took another drag from his cigarette before he moved away from Hermione. "Ginny's..." he sighed heavily. "Ginny's pregnant," he said. "She's not supposed to be, but she is. She fucking told me that she was taking potions! She—_FUCK!_" Harry screamed suddenly, throwing his cigarette into the empty sink. Hermione jumped, but Harry wasn't finished. He aimed a kick at the bottom cupboards, slamming them hard enough that they bounced open before slamming shut again. Hermione managed to bite back the scream of her shock and sudden fear. She remembered Harry's rages. She didn't remember them being like this.

"My god," Hermione whispered, suddenly shaking from head to toe and feeling as though she wanted to throw up. She moved to the small kitchen table and sat down, reaching for Harry's cigarettes. "God..."

Harry slumped down to the floor. He buried his face in his hands before he screamed with pain and rage filling his voice. His shoulders shook as the scream ended. "This can't be happening," he hoarsely muttered.

Hermione swallowed the lump in her throat and took a drag from the cigarette to calm her shattered nerves. "I know you probably don't want to hear this, but maybe you and Ginny..."

"NO!" Harry shouted, meeting Hermione's gaze. "Do _not_ tell me to try to make things work with her, Hermione!" he cried, standing up and going after a new cigarette. He lit it before he continued. "I can't _stand_ her! I can't stand being around her any more! I'll do what I have to for the kid, but I'm not—_dammit! _I'm not going back to her! Not again! Especially since I know that's what she's going to want most of all! She's tried everything to trap me into marrying her, Hermione, and I should have expected this too but—dammit, I was hoping she wouldn't! I'm _not_ doing this again!"

"Harry, this is your _child!_" Hermione cried, standing up. She felt tears sting her eyes and fought not to let them fall. "A life _you_ created! You can't run from that!"

"I'm not!" Harry shouted. He angrily brought his cigarette to his mouth again before he flicked the cherry off into the ashtray. He swore as he re-lit the cigarette and sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose as though he had a headache. "I'm not running from the situation, Hermione," he said in a calm voice. "Regardless of the facts, I will _not_ be with Ginny. I can be a father _without_ being with her. "

Hermione sighed and put out her own cigarette, realizing that it had burned most of itself away. "I don't think that I can be a step-mother, Harry," Hermione whispered. "I can't be reminded every time I see that child that Ginny was able to give you what was stolen from me... I just...I don't think I can face that."

"Hermione, I can't do this without you," Harry whispered, reaching for her hand.

Hermione pulled away, leaving Harry looking at her with a devastated look in his eyes. "I need some time, Harry," she said softly. "I love you, and I always will, but I don't know if I can do this and, until I do, I need to step back. I need to take myself out of the equation for a little while."

Harry felt a tear fall down his cheek. Hermione felt her heart shatter. "Do you have to leave right now?" he asked.

Hermione slowly nodded. "I think that would be best," she said softly. "I'm sorry, Harry," she whispered.

Harry nodded. "I should have known," he whispered, shaking his head as he pulled something out of his pocket. "Lock the door on your way out, will you?" he asked before he walked passed Hermione, tossing something onto the table as he moved. Hermione's eyes found the small velvet box and she couldn't hold back the sob that escaped her. She reached for the box and slowly opened it, seeing a new ring. She heard a door open and close as she closed the box and clenched it tightly in her hand. "FUCK!" she shouted before she put the box back down on the table and ran for the door.

… … … …

Hermione wondered London for hours with tears streaming down her face. Everywhere she went, couples seemed to be congregating, most of them near her age, many of them with small children. It almost felt to Hermione like some higher power was either shoving in her face the experience she would never have, or the one she _could_ have, if she just turned around and went back to the man she loved. Her heart seemed to ache in a very physical way. If she was only taking herself out of the equation to give herself time to figure out her end of things, why did it feel like the world had suddenly ended?

Would he go back to her if Hermione decided she couldn't do it? Would he cave and give into Ginny's demands? Just because he said he wouldn't, didn't mean that he would actually follow through with not going back. After all, Hermione herself had promised to stay with Harry, that if he asked her she would say yes, and yet she was walking the streets of London, avoiding her own flat, because she couldn't keep that promise. She should turn around and go back. She knew she should. He needed her to be there. He'd said he needed her. She'd walked away. Walked away as if the things Harry needed couldn't possibly compare to the things Hermione needed.

But could she actually do it? Could she play part-time mommy to a child that looked like Ginny? Could she even hope to love a child that was half of Harry's but not half Hermione's?

Hermione's eyes caught a man lighting a cigarette on the sidewalk. She quickened her pace and stepped up to him. "Excuse me," she said. "May I bum a cigarette from you?"

"Sure," the man said. He took a cigarette out for Hermione and handed it to her before he looked at her more closely. "Don't I know you?" he asked.

Hermione stared at the stranger for a moment. "I don't think so," she said.

"Sure, you're the Grangers' daughter, aren't you?" he asked. "I heard you got into this massively expensive, totally elite boarding school a thousand years ago," he said with a smile. "Doubt you even remember me after all that."

Hermione looked more closely at the man she'd chosen to ask for a cigarette as she lit it. The eyes seemed familiar to her, as did the nose and the hair. "Justin?" she asked. "Justin Banks?"

The man nodded. "So did you become a teacher?" he asked. "You used to say you always wanted to do that."

Hermione shook her head. "I found a passion for law," she said. "Equal rights and things like that. Most of what I do is behind the scenes so it's not likely that I'll ever become known for it, but that's really not what's important any more. What about you?" she asked. "Didn't you want to become a police officer?"

Justin nodded. "Sure did," he said with a smile. "I got my ass handed to me at the academy though. Met my wife while I was trying to figure out if I was above fast food or not. She surprised the hell out of me when I found out she had a son. But it's good. He's a good kid even though his father's a complete dead-beat. He calls me dad these days."

"Do you have one of your own?" Hermione asked.

Justin shook his head. "Nope," he said. "Sarah can't have any more, she had a bad miscarriage after Doug was born. But I have Doug so that's just fine by me."

Hermione reached up to brush away a stray tear that had begun to fall. How could this man love some other man's child as though it were his own?

"Are you okay?" Justin asked. "You're...crying..."

Hermione shook her head. "No, I'm far from okay," she said with a thick voice. "I need some advice from someone who's been here and done what you did," she said softly. "Can you help me?" she asked.

Justin shrugged. "Sure," he said. "How about we pop over to the park and have a sit?" he asked. "I've been on my feet all day and they're killing me. I could use a rest."

Hermione nodded. "Okay," she said as they started walking.

… … … …

Ten minutes later, Justin sighed heavily. "That's quite the story there, Hermione," he said. "So this guy you're dating is someone you've dated in the past, but you broke up with him because you found out that you can't have kids. Then, four years later, you decide to give it another shot and his ex just found out that she's pregnant? That's not anything like what Sarah and I went through," Justin muttered, shaking his head. He took two fresh cigarettes from his pack and handed one to Hermione. "See, Doug was already a year and a half when I met Sarah. He was almost twenty months when I met him. That was three years ago. I backed away from Sarah for a bit, but I realized it didn't matter to me if she had a kid by someone else or not. At least it was a kid that we could raise together, you know?" he asked. "This was after she'd told me that she couldn't have kids because we'd actually talked about that before I found out about Doug. So, you're really not losing here unless you give up on the chance to try," he said. "You leave this bloke now and you're throwing away more than a decade of your life. You said you've known him since boarding school, right?" he asked.

Hermione nodded, lighting her cigarette. She nodded as she slowly exhaled. "He was one of my first friends," she said softly. "In a way, he actually _was_ my first friend there. He never seemed to have a problem with me and, if he did, he kept it to himself. He looked out for me all through school, especially when we started dating. Then we spent a year traveling and..." Hermione sighed and took a drag from her cigarette as Justin took one from his. "His first child would have been mine," Hermione whispered. "But there was an accident. That's why I can't have children. So I left him because he's an orphan and he always wanted a big family, you know?" she asked, glancing at Justin. He slowly nodded. "Now...I just don't know that I can do this..."

"You won't know until you try," Justin replied. He nudged Hermione. "Go back to the man and tell him that you'll at least be there for him until he figures out what's going on," he said. "He's probably not sure what the hell to do right now unless he's out getting drunk at a random pub. Or you can even give it a night and call him in the morning. Do something, Hermione. Something _other than _running away from something like this."

Hermione nodded and stood. "Thank you, Justin," she said with a sad smile. "I think I'll sleep on it tonight and call him in the morning."

Justin smiled. "Sounds like a plan," he said. "Something tells me I won't be seeing you around," he said.

Hermione shook her head. "Probably not," she said softly. "But it was good to see you again. I'm really glad I asked you for a cigarette."

Justin chuckled. "Sarah keeps telling me that they'll kill me someday," he said. "Course, that isn't stopping her from smoking just as much."

Hermione laughed and started to walk away. "Bye, Justin," she said with a wave.

"Bye, Hermione!" Justin called back from the bench.

**AN: So a shout-out to Sue for calling this one in the reviews! Of course it's not going to be easy! Anyway, review so I know how I'm doing ok? **


	9. Chapter 9

Hermione forced herself to smile when she walked into her apartment and saw Anita sitting at the window with a cigarette, cup of coffee, and her cell phone. The smile, Hermione knew, didn't fool anyone. Least of all Anita.

"What the hell happened?" Anita demanded, jumping up and putting her phone down on the table next to the ashtray. Hermione had the feeling that Anita had been holding on to it in the hopes that she would call.

"Ginny's pregnant," Hermione said with a rough voice. She felt the tears in her eyes again and Anita suddenly understood. She and Hermione rushed to each other and hugged as Hermione burst into tears. Hermione cried on her best friend's shoulder, mumbling incoherently and begging for everything to be a nightmare.

Anita simply held on as Hermione broke down. She tightly closed her eyes and bowed her head as her own tears fell in sympathy to Hermione's pain. Anita knew that, more than anything, the thing Hermione wanted most of all was to be a mother. The thing that gave her the most pain was the knowledge that it would never happen. To have this thrown in her face...Anita knew her best friend was going to need a gigantic tub of ice cream, some hard liquor, and assurance.

"I don't know what to do," Hermione cried between hiccups. "God, I don't know what to do!"

"You don't have to decide anything right now," Anita said softly. She loosened her hold on Hermione so she could meet her best friend's eyes. "What did Harry say?" she asked.

Hermione shook her head. "He said this wasn't supposed to have happened," she said. "That Ginny had been taking potions to keep it from happening. He said that he didn't want anything to do with her but that he'd be there for the baby. And that he couldn't do it without me..."

"The man loves you," Anita said softly, brushing away Hermione's tears. "No one can blame him for that. You're the biggest influence on his life."

"But how am I supposed to be a stepmother to a child that I already feel like I want to hate because it isn't and never will be mine?" she cried. "How am I supposed to smile and pretend to love a kid that I had no part in creating when that's all I want?" she asked. "I wanted to give up _everything_ to be with Harry until the day we both died and give him a dozen kids because he wanted the big family he never got to have growing up. I wanted that for me as well as him and it'll never happen because of Bellatrix! If I could go back, I'd kill her again!"

"Once wasn't enough then?" Anita asked. "You got to hold the wand and shout the curse but you want to do it again?"

"It's not about that," Hermione sighed. She stepped away from Anita and went to the kitchen. She pulled the vodka down from one cupboard and a glass from another. She poured the vodka into the glass before she went to the fridge. She got ice and shoved it into the glass and then poured orange juice on top. "I want her to hurt the way she made me hurt," Hermione said before she took a drink. "I want her to know the kind of hell she's put me through."

"Too bad she's dead then," Anita said. "Though I have to tell you I'm really glad for that."

Hermione glanced at Anita before she took a large drink from the screwdriver. "Can I do this?" she asked, not looking up.

Anita sighed and moved to her cigarettes. She pulled one out and lit it up. "I think you need to call your mother," she said. "Ask her for some advice."

"You didn't answer my question," Hermione muttered.

Anita sighed again. "Do I think you can do it?" she asked. Hermione nodded. "Absolutely," she said, causing Hermione to look up in shock. "I think you can do it better than anyone else. You can stand by Harry and show him that there are still things worth living for in this crazy, fucked up world that he saved. You can teach his kids that even when the cards are on the table and you're going to lose, you should still fight. I first met you on a gurney, Hermione," Anita said, walking into the kitchen to fix a drink of her own. She took a drink before she continued, eyes on Hermione. "You don't remember that day, but I do. And Harry does. He carried you in to St. Mungo's dressed in rags with blood and dirt and grime covering your entire body. When I met you, you were almost in a coma, you were malnourished, thirty pounds underweight, and hanging on by a thread. I had to pour potion after potion down your throat, cast spell after spell, and you weren't responding. I worked for _hours_ to keep you alive, begging you not to die the entire time I was trying to save you. I'm the person who had to tell you that you were probably never going to be the mum you want so desperately to be, Hermione," Anita said softly, a fire in her eyes that spoke of a conviction Hermione couldn't even begin to comprehend. "You have the chance to help raise this child the way you and Harry would have raised the one Bellatrix stole from you because you refused to betray the man you love. You were tortured for loving him in the war. This is going to be _nothing_ compared to that and this had better not be where your story ends. You two are the couple of a century. It would be tragic to see it fall apart now."

Hermione was silent for a minute, fighting more tears. She drank more of her screwdriver and bowed her head. "Today I ran into someone I haven't seen since I was eleven," she whispered. "He's married now and their only child isn't his... He's never going to have a child of his own but he loves that little boy like he's the only reason Justin goes on. I asked him how he does it. How he wakes up in the morning and kisses the boy goodbye, seeing some other man in the kid's face... He said that it didn't matter if Doug was his son after a while. He was the boy's dad even if he hadn't been the one to create him." Hermione sighed and polished off the last of her screwdriver. As she put the cup on the counter, she realized something Anita had said in her speech. "Hold on," she said, turning to her room mate. "What do you mean _probably_ never going to be a mother?" she asked. "In the hospital, you told me that I would never have a child of my own. Why are you changing your mind now?"

Anita shook her head. "I told you that you were almost infertile," she said. "I _also_ told you that the scaring on your uterus would make you a high-risk pregnancy if it ever happened. You _can_ get pregnant if you try hard enough. It's a ninety-five percent chance that you _won't_, but it could still happen."

Hermione sighed. "You might as well say there's no chance," she said softly. "My family isn't a very fertile one to begin with, on either side. It's rare that anyone has more than one or two children. Numbers and odds haven't been too good for me since I got my Hogwarts letter. The fact that I survived the war at all was because Harry was a variable in the equation. The last card I had to play..."

"Maybe he'll be a variable in this equation too," Anita said softly, placing her hand on Hermione's shoulder. "You won't know until you try, so don't give up on him. Don't run away when he needs you this badly."

Hermione sighed and nodded. "Mind if I get a cigarette from you?" she asked.

Anita chuckled and handed Hermione the pack from her pocket. "At this rate, you're going to be one of us," she said. "I thought the goal was to get Harry to stop smoking, not you to start."

Hermione shrugged and lit the cigarette. "It makes me feel better," she said softly, speaking through the smoke.

Anita laughed. "Yep. You're going to be one of us."

… … … …

Hermione nervously reached up to knock on Harry's door, despite the fact that she had a key in her pocket. After last night, she knew she couldn't just waltz in and expect to be welcomed. She wouldn't even blame him if he slammed the door in her face. After all, she _had_ promised to stand by him no matter what.

The door opened and Harry stood in shock for a few seconds before he grabbed Hermione and held her tightly. "You came back," he whispered in her ear.

"I came back," Hermione whispered back.

Harry sighed and let Hermione go. "Ginny's here," he said. "We needed to talk about things so she came over. Do you want to join us?" he asked. Hermione recognized it as his way of asking if she was going to stick around or flee. After a moment's hesitation, she nodded. Harry smiled and stepped aside to let her in. Once he closed the door, but before they left the foyer, Harry hugged her again, kissing her deeply. "Don't do this to me again, please," he softly begged.

Hermione kissed Harry's cheek. "I'll try not to," she promised. "I just had to process some things before I could face this."

Harry nodded. "I get it," he said. "Are they processed?"

Hermione nodded. "We'll talk about it later," she promised. Harry nodded and they kissed once more before he took her hand in his and led her to the kitchen, where Ginny sat with a glass of orange juice. Harry, Hermione noticed, was drinking beer. At eleven in the morning. "Mind if I get something to drink?" she asked.

Harry nodded as though Hermione had suddenly lost her mind. "You know you can help yourself to whatever," he replied before he took a sip from his beer and turned back to Ginny. As Hermione moved to the cupboard for a glass, she heard him ask, "So you said it's a girl?"

Hermione stood at the counter and bowed her head, glass sitting on the counter in front of her. She took in a deep, calming breath and slowly let it out before she moved to the fridge for the juice she knew was in there.

"Yes," Ginny said. "And you're either with me for the whole nine, or you won't be a part of her life and I will expect at least three hundred galleons a month from you to help me take care of her."

Hermione froze at the counter once more. Harry had always wanted a family and here was his chance for one. Was he going to pass it up because he didn't want to be with Ginny, or was he going to take her offer to be in his daughter's life?

"Then I'll send you the first three hundred after she's born," Harry said simply.

Hermione turned and she and Ginny both simply stared at Harry in shock and disbelief. He had just elected to stay out of the life of his own daughter. Hermione remembered when he had berated Remus for trying to stay away from Tonks and Teddy. How Harry could suddenly do the opposite of what he had said to Remus simply blew Hermione's mind.

"Are you bloody serious?" Ginny demanded. "You're going to make me raise your daughter on my own?"

"No," Harry said simply. He glanced at Hermione before looking back at Ginny. "I'm not going to _make_ you do anything. I'm also not going to let you trap me into something. I'm not going to be your one-and-only, Ginny. I have my own. If these are your terms, I'll make the choice to not be a part of her life. If you don't want to raise her by yourself, then I will. I'm not running from her, but I'm not going to be with you either. So decide. What's going to happen next, Ginny?"

Ginny sighed and stared at her drink for a moment before she met Harry's eyes again. "Do you want her?" she asked.

Harry sighed and shook his head, running his hands through his hair. "I don't know, Ginny," he said softly. "This wasn't supposed to happen..."

"Well it did happen," Ginny spat. "And I don't want her. I was just going to abort and not tell you but then Ron got involved and spilled the beans for me. After I talked to you last night, I decided that I'd wait to see what you had to say. I wanted to know how badly you wanted that family you always said you've been looking forward to. If you want her, take her. If not, I'm calling St. Mungo's in the morning."

Hermione gasped. "How could you do that?" she whispered. "Kill an unborn child? Ginny, this isn't like you!"

"What the fuck do you know?" Ginny demanded, turning in her chair to be able to see Hermione. "For three fucking years, you hardly spoke to me. This last year, _this_ is the second time I've seen or spoken to you and the first was _five weeks ago!_ You stole the love of my life, Hermione Granger. You crushed my goddamn heart and now you want _me _to be sympathetic because _you_ can't have a fucking kid?" Ginny stood. "Go fuck yourself, Granger," she spat. "I'll give the kid to Bill if I don't get what I want. She'll be raised a Weasley and taught to hate the two of you."

"Then I'm taking her from you," Harry said with a rough voice. "If you're going to treat her as a tool and teach her to hate, I _will_ take her from you. And Hermione's right, Gin. This _isn't_ like you. What the hell has gotten into you?"

"A parasite?" Ginny guessed before she let out a sound that was somewhere between a laugh and a sob. She seemed to collapse back into the chair she'd been sitting on and buried her face in her hands. "I'm scared," she confessed. "I don't know how to do this. I don't know what to do! I figured that if I gave you those demands, you'd come back to me but it didn't work. You're still choosing Hermione over everyone else and I hate you both because of it." She shook her head. "And I still love you so much," she whispered. "I thought that if I got pregnant you'd finally marry me. It wasn't supposed to happen this way..."

"This isn't love, Ginny," Harry said softly. "It's not love you're feeling. It's infatuation. Obsession. If you honestly loved me, you wouldn't have tried so hard to hurt and trap me. You'd let me be a part of our daughter's life _without_ the strings. You'd be happy that I found happiness, even though it's not with you. Not to mention _you _would have been the one to tell me about this, not Ron. You're hurting us all by doing this, Ginny. You, me, Hermione, and our daughter. Not to mention that you've been lying to me for I don't know how long!"

"Lied to you?" Ginny asked. "When have I _ever_ lied to you?"

"When did you stop taking the contraceptive potions?" Harry asked.

Ginny sighed and placed her hand over her stomach. "Two months ago," she whispered. "I just thought..."

"You just proved my point," Harry said before he polished off his beer. He stood and put it into the trash can before he went to the window and pulled it open. He moved his chair to it and sat down, lighting up a cigarette. Hermione wanted nothing more than to join him.

"Split custody then," Ginny whispered. "We'll figure out the details later."

"Then I want a magically binding contract," Harry agreed. "Terms and conditions agreed upon _before_ she's born."

Ginny nodded and wiped away stray tears. "Okay," she said. "I'm sorry...I guess I'm just really hormonal right now."

Harry nodded, blowing smoke out towards the open window. "I'd imagine so," he agreed.

Ginny slowly stood. "I should go," she said. "I'll be in touch."

Harry nodded. "Okay," he said simply. He didn't offer to walk Ginny out or shake her hand, give her a hug, or anything else that may have followed the conversation the two of them had just had. Hermione sighed as she walked to the table and sat down, a glass of juice in her hand. She picked up Harry's cigarettes and pulled one out for herself. "Ready for more talking?" she asked.

Harry bitterly laughed. "Why not?" he muttered.


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: This chapter gets a little smutty at the end, but the beginning is totally worth reading if you're in a mind to skip the sex. Sorry it's a little bit on the short side, but the next few chapters are going to get a little wild and maybe that'll make up for it. ^_^ Enjoy!**

For a while, both Harry and Hermione sat at the kitchen table in silence. Though each would occasionally sigh, neither knew what to say. Hermione had thought of dozens of ways to begin the conversation over the course of her sleepless night and sluggish morning, but now nothing came to mind. Finally, it was Harry who spoke as he put his cigarette out in the ashtray.

"So you wanted to talk?" he asked.

Hermione nodded and cleared her throat before she took a sip of her juice. She took one last drag from her cigarette before she put it out. "I did a lot of thinking after I left last night," she said. "I thought about what I went through four years ago when I left you and I don't want to go through that again. I don't want you to go through it again either. If there's one thing this world has taught me, it's that life is short and if we don't jump when we have the chance, we might not get it again. I don't want to miss another four years of your life," she said softly. "I don't want to be the only woman in the world who gives up on Harry Potter despite how much he loves her..."

Harry reached across the table for Hermione's hand. He squeezed it tightly for a few seconds before letting her go. "You never gave up on me, Hermione," he said. "You convinced yourself that I wouldn't want to be with you because you couldn't have children without stopping to think that that might not matter. I might be thick and a little slow sometimes, but I'm not that shallow."

Hermione nodded. "I know that," she said. "I knew that then too, but I wanted you to have everything you'd wanted. It felt like I'd only be standing in the way if I'd stayed. Now...the thought of you not being there in the morning kills me. The thought that if I can't do this and walk away...you won't be there after that and it makes me cry. It reminds me of that little story I've seen written in cards and things..."

"What story?" Harry asked.

Hermione chuckled. "'A girl walks up to a boy and asks him, 'Do you like me?' He replies, 'No.' Saddened, she asks him 'Do you think I'm pretty?' Again, he says no. She tries once more and asks, 'If I were to walk away, would you cry?' The boy says no. Saying that she'd heard too much, the girl turns to walk away but the boy catches her hand and says, 'I don't like you, I love you. You're not pretty, you're beautiful. And if you walked away, I wouldn't cry, I would die.'"

"It does sound a bit like us, doesn't it?" Harry asked.

Hermione slowly nodded. "Yeah," she said softly.

"So are you walking away or sticking around?" Harry asked. "Merlin knows I want you to stay, but if you can't do it, I won't stop you."

Hermione nodded. "I know," she said softly. "And I'm not going anywhere. I have months to get used to the fact that Ginny's having your baby and that I never will. I wish I could but..." Hermione sighed heavily, knowing that she couldn't possibly tell him the truth. She knew that it would devastate him to know that there was a chance but that it was so small that it wasn't even worth trying. "Part of me wonders if I would be this devastated if I hadn't known I was pregnant. Of course, if I hadn't known, Voldemort would have never figured it out and then Bellatrix would have never stabbed me..."

"How did Voldemort find out?" Harry asked.

Hermione glanced at Harry before she reached for another cigarette. After she lit it, she stared at the cherry. "He would torture me for hours," she said softly. "Trying to break me. Trying to make me tell him what we'd been after and what we'd been doing out there. Every time I told him that I'd die before I gave him that information. He decided that he was going to find out who I'd stolen my magic from to see if that was the reason I was standing up to his torture. He wondered if he could convince everyone that you helped me steal it so he went digging through my memories. He saw everything, Harry," she said. "Yet somehow he couldn't figure out that we'd been after Horcruxes. The fact that he missed that tells me how far I was willing to go to protect you. When he realized that I was pregnant, he threw me away and told Bellatrix to take care of the problem. I think he figured that if you were his nemesis, any child of yours would be too."

Harry sighed and ran his hands through his hair before he lit up a cigarette as well. "I'm glad I killed him," he said softly.

"Me too," Hermione whispered before she ashed her cigarette and took a deep drag from it. "Were you planning on asking me in front of everyone?" Hermione asked, suddenly changing the subject.

"What?" Harry asked.

"The ring," Hermione said. "Were you planning to ask in front of everyone?"

Harry nodded. "Yeah," he said. "After dinner was over. I had a whole speech and everything."

Hermione chuckled. "What was it?" she asked.

Harry smiled. "I was going to talk about how you were the only person who never left my side at Hogwarts even though I left yours. How four years apart and being unable to even touch you when I was around you was torture." Harry took a drag from his cigarette and sighed as he exhaled the smoke. "I was going to say that you were always my best friend and the person I measured everyone against and how you're the voice of my conscience. And then at the end of it all, I was going to get down on one knee and ask you to be my wife."

Hermione smiled and met Harry's eyes. "In a heartbeat," she said softly.

Harry smiled. "Did I just propose?" he asked.

Hermione chuckled. "Perhaps," she said. "I want to marry you, Harry," she said. "I want to move in here and have a life with you and not have to think about going home in the morning for something I managed to forget."

Harry smiled and stood. He walked over to the counter and opened a drawer. Hermione recognized the small velvet box he pulled out of the drawer and smiled as he walked back to her. He opened the box and pulled the ring out before he knelt. "I might as well do this right," he said with a smirk. He took Hermione's left hand in his and held the ring at the appropriate finger. "Hermione, will you marry me?" he asked.

Hermione smiled like a young schoolgirl. She nodded. "Yes," she said. Harry slipped the ring onto her finger before Hermione leaned forward to kiss him, remembering that night, five weeks ago, when she had sat in this very chair and he had knelt in front of her and they had kissed for the first time in four years. As Hermione wrapped her arms around his neck, noticing how the ring made her had feel a little awkward in a good way, she knew this was the way she wanted to spend _every_ day of the rest of her life.

Harry pulled away from Hermione with a smile. "We don't need kids to be happy," he said softly before he stood and pulled Hermione to her feet. "Not when we have each other."

Hermione smiled and kissed Harry before she took a last drag from her cigarette and snuffed it out in the ashtray. "You want to take this to the bedroom then?" she asked.

Harry smirked . "You know I do," he whispered before he grabbed his slowly burning cigarette and took a last drag from it before putting it out as well. "Let's go, Future Mrs. Potter."

Hermione laughed as Harry moved to kiss her again. She pulled away from him with a smirk. "Catch me if you can, Mr. Potter," she said before she slowly backed away from him. As she kept walking backwards, she slowly began to unbutton her shirt. Harry stood, dumbfounded, until Hermione shrugged off her shirt and threw it at his face. Harry caught it as Hermione giggled and turned to run to the bedroom. "Hey!" Harry cried before he chased after her.

Harry caught up with Hermione as she reached his room. He grabbed her left hand, feeling the ring scratch at his palm. He smiled as he pulled her close and kissed her. Hermione slipped her hands under Harry's shirt and ran her hands over his stomach and chest. She kissed him hungrily, her hands on his hips, pulling his body closer to hers. Harry's hands tangled in her curly hair, keeping their mouths joined.

Hermione slipped a hand into Harry's pants, grabbing his hardened cock. Harry gasped into her mouth and Hermione smirked as she kissed his jaw, her hand moving in time with her kisses.

Harry unbuttoned his pants to give Hermione more room to move and she guided him to the bed. Harry sat down with Hermione standing in front of him. He reached up under her skirt until he found her panties. He slowly pulled them down, letting them drop to the floor. Hermione straddled Harry's lap, kissing him as her loose hair cascaded in a curtain around their heads. As they kissed, Harry adjusted himself before gripping Hermione's hips tightly. Their eyes met a moment before he sheathed himself inside of her, causing them both to moan.

Hermione rocked her hips back and forth, feeling Harry fill her up to the brim. She leaned back, hands on his shoulders to keep her steady, and Harry put one hand at her back to keep her from falling. The other he put behind him to keep his own balance as he moved his own hips to meet hers.

Their rhythm started out slow, but quickly hastened with their need to complete each other. Harry unsnapped Hermione's strapless bra and tossed it aside before he brought her body closer to his and took one of her nipples in his mouth. Hermione cried out, her head thrown back. Harry moaned as the walls of her vagina contracted around him. Hermione could feel the pressure begin to build with every movement of her hips and she pushed Harry down onto his back. She pushed his shirt up and leaned down to kiss the newly exposed flesh, her body grinding against his so that her clit was rubbed as she moved.

Harry pulled his shirt off and tossed it aside. He gripped Hermione's hips tightly, forcing as much of himself inside her as was physically possible. The force was just this side of pain, riding the border between the two feelings until they were both dizzy. Their movements began to lose their fluidity and became somewhat erratic.

Harry was the first to climax, closing his eyes tightly as his entire body was engulfed with that feeling. Hermione cried out as he seemed to explode inside of her, sending a wave of heat with a force that made her shudder. She kept moving above Harry, drawing out his orgasm. He sat, clutching her tightly. With one last movement, Hermione shuddered with Harry still inside of her and her spine bowed with the force of her own climax. Harry held her tightly, licking away the tiny beads of sweat between her breasts.

Panting, Hermione relaxed and met Harry's eyes before she moved to kiss him once more. "I still love you," she whispered in his ear.

"I'll always love you," Harry replied.

**AN: Don't forget to review...pwease? ^_^**


	11. Chapter 11

"I have to go to work," Harry sighed, fingers lightly tracing a pattern on Hermione's bared shoulder. The two of them lay in his bed, clothes scattered, exhausted...

"I called in sick," Hermione said with a chuckle.

Harry laughed. "You?" he asked. "Lied?"

Hermione smiled. "I was too tired to go in anyway," she said. "I didn't sleep well last night."

"I'm sorry," Harry sighed. "If it makes you feel any better, neither did I."

Hermione shook her head. "Not really," she said before she kissed Harry's bare chest. "But I am glad to know I'm not the only one who's exhausted because of strenuous activity on top of a lack of sleep."

Harry smirked before he kissed the top of Hermione's head, squeezing her shoulders as he moved. "I need a shower," he muttered as he relaxed against the pillows once more.

"Me too," Hermione agreed, though neither of them seemed likely to move. It was, of course, in that moment that two things happened: Harry's cell phone began to ring, and the doorbell chimed.

Harry groaned. "I'll get the phone if you get the door."

Hermione sighed. "Fine," she grumbled. "Make the woman who can barely walk get the door," she said as she propped herself up by putting her hand over Harry's stomach. He grunted and coughed because of the little push she made. Hermione smirked at him as she stood to find her clothes. Harry virtually fell out of the bed in an attempt to reach his pants without moving too much. He answered the phone as the ringtone started from the beginning. "Potter," he said as the doorbell chimed again.

Hermione picked up her shirt near the door and buttoned it as she descended the stairs. The doorbell rang a third time as Hermione stepped off of the staircase. "I'm coming!" she she announced, irritation lacing her voice. She opened the door a moment later and found herself surprised to see Ron.

"Where's Harry?" Ron demanded.

"Upstairs," Hermione said before Ron shoved passed her. "Ron!" Hermione cried, stumbling. She closed the front door and rushed after him. "Ron, wait!" she called as she began back up the staircase. He was halfway up them by the time she reached the second stair. Apparently deaf, Ron kept walking.

Hermione rushed to close the gap between them and caught up with Ron at the top of the staircase. She grabbed his arm, just above his elbow, forcefully turning him around. "Ronald!" she shouted.

"Get your fucking hands _off_ of me, Granger," Ron spat before he pushed Hermione away. It was luck that kept her from falling backwards down the stairs.

Ron went for the open bedroom door. As Hermione reached it, seconds later, she saw Ron with his wand pointed at Harry's forehead and Harry sitting perfectly still on the bed, phone still pressed against his ear.

"Thanks, Charley," Harry said in that forced-calm sort of way. "Wish you'd called just a little bit earlier though." Without waiting for a response, Harry slowly pulled his phone away and snapped it shut. He looked up at Ron unwaveringly. "Mind if I put some pants on?" he asked.

"Sure," Ron said coldly.

"Thanks," Harry sneered before he stood and pulled his pants on, carefully zipping them up. Ron's eyes, and wand, never left the Boy Who Lived. Once zipped, Ron began:

"You're leaving her alone and pregnant?" he demanded venomously. "What the hell did she do that made you treat her like Dragon Pox? Since when are you this fucking selfish?"

"I have a _right_ to be selfish!" Harry shouted. "Everything I have _ever_ done has been to make _other_ people happy! I saved the fucking _world_, Ron! _I_ killed Voldemort! You _know_ I've been in love with Hermione since we were twelve years old! _You_ went behind _my_ back to date her first! This _isn't_ about Ginny! It never has been and it never will be! This is about Hermione, the way it has _always_ been about Hermione!"

"This is about you abandoning my sister, you bastard!" Ron bellowed, his face redder than his hair.

"Did she tell you she lied?" Harry demanded. "Did she tell you that she decided to get pregnant to trap me into marrying her? Did she tell you that that baby is just a _tool_ for her?"

"Ginny would never do that!" Ron shouted in his sister's defense.

"She said so herself, Ron," Hermione cried.

Ron rounded on Hermione. "Why the fuck should I believe a word you say?" he yelled. "You cheated on me with Harry. You've hated Ginny since we were sixteen and he chose her over you!"

"He didn't choose her over me, Ron, he chose her because you stole me from him!" Hermione shouted before Ron could continue. "You went behind his back and pushed me into dating you! You said that you'd leave me alone if I just gave you a chance but you _never stopped pushing!_ It's no wonder I cheated on you with him! But even _that_ isn't entirely my fault! You're the one who left us all alone in the middle of nowhere! You knew how we felt about each other and that your presence there was the only thing that kept us from acting on that! You knew that Harry was ready to give up on everything and that I wanted nothing more than to be with him!"

"You said you'd give me a chance and you never did!" Ron shouted. "Everything you ever did was for him!" Ron shouted, pointing to Harry. "You used me to make him jealous! You wouldn't even _look_ at me when he was around! You refused to touch me, to kiss me! Everything was for him!"

"Maybe if you hadn't treated me like just another Muggleborn, things would have been different!" Hermione screamed. "Perhaps Harry would have been able to marry his number one fan and make the two of you brothers, but that's not going to happen now! You are_ never_ going to live up to James and Sirius, no matter how much you like to pretend you did!"

"Enough!" Harry shouted.

"Damn right it is," Ron spat.

"Don't you dare get all high and mighty with me, Ron," Hermione coldly ordered in a shaking and low voice. "Don't you dare."

"I think I have that right," Ron spat. "I left, I'll agree with that, but I didn't leave so you could become Harry Potter's _whore._"

Out of nowhere, Harry's fist collided with Ron's cheek. Ron stumbled and fell to the floor. "She is _not_ a whore!" Harry shouted. "If you knew half of the shit we went through when you left, you wouldn't _dare_ say shit like that. Now get out of my fucking house!"

Ron stood and stared Harry down. "You owe my sister," he said.

"GET OUT!" Harry shouted, pointing in the direction of the front door. Ron wiped the blood from the corner of his mouth before he turned and walked away. A moment later, the door slammed shut and he was gone.

Rigid with fury, Harry looked at Hermione. "Are you okay?" he asked.

Hermione mutely nodded. "Fine," she whispered breathlessly. "You?" she asked.

Harry shook his head. "No," he said shortly before he left the room. Hermione followed him as far as the door and saw him make his way into the bathroom. A moment later, she heard the water in the shower start. With a heavy sigh, she turned to the bed and sat down, thinking about what had just happened.

… … … … …

Thirty minutes later, Hermione looked up as Harry reentered the room, fresh from his shower. He gave her a sad look before he went to the closet and got dressed. Hermione watched him as he moved, wondering if she dared speak.

"Will you be here when I get home?" Harry asked.

"Do you want me to be?" Hermione softly replied.

Harry stopped, mid-motion. He finished pulling his shirt over his head and stared at Hermione for a moment. "Of course I do," he said softly. "Why..."

"Ever since we started dating again, it's been one problem after another," Hermione softly whispered. "Why can't people just let us be happy? Why do they have to spoil it?"

Harry sighed and walked over to Hermione. He sat on the bed next to her and placed his hand on her shoulder. "Because, to most of them, this isn't the way the story was supposed to end," he said softly. "Like you said to Ron earlier. Maybe if he had seen the you that I see every day instead of the Muggleborn know-it-all, things would be quite different. If you and I had never given into the urges we felt back in that tent, you would have never gotten pregnant. Perhaps you would have stayed with Ron. Perhaps I would have been happy with Ginny if I'd never known your touch. These are things we simply can't know, Hermione. And if we can endure what they have to dish out, we'll be a stronger couple later on."

Hermione smiled sweetly before she kissed Harry. "When did you become so philosophical?" she asked with a chuckle.

Harry smiled. "When life stopped making sense and I had to find other answers," he replied before he kissed Hermione. "Be here when I get home?" he asked.

Hermione nodded. "Absolutely," she promised.

Harry smiled and kissed his fiance once more before he stood and finished getting ready for work. "I'll be late," he said, glancing at the clock. "Probably close to ten or eleven."

Hermione nodded. "Shall I have dinner waiting for you?" she asked.

Harry smiled. "Now that'll be an interesting change," he said. "I haven't had that before."

"What do you want?" Hermione asked, grinning like a schoolgirl.

Harry's smile widened. "Surprise me," he said before he stole one more kiss. "I'll see you tonight," he promised.

Hermione nodded and kissed him. "Be careful at work." she said before they kissed yet again. "I will," Harry promised. After one final kiss, he left before he crawled back into bed with her.

… … … … …

Hermione fell asleep soon after Harry's departure. As she buried her face in the smell of his pillows, her mind began to wonder once again. Before long she was asleep, but her dreams were not happy or sweet. She found herself back in that dingy room with Bellatrix standing over her, bloodied dagger clenched tightly in her hand.

"You may have killed me, but I will always live on in your nightmares," Bellatrix promised. She reached out with a cold and skeletal hand and placed it over Hermione's scar. "The fact that I will be lurking will keep you from ever giving Potter his baby."

Hermione shook her head, feeling tremors of fear shake her body. "You're lying," she said defiantly. "I killed you. You can't hurt me anymore."

"No?" Bellatrix asked with a dark laugh. "Then why are your nightmares filled with my presence?" she asked. "Why do you allow me to haunt you? I will _never _be gone. You keep me going. You hold me in the pit of your stomach, connected to the scar you can't get rid of."

Bellatrix grinned, crazed black eyes laughing. She moved her face close to Hermione's. "You need me," she whispered. "And you will always have me." Bellatrix's hand slid into Hermione's body as if neither of them were quite solid. Hermione grunted in discomfort from the pressure Bellatrix's hand placed on her body.

Bellatrix grabbed and pulled at things no one should have been able to. Hermione screamed in pain as the dead woman's hand clenched even more tightly. Hermione screamed again, broken by the desperate desire for a breath. Bellatrix seemed to grasp at what she'd been searching for and she pulled hard, jerking her hand from Hermione's stomach and pulling out clumps of flesh. Hermione screamed again, this time in horror and fear as much as pain, her hands covering the scar Bellatrix had given her.

Bellatrix threw the globs of flesh to the ground and kissed Hermione's cheek. "See you soon, Mummy."

Hermione screamed once more, sitting up and looking around wildly for Bellatrix. She found herself in Harry's room but immediately she knew something was wrong. The pain she felt in her stomach was something she'd only felt once before...when the dagger had been inside of her for those few seconds. She moved the blanket away and felt her blood turn to ice. Every time before, there had been nothing. This time...there was too much blood.

Feeling dizzy, Hermione reached for the phone on Harry's nightstand. She dialed a number she knew from memory and was happy when Anita answered. "Help," she said softly.

"Hermione?" Anita asked. "What's wrong?"

The edges of Hermione's vision began to blacken. "I'm dying," Hermione whispered before she hung up the phone. It slid out of her hand and fell to the floor with an echoing thud. Hermione collapsed against the pillows and closed her eyes, thinking that it was okay for her to die now because she had finally been able to say that she hadn't given up on Harry.


	12. Chapter 12

Hermione opened her eyes to see Harry and Anita standing over her. She could see the concern in their faces, the worried tears in their eyes. "What happened?" Hermione asked.

"Well," Anita slowly began, "you called me and said you were dying. Once again you tried to bleed to death. Now would you like to tell us what happened before we got here?" she asked.

Hermione sighed. "I thought as much," she said softly. She still felt an ache in her stomach, a shadow of what she had felt before. She sat and rubbed her eyes. _See you soon...Mummy._ Bellatrix's voice wouldn't seem to leave her head. Hermione knew what the words meant. Knew what was going to happen next.

"Any particular reason why?" Harry asked.

Hermione started and stared at him. "Why?" she asked. Harry nodded. Hermione sighed and shook her head. "I wouldn't even know where to begin," she whispered.

"Start with the beginning," Anita suggested, lighting up a cigarette. Harry joined her as they sat on his bed with her. Hermione noticed the bloodied sheets and blanket had been carted away and that her clothes had been changed. Hermione wanted the comfort she knew Harry could provide. She rest her head on his bended knee and felt tears burn once Harry started running his fingers through her hair.

"It was a nightmare," Hermione said softly. "Bellatrix...she...she did something to me."

"Stabbed you with a knife?" Anita suggested.

Hermione shook her head, surprising the two of them. "She reached inside of me," she said softly. "It was like she was really there, really standing in front of me. She pulled something out of me...I don't even know what..."

"You're saying a _dream_ did this to you?" Anita asked. "Ridiculous."

"It sounds crazy, I know," Hermione whispered, closing her eyes. "But unless someone else was here, that's what happened."

"Well, if dreams suddenly have this kind of power, I'd be out looking for a curse breaker," Anita said. She glanced between the two of them. "You know one, don't you?" she asked.

Harry nodded. "And he owes me his life," he said.

"Then you'd best be calling him," Anita said. "And pray to god that he can help here, because if this happens again, there's no telling if she's going to wake up in time to call for help again."

Hermione held her hand over her stomach. _What about the baby?_ she wondered.

… … … … …

Hermione sat on the edge of the tub with a towel wrapped tightly around her body. She had to be sure. Had to know if it was real or if she was just letting the dream get to her.

She couldn't say the spell out loud. She felt sick to her stomach and her heart thundered in her chest. She thought the worlds to the spell she had used only once before. Back then, the sparks had been blue. Today, Hermione prayed there wouldn't be any...

Today, the sparks were pink...

Instantly, Hermione dissolved into tears. She couldn't decide if she was elated that the odds stacked against her had come crashing down or if she was terrified of what it meant if she truly had been cursed. For the first time in her life, Hermione thought about abortion. But what if this was her _only_ chance to have a child of her own? What if getting rid of this one opened the door to another horror down the road?

A knock on the door made Hermione jump and wipe away her tears quickly. "Yes?" she called.

"Are you okay?" Harry asked through the door.

Hermione stood, making sure her towel was secure, and went to the door. She sighed heavily before she opened it a fraction and saw Harry on the other side. "I'll be down in a minute," she promised.

Harry reached threw the gap and brushed away a fresh tear. "What's going on?" he softly asked.

Hermione shook her head. "Later," she promised, not wanting to talk about it right now...not when she felt so vulnerable and the news was so fresh.

_See you soon, Mummy._

Hermione jerked away from Harry as if she'd been burned. Bellatrix's voice was so suddenly there in the back of her mind, called up from the dream by the knowledge that Hermione was pregnant. "What's wrong?" Harry asked, pushing the door open and walking into the room. Hermione backed up to the counter and found she couldn't go any farther. Harry hesitated a foot away from her. "Talk to me, please?" he whispered.

Hermione stared at Harry, begging silently that he understand. She tried three times to speak, each in vain. She shook her head, wet hair falling forward as she bowed her head. Harry stepped forward, closing the gap between them. He wrapped his arms around her bare shoulders and Hermione clung to him as the tears began anew.

"What's wrong?" Harry whispered.

Hermione shook her head. "Later," she cried through her tears. "Please, just...later..."

Harry sighed and nodded. "Okay," he said. "Later." He kissed her forehead before he sighed heavily and let her go. "I'll be downstairs when you're ready," he promised.

Hermione nodded and rubbed the tears from her eyes. "Okay," she said before she looked back up at him. "I'll be down in a few minutes."

With a sigh that told Hermione Harry knew something was very wrong, the Boy Who Lived left the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. Hermione let out a breath she hadn't known she was holding and turned to look at herself in the mirror. She looked as terrified as she felt. She placed her hand on her stomach. "You can't have her, Bellatrix," she vowed, eyes narrowing defiantly. "She's mine."

… … … … …

Harry stood when Hermione came down the stairs, fully dressed with her hair pulled up off of her neck by a hair clip. She gave him a smile. "Sorry if I worried you," she said.

"You almost died today, Hermione," Harry said softly. "What the hell happened? I don't understand how a dream could have done that to you."

Hermione sighed and walked up to Harry. She kissed his cheek before she sat down on the sofa. "Sit down, Harry," she said. Harry obliged, sitting sideways on the sofa with one arm over the back and one leg tucked under the other. He reached for Hermione's hand and held it tightly. "I've been dreaming of Bellatrix ever since the night I killed her," Hermione began. "Almost every night, the way you have nightmares about the things Voldemort did to you. The first nightmare I had, she promised me that she would never leave. She swore that she would haunt me for the rest of my days because I had taken her life. She said that there would come a day when the game would change and she would find a way back into the world through me."

"You're saying she's attached herself to you?" Harry asked. "Like a Horcrux?"

Hermione sighed. "Not really," she said. "Not like a Horcrux anyway. For years, she's just been a presence inside my subconscious that gives me nightmares, reminding me that she's still there. She was crazy enough to do something rash and have an insurance policy in place in the event of her death, like Voldemort, but I don't think she ever knew about Horcruxes."

"So what _are_ you saying then?" Harry asked.

Hermione sighed. "In my dream today, she said that she would see me soon," she said. "Implying that she'd found a way back into the world. I know what she found..."

"What did she find?" Harry asked.

Hermione sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. She squeezed Harry's hand tightly. "It was such a low chance that I didn't even bother to bring it up," Hermione whispered. "I figured there was no point in getting our hopes up because it wasn't likely to happen..."

"What?" Harry asked.

Hermione sighed again. "Anita was my doctor at St. Mungo's," she said. "She's the one who kept me alive when I was so close to dying. She's the one who had to walk into my room and tell me that the odds of me ever having a child were slim to none. She said that it was a ninety-five percent chance that it would happen and that the scarring on my uterus would make any pregnancy high-risk. Since my family isn't a very fertile one, I automatically assumed that meant I wouldn't be able to get pregnant again," she sighed. She looked up at Harry, meeting his eyes, and wondered if he had picked up on what she was about to say. The look on his face was careful, as though he didn't dare hope.

"I'm pregnant, Harry," Hermione said softly.

Harry let out a shaky breath and squeezed Hermione's hand. He ran his hand through his hair and rubbed his eyes under his glasses. "Oh boy," he whispered.

"Girl," Hermione said with a smile.

Harry laughed before he pulled Hermione close to him and wrapped his arms around her. "So what does this mean?" he asked.

Hermione sighed. "It means that I have to take it very easy for the next nine months."

"I meant about this Bellatrix issue."

Hermione shrugged. "I'm not going to let the ghost of some dead Death Eater destroy my happiness," she vowed. "We're going to have this baby and we're going to show it what it means to grow up in a loving environment. I doubt Bellatrix can influence someone who's as good as you and I can be from the grave."

"And if she can?" Harry asked.

Hermione sighed. "Then we'd better find a way to lock up that part of her before it's too late," Hermione said.

"But...how can you be pregnant with all that blood you lost today?" Harry asked. "That looked like a miscarriage."

"You've seen the end result of a miscarriage before?" Hermione asked.

Harry nodded. "Ex girlfriend," he said. That was all. "It wasn't mine before you jump to conclusions."

"Really?" Hermione asked doubtfully.

Harry nodded. "She found out she was pregnant about two weeks after we started dating," Harry said. "Back then I didn't jump in the sack very easily and she and I hadn't even slept together. There was no way it was mine. About a month later, she woke up in the middle of the night looking like you had when I got here with Anita."

"Hmm..." Hermione said thoughtfully. "I don't know what that was about," she said. "But I didn't do the spell until I got out of the shower," she said. "That's why I was crying in the bathroom."

Harry slowly nodded. "Okay," he said.

"Therefore, I'm still pregnant," Hermione said. "And maybe this whole Bellatrix thing is all in my head... Maybe I'm just looking for something to go wrong because nothing for us can go right without something else ruining it all. Who knows what's going to happen?" she asked.

"I want to call Bill and find out if you're cursed," Harry said softly. "Just to be on the safe side.

Hermione scoffed. "Because the Weasleys are going to be keen on helping us out now that Ginny's single and pregnant and you're engaged to me," she said.

Harry sighed and kissed Hermione's temple. "Bill owes me," he said. "He'll help if I tell him it's needed."

Hermione sighed. "Okay then," she said. "Call Bill."

* * *

**AN: Sorry this one's short and that it took forever to get it posted. Life happens and fanfics suffer for it, I'm afraid. :'( I'll try to be a little more forthcoming with future chaps, but I make no promises. **


	13. Chapter 13

Morning arrived the way every morning did, with the sun creeping up over the horizon and shining on the city. Hermione slowly opened her eyes and found that she was alone in Harry's bed. She sighed and sat up and, for a moment, simply sat there and wondered what the next few hours would bring. When the door quietly opened, Hermione looked over to see Harry standing in the doorway. "Breakfast is ready," he said before he gave her a smile and started back downstairs. Hermione pushed the blankets aside and stood with a yawn. Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, she made her way downstairs and gratefully accepted the coffee Harry held out for her.

"I love you," she said with the mug under her nose so all she smelled was coffee.

"I hope coffee isn't the only reason," Harry said with a smile as they sat down at the table.

Hermione shook her head. "Of course it isn't," she said, taking a sip. She closed her eyes and savored the taste for a moment before she put the coffee down and reached for the cigarettes. As she pulled one from the pack, she looked at it for a moment. "Do you think smoking really hurts a baby?" she asked.

Harry shrugged. "I think we're wizards and the rules are a little different," he said. Hermione sighed and shrugged before she lit the cigarette, allowing the caffeine and nicotine to jump-start her morning. Harry joined her with a cigarette of his own. "Bill will be here around ten," he said.

Hermione slowly nodded. "Because he wants to help or because he owes you?" she asked.

Harry sighed. "I think it's mostly because he owes me," he confessed. "He sounded less than pleased to hear from me last night, but he promised he'd be here."

Hermione sighed. "Great," she muttered.

"Hermione, don't be like that," Harry softly urged. "It's difficult for everyone, what's been going on with all of us. First Ginny and I break up and then she figures out she's pregnant...now there's what could possibly be the worst thing any Death Eater has ever done going on and no one is quite sure how to react to it."

"I don't want to be something people have to react to, Harry," Hermione said. She sighed and put out her cigarette before standing and going for the hearty breakfast Harry had made. She dished up their plates and went back to the table, setting one down in front of Harry and keeping the other for herself. "I don't want to be a burden."

"You're not," Harry said strongly before he took a bite of his eggs. "Don't even think like that."

"Clearly I am to some people, Harry," Hermione snapped, glaring at him. "Bill is only coming to help because he owes you his life. That means that whatever help he gives is really only going to be half-hearted at best. I'm sorry, but I don't want the life of our daughter resting in the hands of someone who doesn't care!"

"Hermione, Bill _does_ care!" Harry cried. "Christ, he cares more than almost any of them right now, if only because he's the only one who knows! He doesn't want to see another dark wizard born into this world any more than you or I do, especially not one with the soul of Bellatrix Lestrange. He's old enough to remember the first time Voldemort was around and that was a hell of a lot worse than the second time."

"I don't want to talk about this right now," Hermione said, standing. She picked up a cigarette and her coffee before she walked to the back door. She stepped out onto the covered patio and sat down on one of the lawn chairs, watching the clouds move in and the rain begin. After a moment, Harry cautiously walked out.

"Hermione?" he asked.

Hermione looked up at Harry before she sighed. "I'm sorry," she said. "It's just that everything seems to be happening all at once. First Ginny says that she's going to have your baby, then we get engaged, and now I'm going to have your baby as well but there's a catch to it with me. A curse if it really does exist or years of dreaming of Bellatrix have finally made me go insane. What if there is nothing there?" she asked, looking at Harry with eyes begging for answers the great Hermione Granger didn't have. "What if it is all in my head?"

"Then we don't have anything to worry about," Harry said, sitting next to Hermione. He reached for her hand and held it tightly. "Then we are both going to be freed of our demons."

"How so?" Hermione asked doubtfully.

"We'll both know that it's just in our heads and we can deal with it. If it's real, then it's a real problem that might take a lot more to solve. You aren't the only one the dead haunt," Harry said softly. "In case you've forgotten, I had a piece of Voldemort's soul inside of me my whole life. Just because he's dead doesn't mean that piece isn't still residing inside of me. I might not be a Horcrux anymore, but that doesn't stop the fear that he might find a way back through me."

Hermione sighed. "I suppose that makes sense," she said.

"Can we go back inside now?" Harry asked. "Bill should be here soon."

Hermione nodded and Harry held out his hand to help her stand. Even though she didn't need it, Hermione accepted Harry's help and he pulled her to her feet.

… … … … …

Bill arrived an hour and a half later. Harry opened the door, relieved that he'd finally come, and led him into the living room, where Hermione anxiously waited, cigarette in hand. She stood when Bill entered the room and a moment of awkwardness passed between them all.

Finally, Bill was the one to break the silence. "So, tell me what's going on?" he asked.

"Sure thing," Harry said. "Have a seat," he added, gesturing to the empty chair next to the sofa. Bill took it and Hermione resumed her sitting on the sofa. "Do you want anything to drink?" Harry asked. "We've got juice, coffee, water, and beer."

"Coffee would be great, thanks," Bill said. Harry nodded and left the room. For a moment Bill and Hermione sat in silence. Finally, Bill sighed. "What's the problem?" he asked.

Hermione sighed. "I'm not even sure it's a real problem," she said. "For all I know, it's in my head."

"Well tell me about it," Bill said. "As a curse breaker, it's my job to figure out which curses are real and which ones aren't."

Hermione nodded and took a long drag from her cigarette before launching into the tale about the possible curse Bellatrix left her with. Before long, Harry had returned with the coffee.

Bill sighed when Hermione finished talking. "Sounds real," he said. "It's not the first time I've heard of disgruntled dead people trying to come back when a new child is born into the family of the person who wronged them or even their own. Usually the dead person has to be related to the infant in some way, but that's not always the case. I think what you've got here is your average possession curse. Easily fixed with the right potions. I can have them to you within the week," he promised.

"Really?" Hermione asked, sounding breathless because she didn't dare believe this was truly happening.

Bill nodded. "Absolutely," he said. "Since the war ended, this has actually been pretty common. A lot of Death Eaters were pissed about being rounded up and executed so they cursed their accusers with much the same scenario. Given everyone we've been able to help in the past four years, I don't see why we can't help you too."

Hermione smiled. "Thanks, Bill," she said.

Bill shook his head. "Don't thank me," he said. "I'm not doing this to help you, I'm doing this because I don't want to owe a favor to the man who betrayed my sister like this."

"So you said you could have the potions by the end of the week?" Harry asked, pointedly not looking at Bill.

"Yeah," Bill said, shifting in his seat because he realized that he'd suddenly worn out his welcome. "Yeah, I'll get started on those right away," he said before he stood. "Thanks for the coffee," he said before rushing to the door to leave.

Once the door was shut, Hermione looked pointedly at Harry. "I told you," she said before she stood and left the room. She walked out to the back porch and sat down once more. Looking over the rain-soaked back yard, Hermione pictured their daughter running and playing. If she tried hard enough, she could even picture Harry and Ginny's daughter running around with her. One girl with brown or black hair and the other with bright red. With a sigh, she wondered if either of them would have Harry's signature green eyes.

The phone rang inside and Hermione could hear Harry's footsteps guide him through the house until he answered it by the third ring. She remembered when she called him so early in the morning and told him the truth. She wondered what things would be like if she hadn't called him. She knew she wouldn't be sitting on the back porch with a cigarette and thinking about their daughter. The odds were high that she would be a wreck because no one would have been around to save her from Blaise that day.

Through the kitchen window, Hermione could hear Harry's voice floating out. His words weren't clear at the beginning of the conversation, but she could hear him growing more and more agitated.

"What do you mean?" Harry demanded, causing Hermione to turn toward the window. "How can he have an alibi when we saw him do it?"

Hermione felt the tension wash over her as she readied herself to hear more bad news. The only case she knew of that Harry had actually seen the crime take place was the one that had just crossed Hermione's mind...

"_Five_ witnesses?" Harry demanded. "And _none_ of them know who he is?"

Hermione slowly stood and walked back into the house. She saw Harry standing by the table in the hallway where the phone was and found herself reminded of when the call about Ginny came in. Harry looked up at her and sighed. "Let me call you back," he said to the person on the phone before saying goodbye and hanging up.

"That was about Blaise, wasn't it?" she asked.

Harry sighed and nodded. "Yeah," he said. "I guess his defense attorney found five witnesses who place him at the Three Broomsticks at the exact time that he was accosting you and Anita. Either he planned it out in a way that none of us thought he was capable of and someone took a Polyjuice Potion with his hair in it, or those five witnesses were bought. I'm betting money's exchanging hands for this defense."

"So what does that mean?" Hermione asked.

"It means that he's being let go and that his trial is in a couple of months," Harry sighed. "Malfoy's trying to find whatever he can for the conviction but the open-and-shut case is suddenly a lot more open than shut so it's going to be hard."

"They can't just use Veritaserum?" Hermione asked.

Harry chuckled. "Hermione, you know better than anyone that Veritaserum can be countered."

"Only if there's something done about it in enough time and usually that's not possible without a warning. I know people have to be told that they're going to take it before they're given it, but if you tell it to him just before pouring it down his throat, he won't have a chance..."

"We can't legally do that," Harry said. "We have to give them a chance to agree or deny the usage of Veritaserum. Besides, it's not all that likely he's going to get off. He's an ex-Death Eater so he's already got strikes against him."

Hermione sighed. "Yeah," she sighed.

"I still can't believe you dated him," Harry muttered, shaking his head.

Hermione chuckled. "You know, neither can I."


	14. Chapter 14

**AN: Dear Cringo; Yes, I am aware that I promised that Harry would quit smoking and that we are now 14 chapters in and he is still smoking and Hermione is just as bad and pregnant, however, before you berate me for that, please do me the courtesy of waiting a few more chapters, please. I truly do have a plan for this story and it is not running away from me. I have not forgotten my promise to all of you in regards to Harry's smoking. Thank you.**

**And now, without further adieu, I give you Chapter 14 of I Still Love You! R&R please!**

Bill arrived Friday afternoon with the potions in hand. He gave them to Harry because Hermione refused to come to the door and get them herself and also handed over a list of instructions. With a guilt-ridden look in his eyes, Bill turned and left, and Harry locked the door behind him.

Hermione, who had listened to everything said at the front door from the kitchen, held her hand out for the instructions as Harry put the four potions on the counter. "So I take the red and purple ones in the morning, the purple and green ones in the afternoon, the blue and red ones in the evening and then the blue and green ones before bed?" she asked. "Jesus that's a lot of potions to take."

"If it keeps our daughter safe, isn't it worth it?" Harry asked.

Hermione nodded with a sigh. "I guess I'll start taking them tomorrow because it says that I have to take them in that order."

Harry nodded. "Looks like," he said. "I guess this is where we cross our fingers and hope it works?" he asked. "How long are you taking the potions for?"

"Two weeks," Hermione said as she put the paper down. She sighed and picked up the potion in the purple bottle. She pulled the cork out of the top and smelled it before she made a face. "That smells horrid," she said before she put the stopper back in and returned the bottle to the counter. "This isn't going to be pleasant."

"But on the bright side, it's not in your head," Harry said. "This is a very real problem that we can deal with physically."

Hermione nodded. "I'm not sure that I'm all that relieved by that notion," she confessed. "I almost prefer the days when I thought this was in my head."

Harry sighed and pulled Hermione into his arms. "We'll get through this," he promised before he kissed her cheek. Hermione sighed and relaxed against him, resting her head on his shoulder.

"Don't you have to go to work?" she asked after a minute.

Harry sighed. "Yeah," he said. "They've got us very busy right now with Zabini's case. Almost everyone's been pulled into it."

"Why so many?" Hermione asked, pulling away. "I mean, it was breaking and entering, assault, and attempted rape. Why do you need so many people on it?"

Zabini has the best defense attorney in the country," Harry said. "Same guy who defended the Malfoys when they went on trial and asked me to speak for them. He will do whatever he can to make sure that we can't get a conviction, so we have to do whatever we can to make sure Zabini goes to Azkaban. That, of course, might mean that you and Anita are questioned again."

Hermione sighed. "Should I call Anita and give her a warning?" she asked.

Harry shrugged. "If you want," he said. "You may as well call her. We have that dinner with everyone tonight, remember?" he asked. "You might want to remind her."

Hermione chuckled. "Anita isn't going to forget that we've got dinner," she said. "You know...you should invite Sirius' son over one of these days," she said. "He seemed like a pretty interesting person."

Harry laughed. "Rigel's cool," he said, "but I don't know about bringing him around too many pretty boys."

Hermione laughed. "Just do it," she said before she gave Harry a kiss and picked up her potions. "I'm taking these upstairs," she said. "Go to work."

Harry nodded. "Yes ma'am," he said before he quickly stole a kiss. "Love you," he said with a grin.

Hermione smiled back. "I love you too," she replied before she headed upstairs. Before she made it to the top of the staircase, she heard the front door open and close, signifying Harry's departure.

… … … … …

In the midst of preparing for the dinner that night, Hermione had forgotten to call Anita and warn her about the Zabini situation. However, as luck would have it, the ex-doctor arrived first, and without the added date on her arm.

"Where's Oliver?" Hermione asked as she shut the door behind her best friend and ex-roommate. She took Anita's cloak and hung it on the stand next to the door.

"Gone," Anita said with a shrug as she flipped her hair over her shoulder. "I fell back into bad habits."

"Who was it this time?" Hermione asked with a raised eyebrow.

"You don't know her," Anita said with a smirk. "Cute as a button though. Very strong legs."

Hermione chuckled as she and Anita walked to the kitchen. Hermione poured a glass of wine for Anita and held it out before she went back to the stove to add the finishing touches to one of the side dishes. "So he finally had enough and called it quits?" Hermione asked.

Anita took a seat at the kitchen table and sighed as she pulled out her cigarettes. "Yeah," she said. "Shame though. I really kinda liked Oliver. Maybe it's the whole Quidditch build. Those Keepers are keepers, if you know what I mean."

Hermione laughed. "I've always been more of a Seeker fan myself," she said slyly.

"Harry and Krum?" Anita asked. Hermione nodded. "Krum's okay but Harry's the looker. Where is the Golden Boy anyway?"

"Work," Hermione sighed. "They've pulled almost every Auror onto Zabini's case..."

"What?" Anita demanded. "Why?"

"There's going to be a massive trial and there's a large chance that he's going to end up walking. Apparently the guy defending him is hard to beat. Harry said you and I will probably be questioned again."

"Fantastic," Anita grumbled, lighting her cigarette. "Just what I needed in my life: More authority figures."

"What do you mean?" Hermione asked, turning to Anita curiously.

"My father called me yesterday," Anita confessed, rubbing the ashes off of the end of her cigarette. "He's quite pissed that I managed to fail at being a doctor even though the failing wasn't in my abilities it was my attitude and actions. He says that I should do everything in my power to get back on at St. Mungo's even though I told him I'm doing just fine with my job at that stupid diner that's so far below me..." she mumbled, the words trailing off as she stared at the cigarette.

Hermione turned the heat down on the stove and walked over to the table with her own glass of wine. She pulled out a cigarette and lit it up as she sat next to her best friend and reached for Anita's hand. "Don't give him the satisfaction of getting to you," she said softly, causing Anita to look up. "Anita, he's a tired old man who doesn't have anything he can be proud of in his own life. You were the one who became a doctor when no one thought you would be able to do it. You got a job at St. Mungo's despite the odds being stacked against you and you kept that job for about six years. The diner _is_ beneath you but you have fun there and that's what matters. Besides, you once said that you wanted to open up your own practice. Do it."

"My license was was revoked, Hermione," Anita sighed. "And I wouldn't even know where to begin in starting it up. I don't know how to work the system and get the paperwork pushed through."

"And you have a lawyer for a best friend," Hermione reminded her. "I'll do the paperwork if you get busy getting your license back."

"Who would be my patients?" Anita asked.

"For starters me," Hermione said. "I need someone right now who knows my medical history so you would be a very amazing asset which makes you the perfect use of my now very free time."

"What are you talking about?" Anita asked.

"In a couple of months, Harry's going to have two kids," Hermione said softly. "From two women."

"Oh...Merlin's beard," Anita whispered. "When did you find out?" she asked.

"The day I almost died," Hermione confessed. "And we did call Bill. He says it's probably a curse because the same thing has been happening a lot in the years since the war ended. He gave me a handful of potions to take to sever the tie between the Death Eater and the baby."

"Wow..." Anita whispered. "Guess I should get to work quickly."

Hermione nodded as the doorbell rang. "I'd kind of like to keep this quiet for a while," she said as she stood, setting her cigarette in the ashtray. "Don't say anything, okay?"

"Hey, I'm your friend here," she said, "not really anyone else's."

Hermione chuckled. "If you opened up a little more to the people whose lives you haven't saved, they just might be your friends too."

Anita shook her head as Hermione went to the door to let in their next guest. She was happy to see Draco and Cassie on the doorstep with Harry smiling right behind them. The couple walked in before Harry and once Harry crossed the threshold, he grabbed Hermione and kissed her. "Smells good," he said with his forehead pressed against hers.

Hermione smiled. "Welcome home, honey," she replied before she kissed him.

"Now _that_ is a perfect picture," a voice said from behind Harry. Hermione pulled away and looked over her fiance's shoulder to see Rigel standing there. "Front page worthy."

"Do you have an obsession with the tabloid pages?" Hermione asked, pulling away from Harry.

"Just the gossip column, Doll," Rigel said with a wink. "A man has to get the juicy bits somewhere after all."

Hermione chuckled as the troupe made their way into the kitchen. Wine was poured into waiting glasses and people moved into the dinning room where there was more space and appetizers.

"So where are Charley and Isabella?" Cassie asked, noticing that two familiar faces were not present.

"They're not here," Harry said with a shortness to his tone that suggested pushing the issue would be a bad idea. Harry turned to Anita. "No Oliver?" he asked.

Anita shook her head. "We broke up," she said. "He didn't like that I shagging girls again."

"Oliver was always a very monogamous person," Harry agreed. "And by again, I assume you mean that you've done this before?"

Anita smiled but it wasn't a happy look. "Is that really any of your business?" she asked.

Harry shook his head. "Just an observation," he replied.

"Well next time, keep it to yourself," Anita said. She looked at Hermione. "I'm going out for a cigarette," she said before she stood and started walking to the kitchen and the backdoor located there. Hermione and Cassie both quickly stood to follow her. As the women left the room, Hermione heard Draco's comment to Harry.

"You sure know how to kill a party, mate."

"Then the elephant in the room should have been ignored," came Harry's low reply.

Hermione stopped listening as she picked up her cigarettes from the kitchen table headed outside with Anita and Cassie. The three women stood in silence for a moment as the two smokers lit up.

"He didn't mean that, Anita," Hermione said, trying to calm the turbulent waters. "There's just been a lot going on lately, both at work and at home. He's been rather stressed."

"You know, I don't care what he has going on at work or at home except for when it deals with you," Anita snapped, pointing toward the dining room. "I don't care if about fifty fucking Death Eaters swooped down on the bloody Ministry and destroyed it unless you were there when it happened. What I _do_ care about is my dirty laundry being aired in front of people I hardly know! I care about a question from someone who has _nothing_ to do with me being brushed aside and redirected at me spitefully. I was the easy target in there and Harry fucking took the shot! Hermione, I don't give a rat's ass what his problems are or how stressed he is. When we're all here, it's a night for us to _forget_ about our problems and just be with the friends we think of as family. _Not_ to attack the guests."

"You're absolutely right," Hermione said softly before she and Anita both took a drag from their cigarettes. "Harry's not usually like this which means that something else is going on. Once it's over and done with, he'll be back to his usual self. I promise."

"Then it had best be over pretty damn quickly because I'm not going to stay and be abused like that. I don't take that shit from anyone I date and I don't take it from my parents. Why the hell should anyone expect me to take it from Wonder Boy?"

"Anita, I don't expect you to take _anything_ from Harry!" Hermione cried. "If it bothers you this much than just leave! No one is going to stop you or begrudge you. And, if anyone dares enough to _try_ it, they're going to have to answer to me and I'm a bit more moody than usual thanks to being pregnant!"

"You're _pregnant?_" Cassie demanded, staring at Hermione in shock.

Hermione sighed. "Yes," she said. "I am."

"I need to check you," Anita sighed. "Make sure that you're not overly stressed and such. The risk is too high and I don't want you have to go through losing another one."

Hermione nodded. "Tomorrow?" she asked. Anita nodded. "Thank you," Hermione said softly, smiling at her best friend.

Anita nodded. "Thank _you_," she said. "I'd be pretty lost without you. Anyway, I think I'm just going to go. I'm really not up to the whole thing tonight."

Hermione nodded. "That's fine," she said. "I'll see you tomorrow then."

Anita nodded. "I'll call you," she said before she Disapparated.

Cassie looked at Hermione. "You didn't want anyone to know yet, did you?" she asked.

Hermione shook her head. "I don't really want to risk it getting back to the Weasleys just yet," she confessed. "The only other person who knows is Bill. We needed his help with something and he seems to have pulled through but we're going to have to give it some time before we know for certain."

Cassie nodded. "Your secret's safe with me," she promised. Hermione smiled her thanks.

**AN: I'm adding this because I'm getting irritated with the reviews about the fact that Hermione is still smoking at this point in the story. TRUST ME! There is a plan here! The characters aren't being set loose on my computer and the story isn't getting away from me. There IS A PLAN here. Stop with the anti-smoking reviews, please.**

**Anita is a particular character. She's very forward and blunt but she doesn't like it when people point out the things that she does wrong. That's why she gets irritated when people ask a question that seems simple enough. She sees it as an attack with almost everyone. Yes, she was a healer and I'm not forgetting that (and this goes back to Hermione's smoking). The next chapter sees a lot of changes. Right now Anita isn't thinking with the head of the mediwitch she once was, she's thinking as the irrational trouble-maker she loves to be. It's not exactly that she's letting Hermione smoke at this point, it's more the fact that it hasn't really hit her yet. All I ask at this point is that you guys KEEP READING! Please! I'm begging you!**

**(AN edit added 10 Nov, 2010)**


	15. Chapter 15

Hermione smiled as she opened the door for Anita. "How are you?" she asked.

"Better," Anita said with a shrug as she unfastened her cloak. Hermione shut the door and took the cloak to hang it on the stand. "Okay, so first thing's first. Quit smoking."

Hermione chuckled. "Yes, Doctor," she said with a smirk.

"Don't 'yes, Doctor,' me," Anita said, hands on her hips. "Quit. Now. Throw the damn pack into the trash. You don't get any more, period end of discussion. You're a high-risk pregnancy and I'm not going to see either you or that baby lost."

"Here," Hermione said, pulling the pack from her pocket and holding it out for Anita. Anita took the pack and put it in her own pocket, hating the thought of cigarettes going to waste like that. "I haven't even had one at all today. What's next?" Hermione asked.

"Obviously no alcohol," Anita said. "You didn't have any last night so as far as I know you've been sober since you found out about the baby. Keep it that way."

Hermione nodded. "I haven't had a sip," she promised. "What next?"

Anita smiled. "Let's see what we've got going on in that tummy of yours," she said. "Where is most comfortable for you?"

"Guest room down the hall," Hermione said. "Harry's sleeping upstairs."

Anita nodded. "Lead the way," she said with a smile.

… … … … …

Anita shook her head as she cleaned up her things. "So, you're surprisingly six weeks along," she said. "The baby is small but she's healthy. You need to take some prenatal potions. I can't actually write out the prescription for them, but I have a friend who still has his license and he's willing to pretend to be your doctor while I get my shit figured out. Eat healthy, no stress, relax, and work from home if you start to lose your mind from the boredom."

Hermione nodded. "Okay," she sighed. "So when am I due?"

"I'd say about late June or early July," Anita replied. "It's a little hard to tell right now, especially since she's so small. If you're still pregnant by early August we're going to have to force it and I _really_ don't want to have to do that.

"I also want checkups once a month," Anita continued. "I want to make sure you two are doing just fine and if something starts going downhill I want to know about it right away so we can catch it in time. The closer we get to the summer, the more times I'm going to check on you."

Hermione nodded. "Okay," she said. "So what do we need to do to get your license back?" she asked.

"First you start with coffee," Anita said with a smile. Hermione chuckled and led the way back to the kitchen where they saw Harry sitting with coffee and a cigarette.

Anita walked up to Harry and took his cigarette from him before snuffing it out in the ashtray. "Your house just became a non-smoking environment," she said.

"What?" Harry demanded, glaring at Anita.

Anita pointed to Hermione. "She's pregnant therefore she's delicate," she said. "No more smoking inside the house around the pregnant lady. Doctor's orders."

Harry sighed. "Fine," he said, picking up his pack, lighter, and the ashtray. "I'll be outside."

"Harry," Hermione sighed.

"Hermione, it's first thing in the morning and she just took my cigarettes away," he said. "I'll be back in a minute."

"I love you," Hermione said.

Harry smiled at her. "I love you too," he replied before he walked outside.

"Should I apologize?" Anita asked.

Hermione sighed. "If you want a happy friend you should," she said as she handed Anita a cup of coffee. "And a happy patient."

Anita groaned before she stood and walked out the back door. Through the window, Hermione could see her light up a cigarette and say something to Harry. Harry shrugged and said something back.

Hermione sighed, watching their conversation and wishing that she could be a part of it. She knew if she dared attempt it that they would both snap at her. It gets cold in November after all. And there is smoke in the air out there around them. Watching them smoke made Hermione wish she could have one but, as she placed her hand over her stomach, she realized that some things are more important than the selfish desires of a smoker.

Harry and Anita walked back inside a few minutes later and Harry started gathering up all of the ashtrays and packs of cigarettes that were hidden away. Hermione watched in shock as he tossed them all into the garbage and started taking it out. "What are you doing?" she asked.

"Quitting," Harry replied simply as he left the room.

Hermione looked at Anita. "What did you say to him?" she asked.

Anita shook her head. "I didn't say anything," she replied. "He said that he was planning on quitting anyway and you having to quit made him decide it was time."

"Oh," Hermione said before she took a sip of her coffee.

"Anyway, I'm going to go hit the books," she said. "I know the material, but I'd be better off if I study a bit. Call me if you need anything."

Hermione nodded. "Same to you," she said with a smile.

Anita smiled and drained the last of her coffee before she stood and headed for the door. Hermione heard her and Harry exchange a farewell before the door shut and Harry made his way back into the kitchen. "Has it really been six weeks?" he asked.

"It's been about two and a half months, Harry," Hermione said with a chuckle. "That makes it about ten."

"Wow," Harry whispered before he got a refill of coffee and joined Hermione at the table. "So Anita said that she's going to get her license back," he said. "How did she lose it?"

Hermione chuckled. "Well, I'm sure you've noticed that she's not big on structure and has a bit of a wild streak, right?" she asked. Harry nodded. "St. Mungo's didn't like how she was constantly late for work and would occasionally show up hung over. They fired her and she had been up for a renewal of her license. They decided not to renew her license until she could prove that she was going to be a bit more dedicated to her work. She started working at the diner I would always go to at lunch and I recognized her from the hospital. That's pretty much how we became friends."

"Oh," Harry said with a slow nod.

… … … … …

The next day, Charley called. Hermione answered the phone without knowing who was on the other end and was surprised when she heard Charley's voice. She was further surprised when he asked if it was Hermione he was speaking with.

"What other woman would be answering the phone here?" she asked.

Charley chuckled. "True," he said. "Anyway, I was talking to Bill the other day and I hear that congratulations are in order."

"For what?" Hermione asked, closing her eyes and dreading Charley's next words.

"You're engaged and you're pregnant," Charley replied. "Those are some pretty big congratulations."

Hermione smiled. "Thanks, Charley," she said. "But you probably shouldn't have called."

Charley sighed heavily. "He's still mad at me then?" he asked.

"Harry's really good at holding grudges," Hermione replied. "He's pretty much written you off."

"Well, maybe this will help me get back into his good graces: Ginny's planning on putting the baby up for adoption. She doesn't want it and she doesn't want Harry to have it either. If he wants any say at all, he's going to have to get a really good lawyer."

"He's engaged to one," Hermione said. She sighed. "And at this point, Ginny can do whatever she wants with the baby. She and Harry aren't a couple and they were never anything more than boyfriend/girlfriend. Right now, he has no legal claim to the baby. The only time he actually gets any claim over her is when she's born and Ginny puts him down as the father on the birth certificate or he demands a paternity test. If he wants one now and decides he wants parental rights, Ginny can't do anything without consulting him first. She, however, has the right to deny the test."

"It pays to know a lawyer," Charley said with a chuckle.

"What made her change her mind?" Hermione asked. "When she and Harry talked, they agreed on split custody and all that."

"I don't know," Charley sighed. "Probably something mum said to her. She's been righteously livid since they broke up and Ginny told everyone that she's pregnant. Even more so when Bill told us all about the two of you-"

"Bill told _everyone?_" Hermione demanded, cutting Charley off.

"Yeah. Mum's threatening to hex the two of you if she sees you again."

"When did he tell everyone?" Hermione asked.

"He told me a couple of days ago but we all got together last night and he told everyone then."

Hermione swore and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Great," she muttered. "The last people we wanted to know and they're among the first."

"Bill said that the only reason he knew was because Harry called in a favor. What happened? I didn't think Harry was going to be calling on any of us."

"You mean Bill managed to keep his mouth shut about that?" Hermione asked.

"As far as I know," Charley said. "I'm sure if he told mum or dad everyone would know. Mum's not all that great at keeping secrets."

"That's certainly the truth," Hermione sighed. "I'd rather not talk about what happened. I'm hoping that the problem goes away without difficulty."

"Can I just ask one question?" Charley asked.

"Go for it," Hermione sighed.

"Did it have anything to do with Bill's profession?" he asked.

"Yeah," Hermione said as the front door opened. "Listen, Charley, thanks for calling, but I'd better let you go."

"Yeah, sure," Charley said. "Call if you need anything."

"Thanks. I probably won't though."

"Hey, it's not you that's mad at me, it's Harry. I'm still your friend, Hermione."

Hermione smiled. "Thanks," she said. "Bye."

"Bye," Charley replied before Hermione put the phone back down on the cradle.

"Who was that?" Harry asked as he draped his cloak on the back of a chair at the kitchen table.

"Charley," Hermione said. "Expressing congratulations to us for both the baby and the engagement."

Harry stared at Hermione with a mix of rage and shock on his face. "Charley called here?" he demanded.

Hermione nodded. "Yeah," she said. "You know, he would have told you if Ginny hadn't made him promise not to," she said. "You can't stay mad at him forever."

"Yes I can," Harry said, reaching into the fridge for a beer. He opened it and drank before putting it down on the counter. "What else did he say?"

Hermione sighed. "He says that Ginny is planning on putting the baby up for adoption," she said, leaning against the table.

"What?" Harry demanded loudly, slamming his newly opened beer down on the counter.

Hermione sighed. "Calm down, Harry," she said. "There's a way around this."

"Really?" Harry doubtfully snapped. "And what would that be?"

"Put in a request for a paternity test and, when it comes back that you're the father, demand parental rights. Ginny won't be able to do anything that way and if she decides that she doesn't want the baby, when she's born she'll be solely in your custody. Right now, Harry, Ginny is the one with all of the power."

Harry sighed and started shaking his head. "This is so fucked up!" he cried. "Why is she so determined to make my life fucking miserable?"

"I don't know, Harry," Hermione sighed. "She's the youngest and the only girl, she's used to getting things her way. I'm sure that's got something to do with it."

Harry shook his head. "She had everything she ever wanted and I had nothing my entire life," Harry said. "Why does that mean that I have to deal with her tantrum? I left her because I got sick of this shit, so why am I still dealing with it?"

"Because Ginny manipulated the situation," Hermione said. "She went behind your back to get pregnant and because you aren't going to abandon your responsibilities, she sees that she can _still_ manipulate you. If you get the paternity test, _you _will have the control in the situation because she's made it _very_ clear that she doesn't want the baby."

Harry sighed. "Fine," he said. "What do I need to do to get it?"

"I doubt Ginny's going to willingly subject herself to this so you're going to need a court order. I have a couple of friends in the Wizengamot that I can call. Maybe one of them will sign the order."

"Can I pull 'savior strings'?" Harry asked.

Hermione chuckled. "Dropping your name pulls those," she said. "I'll call Glenda tomorrow. We'll figure something out."

Harry nodded and then froze, mid-motion. "Is this okay with you?" he asked. "I mean, me taking the baby. Is that okay with you? I know we talked about what would happen when the baby was born and Gin agreed to split custody, but this is an entirely different level of parenting. It's not going to be every other week or just weekends or whatever anymore, it's going to be full time. Are you okay with that?"

Hermione smiled and nodded. "Yeah," she said.

"Are you sure?" Harry asked.

Hermione nodded again. "I promise," she said, happy that, for the first time, that wasn't a lie.

**AN: I told you all she would stop smoking. R&R Please. ^_^**


	16. Chapter 16

Hermione sighed as she put the phone back on the cradle. She'd just gotten off of the phone with Glenda and had a list of things that needed to be done so that Harry could get the order for the paternity test. First on the list was have Harry actually make the call. He also had to tell Ginny what he was going to do before he did it. That step, Hermione knew, was going to be Harry's least favorite.

Hermione picked up her list and walked into the living room. She sat down and picked up the book she'd been reading over the past few days. Suddenly not working was getting boring. Not to mention the desire for a cigarette was becoming almost overwhelming.

Hermione sighed and placed her hand on her stomach. It truly was a miracle that there was a baby there. Something growing slowly inside of her, a person who would have Harry's eyes and her smarts. A little girl who would become a woman...and it all began right here. This was a reason to quit smoking. Even if magic could stop it from killing her, even if magic could stop it from hurting the baby, being able to focus, being able to be in every moment without having to step outside and miss it, _that_ was the reason to stop smoking.

With a renewed focus and refreshed determination, Hermione turned back to her list. Most of the things written down were things that Harry himself had to do. Some of them Hermione could help with, but, as usual when it came to Harry and Ginny, Hermione could only be a supporter of the choices Harry made when it came to the other woman.

The front door opened in that moment and Hermione looked up to see Harry walk in, clutching his side and looking as though he was in a world of pain.

"Harry?" Hermione asked, standing.

"I'm fine," Harry said, slowly moving to the couch. Hermione helped him ease onto it with a worried look on her face.

"What happened?" Hermione asked, brushing the hair away from Harry's forehead and sitting next to him. She pulled his hand away from his ribs and lifted his shirt to see bruises forming around the scar there.

"Got into a fight," Harry replied, leaning his head back so that it rest on the cushions.

Hermione waited a few seconds for Harry to elaborate Harry didn't seem likely to continue any time soon. "With what, Harry?" Hermione asked. "Or with whom?"

Harry slowly opened his eyes and sighed, which made him wince. "Ron," he said. "We crossed paths at work and he wasn't happy to see me in the slightest. I asked him how Ginny was doing and he went off on me and started yelling about how I shouldn't have to ask that question and if I really cared about how she was doing, I wouldn't be marrying you. Then I said something and he punched me. Rigel and Malfoy broke us apart and the staff patched us up before sending us home. I'm suspended for three days and he's out for a week."

"If they patched you up, why are you bruising?" Hermione asked.

"Because as we were leaving, Ron decided to push me into the banister along the outside steps," Harry replied. "I lost my balance and hit it pretty hard."

Hermione swore before she curled up next to Harry, resting her head on the shoulder opposite his injured side. "Do you need anything?" she asked.

"Just the pain to stop," Harry whispered.

"Do you want me to heal it?" she asked.

"If you can, please," Harry replied. "I've decided I truly hate cursed wounds," he added as Hermione straightened up and reached for her wand on the coffee table. She pointed her wand at Harry's ribs and silently cast the healing spell. The bruises had disappeared by the time she raised Harry's shirt to look, but he still looked as though he was in pain.

"It still hurts?" Hermione asked.

"Hermione, I was shoved into stone," Harry said. "It hurts when I _move_ wrong. Of course it's still going to hurt. Physically, Ron knows all of my weakest points. He was my partner for two years as an Auror and not to mention everything that happened in Hogwarts and just after."

Hermione slowly nodded. "I suppose," she sighed.

"Come here," Harry said, pulling her close again. Hermione curled up under his arm and closed her eyes as she rest her head on his shoulder. "I called Glenda a few minutes ago," Hermione said. "She said that she'd be happy to sign an order to force Ginny to agree to the paternity test but only if you go through the process and ask her first."

Harry nodded. "Do I just ask her?" he asked.

"Formally, yes," Hermione replied. "Send a letter that demands response. Make it a message that records the vocal interaction of both the sender and the only person who it's intended for. That way there's a record of you asking the question and Ginny giving her answer. If it's yes, we'll schedule the appointment with St. Mungo's and if it's no, I'll send everything off to Glenda and she'll take it from there. We have to pay for the test because we're the ones requesting it, which, in all honestly, is expected."

Harry nodded. "It's not like I don't have the money," he said.

"The time is three o'clock."

Hermione sighed and waved her wand at the clock on the wall. "I have potions to take," she said before she moved away and stood. Harry reached for her hand. "Yes?" Hermione asked, looking back at him.

"Are they working at all?" he asked. It had been only three days, but Hermione had heard Bill say that results could be almost immediate.

With a sigh, Hermione shook her head. "Not yet," she said softly. "But I still have hope," she added before she squeezed Harry's hand reassuringly and made her way up stairs. She closed herself in the bathroom and picked up the two potions she needed: the potions in the purple and green bottles. There was a glass next to the bottles and Hermione poured an ounce of each into before swirling the glass to mix them. The potions softly glowed when they were properly mixed and Hermione plugged her nose before she drank. It didn't really help the taste, but if she drank it quickly it wasn't so bad. She gagged as she put the cup back on the counter and felt the nausea wash over her. The bathroom seemed to spin for a few seconds before everything settled and she was fine again. Hermione waited a few seconds for the second wave to hit and sat on the floor because the last time she'd taken this mix of the potions she'd almost fallen.

The edges of her vision went gray as her ears began to ring loudly. Hermione closed her eyes tightly and focused on simply breathing. She clenched her hands into fists, as if to assure herself that she wasn't fading into nothingness, and felt her body grow very weak, as though every ounce of strength had just left her.

And then, as suddenly as it all happened, everything was back to normal. Hermione sighed and pulled herself back up to her feet and rinsed out her glass before she put everything back up against the wall and left the bathroom behind, wishing somewhat that Harry hadn't been home or that he'd known how the potions were effecting her so that she wouldn't have to go through it in secret.

**AN: I know it's a bit of a shorter chapter. It just felt like the right spot to end it so the chapter ended. I'll have more for you guys soon enough. ^_^ R&R please!**


	17. Chapter 17

Later that evening, Anita came back to the house with another potion for Hermione to take. The prenatal vitamin that she'd said she was going to get her friend to write the prescription for. Hermione took the potion with a small smile and Anita could tell that she wasn't feeling well. Following Hermione into the kitchen, Anita noticed how her hands shook a little as she poured herself juice from the fridge. When Hermione turned to offer Anita some, she froze at seeing the concern on her friend's face.

"What is it?" Hermione asked.

"You're shaking," Anita said, walking up to Hermione and taking her hands. "Why are you shaking?"

"It's just some potions I'm taking," Hermione said, pulling away. "In response to the curse I'm officially under."

"So it really is a curse then?" Anita asked. "Why didn't whoever confirmed it just use a spell or something?"

"Because it's a problem that's dealt with by potions," Hermione answered with a shrug. "Not a spell. Bill didn't really go into detail about what the curse was or how it was fixed because he offended Harry before there was a chance to go into that."

"Harry's easily offended..."

"So are you," Hermione replied shortly. "And Harry's not as easily offended as you may think. He's actually pretty easy going unless you rub him the wrong way on a subject he has a strong opinion about."

"Whatever then," Anita muttered, shaking her head slightly. "I want to see these potions."

Hermione sighed. "I don't care what you think about them, you are _not _dumping them down the sink, understand?" she demanded.

"Fine," Anita said.

Hermione crossed her arms in front of her. "You're also not going to dump them down the toilet tub or any window. You will not break them or make them in some other way unusable."

Anita sighed. "I don't like the reaction they're giving you, Hermione," she said. "What happens when you take them? Are you fine or does it feel like there's something wrong?"

"I don't know how the potions are supposed to make me feel so I'm going to say that I'm fine," Hermione replied. "It's certainly not the most comfortable of experiences."

"Then you need to call the curse breaker who gave them to you and find out what the reaction is supposed to be," Anita said. "Have you even thought about what might happen if you lose this baby?" Anita asked. "Are you going to stick it out with Harry or are you going to run away like you always do?"

"I'm not losing this baby," Hermione said with conviction.

"Then call the curse breaker."

Hermione sighed. "I'm not calling him," she said. "I'll call his brother, but I'm not calling him."

"Fine," Anita said shortly. "I don't care if you call him directly or not, just get the answer. It's not exactly like you to just take something someone told you to take. You were a huge part of the war effort, Hermione. You, more than anyone else, should know that you can't just trust someone even if you've known them for years."

"How is getting your license back coming?" Hermione asked, changing the subject.

Anita sighed and shook her head. "You just can't do the uncomfortable conversations, can you?" she asked. "As soon as the conversation reaches a subject you don't want to talk about, you're the first to deflect."

"And you're the pro at displacement," Hermione snapped. "When was the last time you looked at the numbers on your arm?" she asked. Anita's face changed from stone to stunned. "When was the last time you acknowledged, _out loud,_ that you spent two months in Azkaban? When was the last time you told anyone that you were there?"

Without thinking about it, Anita slapped Hermione. Hermione stared in shock, her hand on her cheek. "That was out of line," Anita said with a low and shaking voice. "I did my fucking time four years ago! It's in the past." Anita shook her head rapidly. "I can't believe you even brought that up!"

"Neither can I," Hermione whispered, slowly backing up until she reached the counter. She slowly slid down to the floor and pulled her knees up close to her chest before she buried her face in her arms and a sob shook her shoulders. "I'm sorry," she weakly whispered.

"What potions are you taking?" Anita asked, rubbing her eyes tiredly.

"These ones," Harry said from the doorway. Both Anita and Hermione looked at him, surprised that he was standing there. Harry took the potions to the counter and set them down before he walked over to Hermione and knelt down next to her. He brushed the tears away from her eyes and kissed her forehead. "Why didn't you tell me?" he whispered before he kissed her again.

Hermione wrapped her arms around Harry's neck and cried while Anita opened the potion bottles and smelled them. Each smelled horrible, but she knew that wasn't the reason Hermione said that they made her uncomfortable. With a sigh, Anita put the stoppers back in each bottle and looked at Hermione and Harry.

"Call someone to find out what those potions are and what effects they have," she said. Harry nodded, being the only one paying attention to Anita. "I'm leaving. I'll be back sooner or later."

Harry nodded again. "Anita," he said as she started to walk away. Anita turned back to look at him. "I know she hasn't said it, but she's sorry," he said. "And normally she wouldn't have said that."

"Believe me, Harry, I know," Anita sighed. "Even knowing that though, it doesn't change that she said it."

"What were you in Azkaban for?" Harry asked.

"You know how a lot of people decided to sign up to be Death Eaters and they weren't caught or they lied through their teeth to make people believe they were under some sort of spell that made them do it?" she asked. Harry nodded. "Well I got caught and they wouldn't believe that I actually was under a spell. It's a bad thing to offer to take veritaserum. They think you're lying when you do."

Harry nodded. "I know," he said. He sighed heavily. "Thanks for everything," he said. Anita nodded before she turned and left the house, almost slamming the door behind her.


	18. Chapter 18

Hermione sat on the sofa with a blanket covering most of her body and a cup of hot tea in her hands. Harry sat close, facing her with one hand on her shoulder and the other lightly rubbing along her leg. The tears had stopped, but it was clear that they weren't far.

Hermione closed her eyes and bowed her head, breathing in the smell of her tea. "I don't want to take them anymore," she whispered. "They make me sick and..."

"They make you lash out at people?" Harry asked. "Is that why you said what you did to Anita?"

Hermione sighed and looked back up at Harry. "I don't even know where that came from," she whispered. "It's the one thing you _don't_ talk about with Anita. You don't mention you know because she knows you do. She's the one that tells you. And if you see that tattoo and you know what it means...if you mention it, she makes you wish you'd never been born. The things she did back then..." Hermione whispered, shaking her head. "She believes she deserved a lot more time but they only made her serve the two months because the people who cursed her had been caught and brought in. They confessed to what they did and she was let out. It's the reason she became a doctor."

"Because of what she did when she was under Voldemort's control or because of Azkaban?" Harry asked, trying to understand.

"Because of what she did as a Death Eater," Hermione whispered. "Even if she wasn't a willing Death Eater she was still one of them and she believes that completely."

"So she became a doctor to atone for what she did when she didn't have control and failed to keep that job as a doctor because she became a bit of a partier?" Harry asked.

Hermione nodded. "Yeah," she said.

Harry sighed and rubbed his eyes before returning his hand to Hermione's knee. "That's...wow."

Hermione nodded and took a drink from her cup of tea.

"Did the potions start making you sick immediately?" Harry asked.

Hermione sighed. "The first night I was a bit nauseous but I figured that was just a result of the pregnancy. Yesterday was when I started feeling sick each time I took them. Yesterday when I took the afternoon dose, I nearly passed out in the bathroom. It hasn't been too surprising for me given what the potions are supposed to be doing. The nightmares aren't going away either and they seem to be getting worse. Last night Bellatrix was actually holding the baby and it's scaring me, how much she's doing... I don't know how much longer I can handle these dreams, Harry," Hermione whispered, meeting his eyes.

Harry sighed and pulled Hermione into the crook of his arms. She relaxed against him and closed her eyes. This was home. This was what comfort was.

"Do you think it's the potions that are making you this moody?" Harry asked. "Or is it because you're pregnant?"

Hermione sighed. "I don't know," she said. "It's that or it's hormones."

"I guess we won't find out until you're done with the potions," Harry said. He closed his eyes as he leaned his head back, resting it on the back of the couch.

Hermione glanced at the clock on the mantle. It was a minute to six. With a heavy sigh, she stood up, causing Harry to open his eyes and watch her. "Where are you going?" he asked.

"Potions," Hermione said, pointing to the clock. Harry stood and followed Hermione up the stairs to the bathroom where the potions had been returned. He watched as Hermione poured a bit of two of the potions into a glass and swirled them in the cup until it began to glow. She drank it down quickly and Harry suddenly had to choose between catching Hermione or the glass in a matter of heartbeats.

Choosing Hermione, Harry caught her just before she cracked her head on something and let the glass shatter as it hit the floor. He scooped her up and realized that she felt cold in his arms.

"Hermione!" Harry called out, shaking her slightly. When she didn't respond, Harry carried her down the stairs and set her on the couch before he rushed into the closet pantry where most of his extras for being an Auror were kept. He found a bezoar and ran back to her. He heard her cough as he reached her and thought that it almost sounded like someone drowning. His heart stopped for a second before his legs moved faster. He reached Hermione and turned her to her side. She was unconscious and drowning on something.

Harry grabbed his wand and pointed it at her, using a spell to get rid of whatever was causing her to suffocate like this. She unconsciously gasped for breath and Harry shoved the stone down her throat, praying to something unknown that it would work.

It did, flooding Harry with a relief he didn't think he ever wanted to feel again. She opened her eyes and looked around in confusion before Harry reached for her and folded himself around her.

"What happened?" Hermione asked.

Harry pulled away enough to look at her and Hermione was shocked to see the tears on his face. "Harry?" she asked, reaching up and brushing the tears away. Harry felt himself go still as the confusion on her face increased. "Where are we?" Hermione whispered. She looked around the house. Her hand tightened on Harry's arm. "Where are we, Harry?" she asked, looking at him again.

Harry stared at her in shock. "What's the last thing you remember?" he asked slowly.

"The campground," Hermione said softly. "I'd just figured out that I'm-" she cut herself off and Harry knew what she remembered.

"Hermione, I want you to listen to me very carefully," he said. "I killed Voldemort four years ago," he said. Hermione stared at him in shock. "The baby you're thinking about was lost. You are pregnant now with my daughter and we're engaged. You are safe and you are in my house. Do you understand?" he asked.

Hermione gaped at Harry, shaking her head slightly. "No, that's not possible," she whispered.

"Look," Harry said, lifting Hermione's shirt so that she could see the scar under her navel. Hermione stared at her stomach, tears filling her eyes. "No," she whispered before she clung to Harry and started sobbing. "No, no, nononono!" she screamed into his shoulder. Harry held her tightly, feeling tears in his own eyes. He wanted to kill Bill for what the potions had done to Hermione. Kill Bill and get Anita here _now._

Suddenly, Harry didn't care if their daughter would be Bellatrix Lestrange reincarnated. He was getting rid of those potions.


	19. Chapter 19

Hermione sat at the kitchen table without really seeing what was in front of her. The tea in her hands was rapidly cooling and she couldn't seem to care one way or the other. She looked at the ring on her hand and wondered what the last four years had held. Why hadn't she and Harry been married years ago? Had it truly been four years? What had happened during that final battle in which Harry had defeated the greatest dark wizard of all time?

The man in question was in the living room using the Floo network to berate Bill for some potions the curse breaker had apparently given her. For what, Hermione still wasn't sure. Harry hadn't said much after telling her that it had been four years, that she'd lost the first baby, and that she was safe in his house. Clearly, she thought as she brought her tea to her lips, she wasn't _that_ safe.

Hermione drank her tea and set it back on the table before she ran her hands through her hair. She wondered if she still kept a journal. If she did, she wondered where she was hiding it. Tears fell from her eyes and she squeezed them shut to fight them off.

Hermione heard the front door open and immediately reached for her wand. "Where is she?" she heard a woman ask. Moments later, a red head walked into the room with a frantic look on her face. Hermione's hand clenched around her wand. Who the hell was this woman?

"Hermione?" she asked.

Hermione stared. Apparently she and this woman knew each other. "Who are you?" she asked.

"Hermione, I'm your best friend," the redhead said. "My name's Anita. I was your doctor four years ago when you lost your son." She kept her hands up by her shoulders, palms facing Hermione and fingers spread in an "I'm not your enemy" gesture. Hermione felt her hand relax around her wand, but she still wasn't sure. Then again, Harry wouldn't have let her through if she wasn't an ally.

"Prove it," Hermione said.

"Your blood type is O-positive," Anita said. "You have a family history of hard and high-risk pregnancies. In addition to the scar on your stomach, you also have a scar on your left hip and right calf."

Suspicious because she didn't know about these scars, Hermione stood and faced away from Anita to check the scar on her hip. It was there. Hermione didn't have to check her other leg. She believed.

Slowly, Hermione turned back to this stranger. "What happened to me?" she asked.

"That's what I'm here to figure out," Anita replied.

"Harry said something about some potions," Hermione said. "He doesn't want me to take them anymore."

"I didn't want you to take them anymore when I saw how badly your hands were shaking earlier this afternoon," Anita said. "You honestly don't remember a thing after being kidnapped by the Death Eaters?" she asked.

Hermione shook her head. "I remember sitting outside of the tent and being in shock because the sparks were blue," she said softly. "Then I went to the river to see if I could get some fish for Harry and I to eat because I needed to eat better if I was going to keep the baby. I was so lost in my thoughts about how to tell him that I was taken by surprise."

Anita nodded. "I know the story, hun," she said, sitting down at the table next to Hermione. "I also know what happened next."

"What happened?" Hermione asked.

"You were captive for two weeks," Anita said. "Harry found you and got you out of there and to St. Mungo's. Bellatrix is the one who gave you that scar on your stomach and killed your baby. You named him James," she said. "He's buried in a Wizarding cemetery not too far from the hospital. By the time you realized you were pregnant, you were actually about four months along. The fact that you are pregnant now is a bloody miracle because the chances of it were less than five percent. You killed Bellatrix Lestrange during the final battle against Voldemort at Hogwarts. As she died, she promised you that she would find a way back so that she could stay by your side and haunt you for as long as you live. You have had nightmares every night for the last four years about what she did to you in that cell."

"What happened after the war?" Hermione asked softly. "Why am I only engaged to Harry?"

"You left him the day you got your diplomas from Hogwarts," Anita sighed. "Harry was going to ask you to marry him that day but you hadn't told him about James and it was eating you up inside. You ran from the problem and haven't really talked to him much since then. You and he have only recently gotten back together and that was really only because I told you that you needed to call him and tell him the truth. You and he are beginning a slight custody battle over the baby Ginny's pregnant with. She went behind his back to trap him into marrying her by getting pregnant. He left her and refuses to go back to her. They had agreed on split custody but now Ginny's changing her mind and Harry's fighting it."

Hermione felt tears fall. "I left him?" she whispered.

Anita nodded. "And since leaving him, you have dated Ron and Blaise Zabini," she said. "You and Ron lasted about six months before you broke up with him in a screaming match that almost ended in physical violence. You and Zabini broke up because he had been out shagging some other woman for about three weeks and you were sick of his shit. He tried to rape you but Harry rescued the both of us. He's currently awaiting trial."

Hermione sighed. "Jesus," she whispered.

Anita chuckled. "That about sums it up," she said softly.

"To think that my life would end up this way," she said softly, looking at the ring on her finger. "I can't believe I left him."

"You almost left him again about two weeks ago," Anita said. "When Ginny's pregnancy came out into the open. You kept leaving him on the nights he was planning on asking you to marry him, which made him pretty weary about asking you again. You've only been engaged about two weeks. You're six and a half weeks pregnant now. You've known about it for a grand total of seven days."

Hermione slowly nodded, absorbing the information. "This is a lot to take in," she whispered, hearing someone walking up to the kitchen.

Harry looked at Hermione. "Are you allergic to anything?" he asked.

"As far as I know, nothing," she said. "Is that what happened? An allergic reaction?"

Harry sighed and ran his hands through his hair. "Not as far as anyone can tell," he said. "Bill thinks that it's part of the curse that the potions were supposed to be curing or the scaring on your uterus is keeping the potions mostly in you and is splitting _your_ soul from your body and opening you up to Bellatrix."

"Oh my god," Hermione whispered, staring at Harry and Anita with wide, frightened eyes. "Oh my god..." she whispered again before she stood and started running for the front door.

Harry caught Hermione as she was fighting with the deadbolt and turned her around, pressing her into the door. "You are _not_ running from me again," he said. "Please," he added in a whisper. "We can fix this, Hermione," he said.

Hermione shook her head. "How?" she whispered.

There was a fear in Harry's eyes that scared Hermione. She'd seen him face off against the darkest wizard of all time and not have that much fear in his eyes. The threat of her leaving, of her running away for what would apparently be the third time, that put that look in his eyes.

"Don't look at me like that," Hermione whispered.

"Then don't you dare walk out that door," Harry replied, his voice just as quiet as hers had been. "Don't run from me again. I couldn't take it if you did."

Hermione buried her face in Harry's chest. "I don't know what to do!" she cried.

Harry held her close, wrapping his arms around her shoulders. "Just stay with me," Harry said. "We can fix it, I promise."

"How?" Hermione asked again.

"Carefully," Harry replied, kissing the top of Hermione's head.


	20. Chapter 20

Hermione still wasn't sure what to think. Still wasn't sure if they really could fix it, as Harry promised. Yet she stayed with him, stayed in the house he promised was safe. Stayed, praying that whatever had been done could be undone.

She wanted to be able to remember. She wanted to remember why she had left him four years ago, what happened to the baby she hadn't expected and lost, how she and Anita became the kind of friends they seemed to be, and, of course, what this curse was that everyone seemed so worried about.

Hermione found herself lying on the bed in the guest room, where she clearly hadn't been staying. Something about knowing she and Harry were engaged and expecting but not remembering how any of it happened had made Hermione a little weary about all of it. Harry had tried insisting on her sleeping in the room upstairs, if not with him than for herself. Hermione had refused and now found herself lying in a foreign bed in a foreign house with a foreign problem. She wanted to go back to that day, the day she discovered she was pregnant with Harry's son, so that she could live it all differently, perhaps even making a different decision as to avoid capture.

She fell asleep after hours of tossing and turning and trying to find a position that was most comfortable. Her dreams held more answers than anyone else seemed to.

_The room was dark. Hermione could hear birds and crickets outside through the narrow window high on the wall of her cell. The moon was supposed to have been full, but the clouds were so thick that there wasn't a moon in sight._

_ A cold laughter from the darkest shadows made Hermione look into them, expecting to see gleaming red eyes or some other sign that there was something not-quite human lurking there. She couldn't see anything, save for a darkness so complete that it was frightening._

_ There was the sound of footsteps. Emerging from the shadows, almost growing out of them, was Bellatrix. She walked up to Hermione and knelt down. "Hello, mummy," she said in a deep and throaty alto voice. "How are you feeling these days? A bit confused?"_

_ "What are you doing to me?" Hermione whispered._

_ Bellatrix grinned. "Having fun," she said. "I'll be willing to bet that you're very angry with me right now, aren't you?" she asked. "After all, it's not every day the potions to cure someone of a possession like the one I've got you under fail so miserably. It's not the poor weasel's fault though, just so you know. See, me and the little one, we've got a deal going on. If she can break free of me on her own, I'll wait for the next tyke to come along—and believe me, I'll make sure there's another one. The catch is that she's got to do it all on her own, no special potions giving her the power to let her fight me. So she's been rejecting what you've been drinking and it's killing you." Bellatrix grinned broadly. "Which means that I'm winning because your being weak is making her weak."_

_ "Stay away from her," Hermione growled._

_ "You don't even care if she exists!" Bellatrix cried, standing up and throwing her arms out wide. "You couldn't care less about the daughter you just found out about because you're still stuck on the son I killed!"_

_ "Mummy?" a new voice, a child's voice, called from another shadow. A little girl dressed in white with limp black hair and watery green eyes stepped into the dim light. "Don't you care about me?"_

_ "Of course I do," Hermione whispered. She reached for the little girl. "Come here," she said._

_ "Why are you hurting me, Mummy?"_

_ "I'm not doing it on purpose," Hermione replied. "Come here," she said again._

_ The little girl took a cautious step forward, weary eyes cast to Bellatrix. "She's hurting me too," she said, taking another step forward. "I don't like it when it hurts. I don't like those things your drinking either. They make me sick."_

_ "I'm not drinking them anymore," Hermione promised. She could almost touch her daughter now. "Come closer, sweetheart. I'm not going to let her hurt you anymore."_

_ "You think you can stop me?" Bellatrix asked._

_ Hermione glared at the dead Death Eater. "I killed you once," she said. "I'll do it again."_

_ Bellatrix stepped behind the little girl and held her in place. "What if I'm wearing her face?" she asked. "Will you kill her too? Will you kill the daughter you shouldn't have, the daughter that I made sure you would have, in order to stop me?"_

_ Hermione got to her feet on shaky legs. "You can't have her, Bellatrix," she said, reaching for her daughter's outstretched hand._

_ "Neither can you," Bellatrix said, her grip tightening on the girl's shoulders. The girl whimpered from the pain and Hermione was suddenly enraged. She grabbed her daughter's hand and pulled her over, freeing her from Bellatrix's grasp. She pulled the dagger out of her stomach, the one she hadn't realized was there, and shoved it in Bellatrix's chest, driving it hilt deep._

_ "I will see you in hell," Hermione said before she pulled the dagger out and shoved it back in, feeling the pain pierce her stomach._

Hermione woke with a scream, tearing itself out of her throat. She pulled up the shirt she wore and found nothing but a scar. With a sigh of relief, Hermione fell back against the pillows. She held her hands over her stomach, urging her daughter to win the fight. She knew that the dream wasn't just a dream. There was no way such a dream could come from the depths of her own mind.

Things were starting to make sense though. The potions weren't working because there had been outside forces preventing them. Bellatrix was determined to win and Hermione's daughter was determined to not let that happen.

Hermione closed her eyes and felt tears burning at them. "What do I do to help you?" she whispered to the silence.

It was then that the door opened and Harry stood there, panting because he had run from the living room to the guest bedroom. "Are you alright?" he asked, crossing the room to Hermione. He sat on the edge of the bed and placed his hand over both of hers. "I heard you scream."

Hermione nodded. "Just a nightmare," she whispered, brushing the tears from her eyes. "I know why the potions didn't work. I know why I can't remember anything."

"Why?" Harry asked, using his other hand to brush the hair away from Hermione's face. "Why can't you remember?"

"Because Bellatrix doesn't want me to," Hermione nearly whispered. "And the potions...she and our daughter have a deal of sorts. If she can defeat Bellatrix without using any outside help, Bellatrix will wait for the next child."

"Next child?" Harry asked.

Hermione nodded. "She says that she made it possible for us to have a baby so she can do it again."

Harry sighed. "Well that's just cheerful news, isn't it?" he asked.

Hermione chuckled. "I've heard better."

Harry smiled at her. "So have I," he said.

Hermione sighed and pushed herself up. "Tell me what happened four years ago," she said softly. "What don't I remember?"

Harry sighed. "After you were captured, I abandoned everything to look for you. I hardly slept, I rarely ate... Every moment of every day was spent to find you. Then, somewhere outside of this virtually abandoned village, I came across Snape and Malfoy. I was ready to fight them and kill them for what happened to Dumbledore, but they both refused to attack me. They told me where you were being kept and that you had been left for dead because Voldemort decided that there was no further use for you. If you stayed missing, I would eventually kill myself searching for you, so he took all of his Death Eaters out of the area.

"I went to the place they'd described to me that instant. I tore that place apart looking for you. I found you chained to a wall with your wand just out of reach. It was Voldemort's last form of torture.

"I got you out of there and Apparated to St. Mungo's. I turned them over to your care and paced the waiting room for six hours before Anita came out to tell me that you would survive but she needed to speak with you before she told me anything. She let me go in to your room and wait with you until you woke up. When you did, she made me wait while she spoke with you. I assume this conversation dealt with you no longer being able to have children. When I came back in, you yelled at me for caring more about you than stopping Voldemort. You told me to leave the hospital because you were going to be fine and I had a duty to perform. The hardest thing I had to do was leave you at the hospital, but in the three days you were there, I found one more Horcrux because I knew it would make you happy.

"When you were able to leave, we went to Godric's Hollow. We saw my parent's graves and we were ambushed by Nagini, Voldemort's snake. She almost killed us but we got away by jumping out of the second-story window. You broke my wand that night."

"I did?" Hermione asked.

Harry nodded. "I fixed it later, but you had snapped it nearly in half."

"I'm so sorry," Hermione said, reaching for Harry's hand.

Harry smiled. "It's in the past," he said. "When we got back to the tent, I saw a silver doe. It was Snape's Patronus but I didn't know that at the time. I followed it and it led me to this lake where I saw Godric Gryffindor's sword in a small pond. When I tried to get it out, I nearly drowned but Ron showed up at the perfect moment and saved me. We got the sword out and he destroyed the locket because I told him that it was his right as the person who retrieved the sword."

"So which Horcrux did you find while I was in St. Mungo's?" Hermione asked.

"Helga Hufflepuff's chalice," Harry replied. "I didn't actually have it in my possession, but I knew where it was and how I wanted to get it. And to gloss that story over, yes, there really _are_ dragons in Gringotts."

Hermione's eyes widened. "You _stole_ from Gringotts?" she gasped.

Harry laughed. "_We_ stole from Gringotts," he said. "You, Ron, and I. And then we broke out of the bank on the back of a blind dragon. You never have gotten used to flying."

Hermione laughed. "It's nice to hear that some things stay the same."

Harry chuckled. "That they do," he said softly. "Anyway, after that, we were all captured. The three of us found ourselves in Malfoy Manor, with the Malfoys mysteriously absent. Voldemort, and Bellatrix especially, were not happy to see that you were alive. They were thrilled to have me in their grasp, however. Dobby died that night. He saved us from a dagger thrown by Bellatrix as we were escaping. I buried him in Bill's garden."

"Harry," Hermione whispered, reaching for Harry's hand to comfort him. Harry squeezed her hand. "It was four years ago, Hermione," he said. "I'm quite alright in regards to Dobby's death. He wouldn't have wanted to go unless it was worth while. He was always trying to save me if you'll recall."

Hermione nodded. "Yes," she said softly. "What happened next?"

"I had to choose between what I wanted to do and what I needed to do," Harry replied. "There were two paths set out for me to follow. One of them was the Deathly Hollows. You never believed they were real but I've held all three in my hands. The other was the Horcruxes. I could either defeat Voldemort, or finish Dumbledore's quest."

"And you chose to defeat Voldemort?" Hermione asked.

Harry sighed. "With difficulty, yes," he said. "We found the last two Horcruxes, destroyed them, and then I died." Hermione gasped. "I went to meet Voldemort in the forest and he killed me. I let him do it because it was how my mother had saved my life when I was one. The magic that she had invoked to save my life had saved everyone else's. I went to this purgatory kind of place and spoke with Dumbledore. Again, I had a choice. I could die then and there or I could come back and finish the fight, but I'd finished what I was destined for. I came back because I still had you. I couldn't leave you behind. The promises that I'd made to you, the plans we had for when the war was over...I couldn't not follow through with them. I had to come back for you. So I did. You killed Bellatrix, I killed Voldemort. The party lasted about a month.

"Then came the day we received our diplomas from Hogwarts. I was planning on asking you to marry me that night because we had talked about it. We were already living together in Grimmauld Place because neither of us wanted to be a burden on the Weasleys, not after what they lost. You hadn't even told me about our son at this point. That night, minutes before I was about to ask you to marry me, you told me that you couldn't be with me any more. You said that there were things that had changed and that, someday if you could get the words out, you would tell me what had happened. I let you walk away because I couldn't make myself force you to do anything. I didn't tell you what I'd been planning. You packed up your things that night and you left. You came back once about a week later to get the rest of it. After that, I'm not all that sure what you did. I'd heard from Ron and Ginny the first two years. They said that you went to America for a while. When you came back you had a degree in Wizard Law. During that time I was on my way to becoming an Auror. Ron started off with me but when we graduated we went into two different departments. He, they decided, was better suited for the every day kind of law enforcement. I went into a specialized division for the defense against dark wizards. Oddly enough, Malfoy was there with me.

"You and I weren't in contact much after you came back to England. We saw each other occasionally in the court room and we always went out to lunch or dinner afterward, but there was almost nothing for another year. Then, oddly, it was Malfoy who got us in contact again. He prodded me to call and had Blaise doing the same for you. You called me the first time on a Wednesday at two in the afternoon. After that, it became a weekly thing. We would see each other once in a while, but not all that often. Then, not too long ago, you called me in the middle of the night to tell me about your nightmare and our son. You came over that night and, after a great deal of convincing, I got to kiss you again. I had forgotten what it felt like to truly breathe while you were gone," he nearly whispered. "And then, with you back, it was like someone had opened the window and let air back into my lungs. This baby, regardless of whether she wins her fight against your adversary or not, is one of the most precious things in the world because she is part of you," Harry said softly. Hermione felt tears fall from her eyes. "That's why I want to marry you, Hermione," Harry said. "That's why I tried three times before I was finally able to ask the question and get the ring on your finger."

"I love you," Hermione whispered before she wrapped her arms around Harry, kissing him deeply. Harry wrapped his arms around her tightly, holding her close and kissing her back as though she was the only air he could breathe.


	21. Chapter 21

In the morning, the phone rang. Hermione watched as Harry answered it. She could hear him speaking to the person on the other end and quickly realized it had been for her. Harry sighed before he told the person on the other end that Hermione wouldn't remember who they were or have any idea what they were talking about. He didn't give out any details about what had happened, saying only that there had been an incident. He promised the person on the other end that she was physically fine, but her memory had taken a hit. He wrote down some information, said goodbye, and then hung up the phone. When he came back to Hermione, he sat down on the sofa with a sigh with the paper.

"That was Glenda Harp," he said. "She's an associate of yours and she's been helping you help me with the case against Ginny," he explained. "She had more information for you in regards to what I need to do and she says that she hopes you recover soon."

"What case against Ginny?" Hermione asked, giving Harry a look that was filled with confusion. "Anita said something about it yesterday but I don't remember what it was."

"Custody," Harry said. "She's pregnant too and it's also mine. She tried to trap me into marrying her by lying to me and getting herself pregnant."

"Right," Hermione said, slowly nodding. "I remember that now. So what is it that you have to do?" she asked.

"Top of the list is contact Ginny and inform her that I want a paternity test to make sure that I am the father and then after that I can go through the process of suing her for full custody of the baby so that she can't abort it or give it to someone else like she's been planning. It's one of the things I had been planning today."

"Had been?" Hermione asked. "You aren't going to do it now?"

"Well, I think there are other things that are a bit more important right now," Harry said. "Like figuring out what we have to do to get your memory back."

"Harry, my memory isn't as important as getting this done," Hermione snapped. "If Ginny is threatening to abort the baby, then you _must_ get going on this. Otherwise it could be too late. Call her or send her a letter or whatever it is that you have to do. I'll be fine. There's no threat to my life that's going to take it in the next two hours. Get this done, Harry."

Harry chuckled. "You know, there are moments where it's almost like we're back in Hogwarts," he said with a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "You sound the same way you did four years ago."

"Since I don't remember what happened in the last four years, to me none of it happened," she explained. "Of course I sound like I did four years ago. Now go get started on what you have to do."

Harry sighed. "Yes, ma'am," he said before he pushed himself back up to his feet. He winced, having moved wrong, and clutched at his side. Hermione, not missing anything, stood up and pulled his hand away. She saw the scar and looked at him in shock. "What happened?" she asked.

Harry sighed and gave Hermione a kiss on her cheek. "It's a long story," he said. "And an old wound."

Hermione placed her hand over the scar and looked up at Harry with worry in her eyes. "Are you alright?" she asked.

Harry nodded. "Fine," he said, giving her a smile. "I just stood up wrong. It happens once in a while and I aggravate it. It doesn't even hurt now."

Hermione sighed and pulled her hand away, letting his shirt fall back into place. "Are you sure?" she asked.

Harry nodded. "Positive," he said.

Hermione wrapped her arms around Harry's waist and hugged him tightly, burying her face in his chest. "None of this makes sense to me," she whispered, closing her eyes. Harry wrapped his arms around her shoulders and kissed the top of her head. "How could I ever leave you?"

"You tried yesterday," Harry reminded her. "Is it really so hard for you to believe that you did it four years ago?"

"Yes," Hermione replied. "I know it was because of James, but..."

"James?" Harry asked, holding Hermione at arm's length. "You named him James?" he asked.

Hermione nodded. "I never told you that?" she asked.

"Hermione, until you came back, I didn't even know he existed," Harry replied. "And his name never came up before. You really named him James?"

Hermione nodded. "I always knew that if we had a son, his name would be James," she said. "The second those sparks were blue, I knew his name."

Harry hugged her tightly, feeling tears in his eyes. That she could love him enough to name her son after his father was something that touched him so deeply he couldn't believe it. He loosened his hold on her and met her eyes before he kissed her. Hermione reached up, wrapping her arms around his neck and tangling her fingers in his hair. Harry pulled away from her with a smile. "We keep this up and I won't be writing any letters for a while," he said.

"Then don't write it until later," Hermione replied, kissing Harry again. Harry started backing up to the stairs before he let her go and led her up to the bedroom. He shut the door behind them before he turned back to Hermione. She sat down on the bed and Harry joined her, gently pushing her back before he kissed her.

Harry's hand slipped under Hermione's shirt and she felt the butterflies flutter through her stomach, tying it up in knots. She distantly remembered the first time they were together like this. She wanted to experience that again, even if, to her, it had been only days ago that they'd last slept together.

Hermione pulled Harry's shirt up over his head and tossed it aside. She saw scars that she didn't remember wounds for, scars she remembered bleeding... She kissed each of those scars, wishing she could heal the wounds of the past.

Harry pulled Hermione's shirt off before she took off her own bra. Harry chuckled before he kissed her. "I can do that now, you know," he said softly, his mouth right next to her ear. Hermione chuckled, having remembered how Harry could never figure out how to get the garment off. As they kissed again, they lay back down. Pants soon followed the shirts and they were both ready. Harry slid inside of Hermione with ease and she gasped. Not feeling the need to hurry, Harry eased himself in and out of her. Hermione matched his pace, raising her hips as he pushed in and meeting him half-way. Harry kissed her deeply, his tongue matching his body. His thumb caressed her nipple, causing Hermione to moan. He stopped kissing her in favor of taking the other nipple into his mouth and sucking on it, all the while moving in and out of her with a pace that had begun to speed up.

He felt himself growing close as the walls of Hermione's vagina began to tighten around him. He rolled onto his back, bringing Hermione up with him so that she was now on top. He held on to her hips as she moved back and forth and up and down. She was quiet this time, the way she had been in the past. She leaned forward, balancing herself with a hand over Harry's fiercely beating heart. Her speed kicked up another notch and suddenly Harry was hitting that perfect spot. With her breasts hanging in front of him, Harry reached up and grasped them, squeezing in a way he knew she loved. Hermione threw her head back, hips undulating, gasping with the feelings racing through her.

Harry went first. He cried out as he exploded inside of her and that rush of heat sent Hermione over the edge. Her body tightened around Harry's almost painfully as that feeling took her over. As it passed, Hermione collapsed, folding herself over Harry, keeping him inside of her.

Harry raised Hermione's chin and kissed her again, thankful that she hadn't walked out the door the night before and that she was still with him, even after everything that had happened. "I love you," Harry whispered in her ear.

Hermione smiled. "I love you too," she replied.

* * *

**AN: I figured it was time for some h/hr lovin', so there ya go. Review! And I'm posting two chapters because this one's a little short.**


	22. Chapter 22

_Hogwarts was in ruins. The rubble covered the grounds, smoke filled the air as fires consumed anything in their paths, and Hermione stared as Hagrid carried Harry's limp body back to the crowd of students, teachers, and Aurors, Voldemort leading the way and Death Eaters walking behind to make sure the half-giant followed. There were tears streaming down from Hagrid's beady black eyes, and Hermione felt as though her world had just ended._

_ She screamed for him, but there was no response. As she fell to her knees, she realized the truth._

_ Harry had been killed..._

_ ...Voldemort had won..._

_ The fight began anew as Neville screamed with rage and swung the sword of Godric Gryffindor to cut off the head of Voldemort's snake. In the confusion, Harry disappeared and Hermione found herself face-to-face with Bellatrix Lestrange. She had almost wanted to let the witch kill her, to end the misery she had felt for months, but something urged her to fight back and win. Or at least take Bellatrix out as she died._

_ Hermione won her personal battle, killing someone for the first time. As Bellatrix glared up at Hermione with hatred in her eyes, she promised a return. She cast one final spell at Hermione as a voice that couldn't have been heard rang out in the Great Hall._

_ "VOLDEMORT!" Harry shouted._

_ Hermione turned to see him standing in the doorway of the hall, covered in blood and dirt, a crack in the lens of his glasses, and his wand clenched in his hand. Everyone turned to face him. The fighting stopped suddenly as they watched the Boy Who Lived walk through them. People moved aside, parting like the Red Sea, and it wasn't long until Harry stood level with Voldemort._

_ "I killed you," Voldemort said._

_ Harry nodded. "You did," he agreed. "But we're not finished yet."_

_ "You cannot be alive!" Voldemort hissed. "I killed you!"_

_ The smirk on Harry's face sent a chill down Hermione's spine and she recognized this man. This was the man controlled by Harry's anger, the man he became when he faced Death Eaters. This was the man Harry became when he was done being used and controlled and manipulated. This was the Harry that Hermione feared. "I have a habit of not staying dead," Harry replied._

_ "Then I'll make sure you stay dead this time," Voldemort promised, readying his wand for their final duel._

_ "No you won't," Harry replied._

_ "AVADA KEDAVRA!" they both shouted. Their spells met in the middle. Voldemort's jet of green light bounced off of Harry's and killed one of his Death Eaters. Harry's pushed through, hitting Voldemort where his heart would have been if he had one. The dark wizard fell, dying instantly, the Elder Wand clattering onto the stone and away from his limp fingers._

_ Harry dropped to his knees and Hermione ran to him, reaching him as the Death Eaters began fighting for their own lives instead of their dead master's cause. She knelt down in front of him, noticing how cold and clammy he was. She warmed him by wrapping her arms around Harry's neck, thankful he was alive. She kissed him, loving him so much it made her heart hurt because she knew she was going to have to leave him. She would give him time. She wouldn't leave him until he could stand on his own once more._

Hermione slowly opened her eyes, still wrapped in the warmth of Harry's arms. Confused by her dreams, she slowly sat. Her movement caused Harry to stir and he stretched before he propped himself up on his elbows, meeting her eyes. "What's wrong?" he asked.

"How did you kill Voldemort?" she asked.

Harry stared at Hermione in confusion. "The Killing Curse," he slowly replied. "In the middle of the Great Hall at Hogwarts. Why?"

"I just dreamed about it," Hermione said softly. She rubbed her eyes as Harry sat up fully. He brushed the hair away from her face and kissed her. "It was like I was living it over again," Hermione said, resting her head against Harry's shoulder. "Like I was really right there dueling and crying and screaming because you were dead. I remember the thoughts I had and everything..."

Harry wrapped his arm around her bare shoulders and yawned. "It was a long time ago," he said. "And it's not surprising that you're dreaming about the past. Given the other kinds of dreams you've been having."

Hermione sighed. "Maybe," she whispered.

Harry turned her face to his and kissed her. "It'll be alright," he promised. "I'm going to write that letter now."

It was as Harry started to get up and out of bed that his cell phone started to ring. Harry sighed as he pulled it from the holder attached to his pants and looked at the number. He answered the phone as he stood to get dressed again. "Potter," he said. "Hi, Charley," he said with a note of anger and bitterness in his voice. Hermione wondered where that anger had come from as she started to get dressed herself. "Keep him away from here," Harry said. "Bill and Ginny too. I don't want any of them coming over. Bill shows up at my door and I'm going to kill him. I'll have Ron arrested because he assaulted me, and Ginny I'm about to sue so I don't want her over here either."

Hermione stared at Harry in confusion. She wondered when Ron had assaulted Harry and what the reason was. Harry noticed her confusion and gave her a curious look before something seemed to don on him and he nodded, holding up his hand. "Look, Charley, thanks for the head's up, but with everything going on right now, they are the last people I want to see. Unless Bill can come up with something that'll fix the problem his potions caused, I don't want him around."

Harry didn't wait for anything more to be said. He hung up his phone and put it back in the holder attached to the pants he now wore. "Ron and I got into a fight yesterday," Harry said, meeting Hermione's eyes. She pulled her shirt on before she raised an eyebrow. "I asked how Ginny was doing and he was offended by it."

"Oh," Hermione said, growing more confused. "Okay," she said slowly. "You write your letter and I'll make food," she said, figuring it was easiest to drop the matter than try to understand. As she passed Harry, he pulled her back with a hand around her waist. He kissed her before he let her go and Hermione gave him a smile. She made her way down to the kitchen and looked around for food. As she finished cooking, Harry walked down with parchment in his hands. "What do you think?" he asked, holding it out to her. "I know you don't remember what you went to school for, but you should still be able to tell me if it's any good or not."

Hermione took the parchment and read the letter over. After a moment she looked up at Harry. "Did Ron hit your head yesterday?" she asked. Harry gave her a confused look. "Harry, this is supposed to be a legal formality. You don't start off with 'Hi, Gin, how are you?' Do you want me to write up something you can say and then you reword it or copy it or something so that it's in your handwriting?" she asked.

Harry smiled. "I would love you forever if you did," he said.

Hermione laughed. "Then you cook, I'll write," she said, handing Harry the spatula she'd been using. Harry took over the cooking and Hermione took the pen she saw sticking out of his pocket. She sat down at the kitchen table and turned the parchment over before she began writing.

_Ms. Ginerva Weasley,_

_I, Harry James Potter, am requesting a paternity test to be completed before the birth or abortion of the child you claim to be pregnant with. If the test proves that I am the father, I will be suing you for custody of the child. If you should deny my request, I will take it to the Ministry of Magic and request an official order for it. I request your answer by _

Hermione looked up at Harry. "What's today?" she asked.

Harry glanced at the calender on the wall next to the fridge. "December eighth," Harry replied. "Two-thousand and one."

"Two thousand and one?" Hermione asked. "Wow..."

"You know it's been four years, Hermione," Harry said.

Hermione sighed. "Yes, but I don't think it hit me that we were in a new century."

Harry chuckled. "Makes sense," he said. "The Muggles freaked. They all thought the world was going to end because their computers were going to reset to nineteen hundred instead of two thousand. It was amusing."

Hermione chuckled and turned back to what she was writing. "I bet they did," she said as she wrote in the date she wanted. She closed the letter and then put the pen down. "Finished," she said.

"Great," Harry said with a smile. "What'd you write?"

Hermione chuckled before she read the letter aloud to Harry. He listened to it and sighed when she finished. "That's definitely more professional than 'Hey, Gin, how are you?'" he said. "So you want me to re-write that and then send it to her?" he asked, glancing at her again. Hermione nodded. "Right," Harry said, removing the food from the stove. "And lunch is ready."

"Great," Hermione said with a smile. "I'm starving."

* * *

**AN: I know, in Deathly Hollows, Harry and Voldie's fight was a LOT different and Hermione wasn't the one who killed Bellatrix. It's already been established in the story that she did, so yeah. And as for the Harry/Voldie fight that really kinda wasn't, I was disappointed with the fight in the book because Harry didn't actually kill him. Spells rebounding off of each other and all that jazz just wasn't good enough for me. And who really wants to type up that speech for a fanfic? Not me! So yeah...final battle's been changed. I figured quick and dirty was best. Review, kay? (*.^)**

**AN #2: Unfortunately I'm probably not going to be able to update this fic for a while. I had another four chapters written on my computer but then the motherboard crashed. I'm going to work on re-writing the chapters that were already done, but I'm not making any promises right now. Lots to do and no time to do it... *sigh* I'm still going to work on it, so keep up those reviews and the reading. I'm also going to be working on new fics and I've been thinking about a companion to this one during the time that Harry and Hermione were together the first time. It's a plot bunny that's been nagging at me for a while. If I post it, I'll do another note update here so that you're all aware of it.**


	23. Chapter 23

Hermione sat on the sofa in the living room with a mug of tea on the table next to her and her journal in her lap. She leafed through the pages, reading the entries she'd faithfully written over the last four years. She read about how she had mourned the loss of the son she'd never gotten to meet, how she'd known his name was James from the moment the sparks were blue, how they won the war and celebrated it, how she'd finally gotten the nerve to leave Harry... Then she'd gone to America to study Wizard Law, came home and began dating Ron, and then her parents had died in a horrific car crash.

That entry broke Hermione's heart. She had been notified by her contact in Australia and she and Ron had flown out there to be at the funeral. On the flight home, she and Ron had broken up.

Hermione had to put the book down. She set it on the coffee table and clutched one of the throw pillows to her as she began to sob. She wanted to have been able to see them again. She wanted to know that she could call them up at any time and talk to them. She'd gotten so used to living without them and knowing that they were safe that, to hear they had died in such a way, Hermione couldn't help but feel more than cheated by the loss. She was so full of questions, but they seemed to pale in comparison to her grief. Why hadn't she brought them back from Australia like she'd planned? What reason could she have had to leave them there for two years after the war was over?

Harry walked into the living room because of the sound of Hermione's tears. He walked up to the couch and saw the journal sitting on the table. He glanced at the open page and saw Hermione's shaky handwriting. Seeing the first sentence, he knew the reason she was crying. He sat down on the couch next to her and pulled her close, comforting her the only way he could.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Hermione cried.

"They haven't come up," Harry said softly in that deep, calm voice that was reserved for Hermione alone. "It's not like it's an easy thing to say."

Hermione's entire body shook with the force of her sobs. She clutched Harry to her the way she had the pillow, and he pulled her onto his lap so that he could hold her more closely. He held her until the tears stopped and she was too exhausted to keep crying. He rocked her back and forth and kissed the side of her head.

Hermione eventually fell asleep, too tired to keep herself awake and Harry carried her up stairs to put her to bed. As he laid her down, she opened her eyes and looked up at him. "Get some sleep," he told her softly.

"Stay with me?" Hermione asked. "Can you?"

Harry nodded and kicked off his shoes before he slipped into bed next to Hermione. He wrapped an arm around her stomach, spooning her from behind. They settled on the covers and Hermione quickly found herself asleep once more. Harry drifted off soon after, wishing he could make the world right as rain once more. He had hoped that she would have regained her memory before she discovered the truth about her parents.

The doorbell ringing woke Hermione up. The ring was the rapid pressing of the button from someone who urgently wanted in the house. Hermione sighed and eased herself out of Harry's arms before she rubbed her eyes and made her way to the door. She opened the door a moment later and saw Ginny standing there, a letter clutched in her hand and her face redder than her hair.

"Sue me?" she screamed, pushing her way into the house. Hermione was forced to either back up or be trampled. "Sue _me?_" Ginny cried again, louder than before. "This is _my_ fucking body and I will do whatever the fuck I want with it!" Her eyes were wide with her anger, pupils small. Hermione, standing in front of Ginny in such a fragile state, wondered if it would ever be safe for her to open the door.

Ginny pulled out her wand and pointed it at Hermione's throat. "You'll fucking tell him to back off or I swear to Merlin I will kill you!" she shouted. "This is _my_ body! It's _my_ baby!"

"Back off, Ginny!" Harry shouted, appearing suddenly at the bottom of the stairs. Hermione hadn't noticed him come down, her attention was focused solely on Ginny.

Ginny, apparently, hadn't noticed Harry's arrival either. She rounded on him, her wand pointed at his heart. "You are _not_ going to sue me for the baby!" she shouted. "You want anything to do with her and you know what you have to do!"

"That's not going to happen," Harry said calmly. "Lower your wand and leave."

Ginny shook her head. "Not until you swear an Unbreakable Vow that you're going to leave me and the baby alone."

Harry shook his head. Ginny started to raise her wand to curse Harry, but Hermione pushed her down. "Don't even think about it!" she shouted, staring down at Ginny with fury in her eyes.

Ginny stared up at Hermione in shock, having not expected such a pacifist to act out in violence.

"Ginny, you need to leave right now," Harry said, looking down at his former lover with an odd mix of something in his eyes. "And don't come back."

Ginny glared up at Harry. "You think that if you try to take her from me that I won't fight you?" she demanded, shaking her head. "You're crazy."

"Ginny the only reason she even exists is because you were trying to trap me into marrying you!" Harry cried. "You didn't even actually want her or you would have talked to me about it before you stopped taking the potions!"

"What the hell do you know?" Ginny yelled, getting back to her feet, her wand lying forgotten on the floor.

"Get. Out. Ginny," Harry said slowly.

Ginny shook her head, red hair flying. "Not a chance," she said.

Harry stepped forward and grabbed Ginny by the arm. He guided her to the open door and she struggled against him, trying to pull her arm out of his strong grasp. When her efforts proved unsuccessful, Ginny pushed against Harry, hitting his ribs.

Harry cried out and instantly dropped to his knees, letting go of Ginny, clutching at the old wound that had never fully healed. As Ginny turned to make herself a permanent fixture in the house, she came face-to-face with the tip of her own wand. Ginny paled, seeing the pure rage on Hermione's face.

"Get out," Hermione said darkly. Feeling suddenly terrified, Ginny slowly, cautiously, started backing toward the door. Hermione matched Ginny's pace, advancing as the redhead fled. When Ginny passed the threshold, Hermione quickened her steps until she reached the door. She tossed Ginny's wand outside, into the lawn, and slammed the door shut, sliding the deadbolt home.

Hermione instantly turned to Harry. He was pale and had broken out in a cold sweat. His body shook from the pain. Hermione knelt in front of her fiancee and saw the pain etched so clearly in his brilliantly green eyes. "What do you need?" she whispered.

Harry shook his head, his breath coming in pants that caught in his throat. "Just the pain to stop," he said.

"Let's get you to the sofa," Hermione said, moving to help Harry stand. She let him decide how much he wanted to rely on her. With standing up, Harry hadn't taken much of the offered help from her, but when he was on his feet and walking he relied on her a little more. It wasn't until it came to sitting down that Harry took the most help from Hermione.

"What can I do?" Hermione asked.

Harry shook his head again. "There's not much anyone can do," he said.

"How did this happen?" Hermione asked.

Harry shook his head. "It's not important," he said.

"Yes it is," Hermione said softly, brushing Harry's damp hair away from his face. There was a part of her that was happy to see the scar on his forehead. It was something that she remembered clearly. Something she was glad to see hadn't changed.

Harry sighed shallowly, as to not hurt himself. "I don't want to talk about it," he said, revealing the real truth. "It's a long story that's not the greatest. You were there, so you'll remember it eventually."

Hermione sighed. "Okay," she said, shaking her head slightly but letting the matter go. She sat down on the coffee table, pushing her journal aside. "How are you feeling?" she asked.

"It's getting better," Harry said. "A few more minutes and it won't hurt anymore."

Hermione nodded and rubbed at her eyes, feeling more exhausted than she should have. "Do you need anything?" she asked.

Harry gave Hermione an almost pained look. "You to stop worrying so much," he said softly, reaching for her hand. Unless he wanted to move, Hermione knew he'd never reach his goal. She reached out and met him half-way. Harry gave her hand a reassuring squeeze, but Hermione didn't feel all that comforted. She certainly wasn't worrying any less either.

Hermione sighed and let Harry's hand go. She stood and Harry watched her carefully. "I'm going to take a shower," she said. "Anything you need before I do?" she asked, one more time.

Harry shook his head. "Enjoy," he said.

Hermione nodded, not really agreeing to anything, and left the living room to make her way upstairs. She walked into the bathroom and turned on the water with a sigh. Looking at herself in the mirror for a moment while the water ran, she wondered if things would ever start making sense. She hardly recognized the woman in the mirror. There were scars she didn't understand; a weight in her gaze that made her uncomfortable, as though her subconscious remembered something she couldn't; and an overall air of things that had changed. Four years was a long time, Hermione realized. While some things had stayed the same, almost everything else had changed.

Hermione turned away from the mirror and stepped into the shower, wishing the water could wash away the unease and tension...the problems that she had begun to face since waking up in Harry's living room and not knowing anything.

**AN: Check it out! An update! This is the second time this was written. As I mentioned in the previous chapter, my desktop recently crashed so I've had to scramble up a new laptop and remember what I wrote. I've pretty much gotten back to where I was, so look forward to more chapters again! R&R ^_^**


	24. Chapter 24

Hermione stared at the ring on her finger. She moved it slightly back and forth in the light streaming in through the window she sat at in the living room, watching it sparkle and fill the alcove with tiny rainbows. The book in her lap sat forgotten, her distraction winning over her concentration. Now, as she stared at the ring on her finger, she thought about the wedding she needed to plan.

The Weasleys, she sadly realized, wouldn't be there. Anita would most likely take the role of Maid of Honor because Hermione didn't know anyone else. Or, if she did, she didn't remember anyone else.

She knew that she wanted to get married before it became obvious that she was pregnant. Either that, or after the baby was born. It saddened her greatly to know that her father wouldn't be there to give her away, but she would keep both of her parents in her heart, whether they remembered her or not.

As she thought about the lack of a father figure in her life, Hermione began to wonder who _would_ give her to Harry. She suddenly found it tragic that there weren't really any other men in her life. Harry and Anita were the only people she had really had any interaction with in the days since she'd lost her memory.

Suddenly, the crowd Hermione had originally imagined became a _lot_ smaller. Unless they had a public wedding, she could only imagine a very small handful of people there.

The doorbell rang then, causing Hermione to look up. She watched Harry walk out of the kitchen with his cell phone up to his ear as he answered the door. She watched as he nodded to the person on the other side and stepped back, opening the door wider. Hermione gasped when she saw both Draco Malfoy and Severus Snape enter the house. The two men patiently waited for Harry to finish with his phone call and Hermione didn't know what to think.

"Thanks, Glenda," Harry said. "You're a lifesaver. I'll talk to you soon."

Harry pulled the phone away from his ear with a sigh before he smiled at Malfoy and Snape. "How are things?" he asked.

"Better for us than they seem to be for you," Malfoy replied. "Was that the lawyer?"

Harry nodded. "Yeah, she's taking the case since Hermione can't do it anymore."

Hermione looked down at the book in her lap. It was one she'd clearly gotten in college, titled: _A Beginner's Guide to Wizard Law._ She suddenly felt a little guilty about the loss of her memory, not that she could have done anything about it. At least, not as far as she knew.

"Understandably so," Malfoy said, causing Hermione to look back up at the blonde man. She saw him looking at her and she suddenly wondered how trustworthy he was. Malfoy chuckled before he started walking over to Hermione. He pulled up the nearby chair and sat down. "I'm not the bad guy anymore, Granger," he said. "You don't have to look at me like that."

Hermione, startled, blinked before saying anything. "Sorry," she said. "Just last week you were a Death Eater."

Malfoy chuckled. "Only in your world," he promised. "So, what's the last thing you remember?"

Hermione hesitated, looking up at Harry. Harry nodded to something Snape had said softly, but his green eyes were locked on her. He gave her a reassuring smile and nod. Hermione sighed and looked back at Malfoy. "Being ambushed and knocked out by Death Eaters," she said.

"Well, that explains the animosity then," Malfoy said, sounding as though he wasn't bothered in the slightest by Hermione's reaction to his presence. "Anyway, Snape and I are here to see what we can do about your little memory problem," he said, pulling up his sleeves. Hermione saw that the Dark Mark hadn't faded in the years since Voldemort's defeat. Malfoy turned his arm over so that she could see the tattoo clearly. "I don't lie about what I was or try to hide it," he said. "I was a Death Eater. I was a stupid child, forced to believe things that weren't true and didn't help me, and I made stupid decisions because of it. I've made my peace with what I was Granger," he said.

Hermione sighed. "Do you really think you can help?" she asked, meeting his eyes.

"I spend quite a bit of my time in the Department of Mysteries, particularly the Brain Room," Malfoy said. "No one is better than Snape when it comes to potions. Between the two of us, if we can't do something to help you out, I don't think anyone can."

"Don't give me false hope," Hermione whispered. She looked back up at Harry. He and Snape were watching her closely. After a moment, Harry walked toward the two of them. He sat on the window seat next to Hermione and held her hand. "Trust me," he said. "Snape's helped me loads of times and Draco and I have been working together for years. I trust both of them with my life. They helped me find you, Hermione," he said softly. "They really aren't the bad guys anymore."

Hermione sighed. "So we can't trust the Weasleys, people we've known since we walked into this world, but we _can_ trust Malfoy and Snape?" she asked. "Harry, what kind of world did I wake up in?" she whispered.

Harry gave her a bittersweet smile before he leaned in and kissed her cheek. "It's amazing how much can change in just a few short years, isn't it?" he asked. Hermione didn't answer, but the look on her face spoke loudly enough for her. "It's difficult to adjust, I know," Harry said softly, squeezing her hand reassuringly. "But you trust me and I trust them. Doesn't that mean that you can trust them as well?" he asked.

"Logically yes," Hermione sighed. "It's just hard to think that such a reversal has taken place. Yesterday's enemies are today's friends?" she asked, shaking her head. "It doesn't make sense."

"You knew this before they came to the door," Harry reminded her.

Hermione slowly nodded. "I know," she said. "I want Anita here," she said. "In case something goes wrong."

"I'll call her," Harry promised. "Let them help, okay?" he asked. "I know there's a lot of risk involved here, but I believe this will work. I've seen this work."

Hermione sighed again. "Okay," she said softly. "I'll trust them."

Harry smiled and leaned in to kiss Hermione again before he stood. "I'll call Anita and I've got to show Snape some things," he said before he walked away. Hermione kept a hold of his hand until he was too far away. She watched him as he and Snape walked away, wishing that he didn't have to leave the room.

"Right, so here's what I'm going to do," Malfoy said, adjusting himself in the chair so that he was more comfortable. "The spell I'm going to cast is similar to Legilimency, but instead of allowing me to see your memories, it will allow me to analyze the state of your memory functions. Depending on the damage, I may even be able to repair it and thus restore your memory."

"What are the risks?" Hermione asked, wanting to at least make an informed decision before she let Draco Malfoy poke around her brain.

Malfoy sighed. "Complete memory loss," he said. "For both of us." Hermione's eyes widened. "I've done this a few times and I've had it done to me before. It'll give us both an unbelievably horrid migraine that'll last three days at least, but I highly doubt anything will go wrong. This spell is a double edged knife. Whatever happens to you, will happen to me as well. Since my memory is fine, I don't have to worry about anything going wrong if things go right, but if they go wrong, they will go very wrong."

Hermione stared at him. "You're willing to lose everything you've ever known to help me?" she asked.

Malfoy nodded. "I am," he said simply. "Granger, you don't remember, but you're actually one of my best friends these days," he said. "And sacrificing everything I've ever known includes the love of my life and our two-year-old son. Those are not things I would risk losing lightly and they certainly aren't things I want to forget, but you are one of my best friends. I don't want to lose you either. Yes, I am willing to lose everything to help you and Harry."

Hermione stared at him in shock, wondering what had happened to the Draco Malfoy she had gone to school with. Surely these were two separate people. One man couldn't change this much in four years...could he?

"Yes, Granger, I'm still the same person you went to Hogwarts with," Draco said. "I'm still that smug bastard you punched in third year, and I'm still the person who made your life miserable. A person really can change. You and Bell helped me do that but only after a lot of trial and error. Bell actually sends her love, by the way," he added. "She wants this to work."

Hermione sighed, feeling as though it was a lot of information to take in. "Okay," she said, shaking her head as if to clear it. "Let's pray this works..."

Draco smirked and Hermione felt comforted that it was a shadow of the smirk she remembered from Hogwarts. "I don't need to pray, Granger. I really am that good."

Hermione laughed as Draco pulled out his wand and pointed it at her head. "_Legilimenti_," Draco said softly.

Hermione could feel Draco moving through her memories. Some were brought to the surface or almost relived as he sifted through them, moving backwards from the most recent. After a few minutes, he seemed to come up against a wall when he reached the moment Hermione had woken up in Harry's arms.

It was the wall that Draco analyzed, not the memory surrounding it but the blockage itself. He poked at it, pushed on it, prodded it, and even tried coaxing it. Hermione felt the pressure building inside of her head and heard a high keening sound. It took her a moment to realize it was her. Knowing that didn't make the sound stop.

Finally, a leak sprung through the wall and the memories started to trickle out. Draco aggravated the spot and the trickle became a stream, like water escaping through a hole in a dam. More leaks sprung until finally the weight of the memories seemed to crush the wall, shattering it. Draco had a brief second to get out of the way before he was washed away in the tide and pulled out of Hermione's mind as she cried out, clutching her head.

Harry came running as the front door opened and Anita came running into the house. They both rushed to Hermione and Draco with Snape not far behind.

Harry instantly went to Hermione, glancing at Draco. "You okay?" He asked Draco as he sat next to Hermione, his arms going around her.

Draco gave a weak thumbs up and closed his eyes. "That...hurt," he panted.

Hermione cried with the weight of the things she had forgotten. The sudden rush of information hurt and Hermione whimpered in Harry's arms.

Anita stepped up and muttered pain-relieving spells and soon Hermione stopped rocking and simply held her head. "Close the curtains," Anita said.

Harry reached behind Hermione and drew the curtains closed. Snape raised his wand and pointed it at the other windows blocking the sunlight from entering them as well.

"Hermione?" Harry asked when it was sufficiently dark. Hermione slowly raised her head and looked around the room. She sighed before she looked at Harry. "Do you remember?" he asked.

Hermione nodded. "Yes," she said softly. She sighed and rest against Harry, her head on his shoulder, and couldn't believe the relief she felt. "Thank God it's over," she said.

Harry couldn't keep the smile off of his face as he hugged his future wife. "Thank someone," he said.

"You could start by thanking me," Draco muttered from his chair.

Hermione weakly chuckled. "Thanks," she muttered.

**AN: And Hermione has her memory back! Yay! . R&R please!**


	25. Chapter 25

The next morning, the phone rang. Hermione sighed as she stood from the table, abandoning her coffee long enough to pick up the call. "Hello?" she asked when she answered. It was the first time in days she'd picked up the phone. By unspoken agreement, she hadn't answered when she suffered from memory loss because they didn't want to risk her offending someone or being too confused to understand the conversation.

"Hello, this is Glenda Harp," the woman said on the other end. Hermione smiled. "I'm Mr. Potter's attorney. Is he available?"

"Glenda, it's Hermione. What can I do for you? Harry went back to work today."

"Oh," Glenda said, sounding pleasantly surprised. "Well, in that case, I have the results of Ginny's test back."

"This quickly?" Hermione asked. She knew Ginny had been taken in for testing less than twenty-four hours ago.

"Yes, I was surprised by it myself," Glenda said. "Until I saw the results, anyway."

"What were the results?" Hermione asked.

Glenda sighed. "Well, in its most simple form, Harry is not the father," she said. Hermione wasn't sure how to take that. On one hand, she was grateful because that meant that the issue was over and done with and that they wouldn't have to worry about it, but on the other, she was almost disappointed because she had been looking forward to helping him raise two daughters instead of just one.

"Why do I have the feeling it's more complicated than just that?" Hermione asked.

"Because it is," Glenda replied. "Ginny isn't pregnant."

"She already aborted it?" Hermione asked, horrified that they had waited too long.

"No," Glenda said before Hermione's panic could set in. It was quickly replaced by confusion. "Ginny was never pregnant. She doesn't have the hormones for it. Unless she aborted the baby more than thirty days ago, it was a lie this entire time. My guess is that she wanted to force Harry to marry her and then she'd suddenly have a miscarriage or something. This girl is good. She fought you guys to protect the lie, not to keep Harry from fighting for custody."

"Merlin's beard," Hermione whispered, sitting on the floor next to the little table that held the corded phone. "She's not..."

"No, she's not," Glenda said softly. "I can push a restraining order through if you'd like."

"No, I don't think that's necessary," Hermione replied. "I'll talk to Harry about it though. I'm sure he'll have some choice words for Ginny..."

"I'm sure he will too," Glenda agreed. "I'm glad you have your memory back, Hermione," she said. "And whenever you're ready, your job is still here."

Hermione smiled. "Thanks," she said. "That means a lot to me, Glenda."

"Sure thing. You take care of that baby now. She's in good hands, I know that much."

Hermione smiled again, but it didn't quite meet her eyes. "Thank you," she said. "Goodbye, Glenda. I'll talk to you soon."

"Take care, Hermione," Glenda replied. Hermione slowly lowered her hand to the floor. She was stunned by the news that Ginny had lied to them so completely, yet she felt as though she should have been expecting it. Of course it was a lie... Of course it was all just a plot.

Hermione sighed and rest her head against the wall behind her. She tried to think back and remember when Ginny had become such a vindictive person, but she couldn't pinpoint the one instance. She remembered the way Ginny had tried to talk bad about her to Harry and Ron, she remembered Ginny boasting about getting the things she'd wanted and how she had manipulated the situations to get it...but she couldn't remember when Ginny had turned her hatred to Harry and Hermione. She wanted to think that it was probably when they'd told everyone about their relationship, but Ginny had hated them before that. She decided that it must have been the day Harry left Ginny.

The phone began to beep at her side and Hermione started. She looked at the phone before she stood back up and set it down on the receiver, wondering how Harry would react to the news.

Hermione went back to her coffee and took a sip before the desire to tell him became too much and she went back to the phone. She picked it up and dialed Harry's cell number. It went straight to voicemail, which concerned her. Harry never turned his phone off. She hung up and called the office. Harry's boss answered the phone.

"This is Hermione Granger, I need to speak with Harry Potter," Hermione said before the woman could say anything.

"Potter's on the field," Harry's boss replied. Hermione realized that she couldn't remember the woman's name. "You're going to have to wait until he gets home or try back later," she said.

Hermione sighed. "Thank you," she replied before she hung up the phone. She sighed and ran her hands through her hair, wondering what he was doing.

With a defeated sigh, Hermione went back to her coffee and sat down at the table.

Restless, Hermione finished her coffee and started going through the house and cleaning everything. She cleared out the last of her boxes and put the things she couldn't find places for in the downstairs guest bedroom. Cleaning up an already-clean house was more of an annoyance to Hermione than something that would take away her anxiety over not being able to reach Harry. She had to keep telling herself that he was fine, that he was just out on the field and that he'd be home in time for dinner.

As the sun began to set, Hermione finally let herself start making that dinner. She'd put it off and put it off because she hoped he would come home while she cooked. The earlier she began cooking, the less likely he would come home then. She put a pot of water on the stove and waved her wand at the potatoes to start peeling themselves while she put together the other things she would need for the meal. As she was cutting the potatoes, the phone rang. Hermione waved her wand at the potatoes one more time and virtually ran to the phone, hoping it was Harry.

"Hello?" she asked as she lifted the receiver to her ear. "Harry?" she asked.

The person on the other end cleared his throat. "Hermione?" he asked. Not Harry.

Hermione sighed, disappointed. "Yes," she said. "Who is this?"

"Rigel Black," the man on the other end replied. Hermione tensed. Rigel was one of the Aurors who worked with Harry. Their desks were right next to each other. She remembered Rigel smiling and happy, but she couldn't hear a smile in his voice now. She gripped the phone tightly, praying Harry was alright.

She tried to swallow passed her heart beating in her throat. "Hello, Rigel," she said, her voice only shaking a little. "Where's Harry?"

Rigel cleared his throat again. "Well...that's kind of what I'm calling about," he said. Hermione could hear some noise in the background. She could hear voices, voices that sounded almost frantic, or at the very least urgent. Her heart pounded even more fiercely than before. "There's...there's been..." Rigel's voice trailed off and he sighed heavily.

"Just tell me he's alive," Hermione said, her voice shaking.

"He's alive," Rigel dutifully replied. "He's unconscious and pretty banged up, but he's very much alive. He's here at St. Mungo's."

"What happened?" Hermione asked, feeling tears fall from her eyes.

"The call came in early," Rigel said. "Almost as soon as Harry sat down, Malfoy stood up and said that Zabini had been sighted." Hermione's death-grip on the phone tightened further. "They took a team out and caught up with Zabini in an alley. Draco went in first, playing the Death Eater card and tried to talk Zabini into going with him. Zabini started to fall for it, but he spooked and they all fought. They took six people, Hermione. Four of them are dead."

Hermione gasped and clenched her eyes shut, feeling the tears fall. "Draco?" she whispered.

"Still alive," Rigel replied. "I'm about to call his girlfriend."

Hermione's hand shook as she brushed away her tears. "I'll be right there," she whispered before she heard Rigel give her Harry's room number and say goodbye. She put the phone down on the receiver and held her face in her hands for a moment before the sob forced its way out. She swore, feeling the need to throw something that was going to break or hit something really hard. She settled for throwing her small crystal cat statue, feeling as though it had finally found a purpose. It shattered against the wall and left a small hole in the plaster. Hermione would fix it later. Right now, she needed to get to Harry.

She waved her wand at the stove when she walked through the kitchen, turning it off and stopping the potatoes. She rushed into the living room and threw Floo Powder into the fireplace. "St. Mungo's!" she cried before being carried off. Apparating would have been faster, but Hermione knew she was in no emotional state to do so.

She tumbled out of the fireplace in St. Mungo's lobby. She rushed to the woman sitting at the counter. "Harry Potter," she said. "What floor?"

The woman stared at Hermione in shock. "I'm not at liberty to give out that—"

Hermione slammed her hand down on the counter top. "I don't give a damn if you're at liberty to give out that information or not!" she shouted. "That is my fiancée and either you are going to tell me where he is or I will search this entire bloody hospital myself! Where. Is. Harry. Potter?"

"Third floor," the woman said, staring at Hermione in terror. "In the trauma ward."

Hermione turned away from the woman and rushed to the elevator. She was intimately familiar with the trauma ward. She'd spent quite a bit of time up there as a patient herself.

When Hermione stepped out onto the third floor, she saw Cassiopeia sitting on a chair in tears with their son, Orion, in her lap. She looked up as Hermione approached and stood. They hugged each other tightly. "Promise me they're going to be okay," Cassie whispered.

"I promise," Hermione whispered, closing her eyes as more tears fell.

"Good, you're here," Rigel said as Hermione and Cassie let each other go. Rigel handed Cassie a cup of water and met Hermione's eyes. "I have to go," he said. "I have to go assist with the identification of the others..." his voice trailed off and Hermione couldn't help but give him a hug. Rigel sighed heavily and let Hermione go, rubbing his eyes. "I'll be back up when I'm done with that," he said. "Cassie has my number, call me if anything changes," he said.

Hermione nodded. "I will," she promised.

Rigel nodded and sighed. He started to walk away from the two women before he looked back at Hermione. He opened his mouth, as if he was going to say something, but closed it again and walked away.

"Excuse me, Mrs. Malfoy?"

Cassie and Hermione turned to the woman who had walked up to them. Cassie cleared her throat. "Marcus," Cassie said. The mediwitch stared at her in confusion. "Draco and I aren't married," Cassie said. "My last name is Marcus, not Malfoy."

"Oh, my apologies… I assumed…."

Cassie nodded. "Everyone does," she said softly. She reached up and brushed a tear from her cheek before she adjusted her son on her hip. "How is he?" she asked.

"He's going to be just fine," the woman said. "You can come back and see him now."

"Thank Merlin," Cassie sighed. "And Harry?" she asked, knowing Hermione wanted the information.

"Mr. Potter is still being treated," the mediwitch replied. Tears instantly sprang from Hermione's eyes. "We aren't certain how much longer it will take…"

"This is his fiancé," Cassie said. "Hermione Granger." The mediwitch's eyes widened. "You let her know the second someone can enter his room," she said.

The mediwitch nodded before she left them. Cassie looked at Hermione. "I'm going to see Draco," she said. Hermione nodded. "I'll be back in a few minutes," she promised. Hermione nodded again, but the tears blurring her vision prevented her from really seeing Cassie walk away. Hermione groped for the chair Cassie had been sitting in and virtually collapsed into it. She felt the sob rise up her throat and couldn't keep it from escaping.

**AN: A shout out to ivorynightfall who called Ginny on the fact that there was never a bun in the oven! How did you know about this months ago? I also want to say that I hope you're still enjoying the story because I'm having a blast writing it! ^_^ Again, Koodos to ivorynighfall. Please R&R!**


	26. Chapter 26

"Miss Granger?" the mediwitch asked. Hermione looked up at the woman and pushed her hair away from her face. "Mr. Potter is in recovery," the woman said. "He's unconscious, but you can see him now."

Hermione nodded and stood. The mediwitch guided her to the right room and opened the door for Hermione, who nodded her thanks and stepped inside. The room was filled with beeps. Hermione could hear the beep signaling Harry's steady heartbeat, the beep as spells checked his vital signs every few minutes, and the beep that ensured he was still breathing. With all those beeps, Hermione feared how injured Harry truly had been.

She slowly walked up to the bed Harry lay on and took his limp hand in her own. She saw bruising and cuts and scrapes all over. His glasses, she realized as her gaze fell on them, had been ruined. As Hermione sat on the edge of the bed, she reached for the glasses, remembering the day she first met him and how these same glasses had been held together by tape.

Hermione set the glasses back down and looked at Harry once more. "What happened?" she whispered to him. "What did Zabini do to you?"

Hermione heard the door open behind her. She looked back over her shoulder and saw Cassie walking in with Draco clearly relying heavily on her to keep walking. Hermione noticed how he looked so much less injured than Harry.

"Not awake?" Draco asked once he was settled into a chair.

Hermione shook her head. "No," she said softly. She sighed and looked at her friend. "What happened out there?" she asked.

Draco sighed. "To be completely honest, I'm not even sure," he confessed. "It was all standard. The call came in, the team went out. We caught up with Blaise and our plan went off without a hitch. I convinced him that I'd lost the other Aurors and that I would take him to safety if he would trust me. We talked for a few minutes with Harry and the others waiting and then Blaise pulled out a wand. I've no clue where he got it, unless he got it from one of the Aurors he attached when he was escaping custody. I tried to talk him down, but then his wand was aimed at my chest and I gave the distress signal. He cursed me and I blacked out when my head hit a wall. When I came to, the alley was destroyed and Blaise was gone…"

"Please tell me that this isn't all about me?" Hermione whispered.

Draco sighed. "Blaise was cleared of the Death Eater charges because there was no physical proof that he was ever actually there and he didn't know enough to cause any real damage. He was literally at the bottom of the ranks. Voldemort wouldn't have cared if he'd lived or died during the war because he was just another body to use. He was arrested most recently for trying to rape you, Hermione, and it was Harry who took him down. I would love to tell you that this isn't about you at all, but we're talking about your ex and the man you're about to marry. It may not _all_ be about you, but it's mostly about you."

Hermione hung her head and turned back to Harry. She brought his hand up to her mouth and kissed it before she sighed and lowered it to the bed again. "Where was the alley?" she asked.

"Like I'm going to tell you that," Draco scoffed. "I know you, Granger, if I tell you, you're going to go looking for him and when Harry's ass wakes up he'll kill me because odds are Blaise will have taken you out just as he has every Auror who's come up against him, which would leave Harry without the woman who is going to be his wife and is carrying his child."

Hermione held her face in the hand that wasn't clutching Harry's and another sob escaped her. If everything was her fault, wouldn't it just be easier for her to leave again? Like she did two years ago when she went to America? Or four years ago when she walked away from Harry? Wouldn't it just be easier if she disappeared, never to be seen or heard from again? That way Harry wouldn't have to chase after Blaise the way he had been and they wouldn't have to worry about her being injured or used as bait. Leaving, once again, seemed to Hermione to be the best option.

But not until Harry opened his eyes again, she decided. Not until she could see him smile at her one more time.

)O(

It was late the next night before Harry finally opened his eyes. Hermione had fallen asleep on the chair next to his bed, her hand holding his even in her sleep. As Harry pulled his hand away and sat up, Hermione opened her eyes and looked at him in the darkness. "Harry?" she asked with a note in her voice that suggested she couldn't believe he was awake.

"Hi," Harry said, feeling rather disoriented. "What happened?" he asked. "Where am I?"

Hermione sighed and moved to sit on the bed next to Harry. She kissed his forehead and took his hand in hers again. "Do you remember anything?" she asked.

"Bits and pieces," Harry said, shaking his head and rubbing his eyes. "Where are my glasses?" he asked.

Hermione immediately reached for his repaired glasses and held them out to Harry. He took the glasses and placed them on his nose, sighing in relief that he could see again. "You're in St. Mungo's," Hermione said. "After Blaise killed virtually everyone in your unit, Draco woke up and called for help."

"Blaise…what?" Harry asked, staring at Hermione in shock.

Hermione sighed. "Things went badly," she said softly. "You and Draco are the only two survivors of your team. Blaise killed everyone else and no one is quite sure what happened."

"Merlin," Harry whispered before he pulled Hermione close to him.

"I'm so thankful you're okay," she whispered, tears falling from her eyes yet again.

Harry tensed in Hermione's arms. He pushed her back and met her eyes in the light coming in from the hall outside his room. "Don't you even think it," he said.

"What are you talking about?" Hermione asked, feeling the tension settle in as well.

"You're planning on leaving me again, aren't you?" Harry accused. "Because he's your ex and you are always so certain that you're doing the right thing by removing yourself from the equation. Do _not_ leave me again!" he cried, gripping her shoulders tightly.

"Harry, you're hurting me," Hermione said, wincing as his fingers dug into her flesh.

"Tell me you weren't thinking about it," Harry said. "Tell me you weren't planning on walking out that door and not coming back."

Hermione's heart started to race. She hadn't realized that he knew her so well. Her hesitation spoke louder than any protest she could have mustered up. Harry swore and let her go. "Why do you hate me so much?" he asked.

"I don't hate you!" Hermione cried, staring at him in shock.

"Then why the fuck do you insist on leaving me every time things get a little harder than normal?" he demanded. "Why is it that whenever something really dangerous happens and one of us might just die, you run for the hills and I don't hear from you for years?"

Hermione gaped at him, unable to form the words he needed to hear. "I don't know," she finally whispered, looking down at her hands clenched in her lap.

Harry reached up and turned her chin toward him, forcing her to meet his eyes. "I still love you as much today as I did six years ago," he said. "In all likelihood, I probably love you _more_ today than I did six years ago for the simple fact that I lost you. I am begging you, Hermione. Please do not do this to me again."

His voice broke and tears fell down his cheeks. Hermione felt a sob rise in her throat. She couldn't do it. She couldn't walk away again, not now. How would she look at their daughter and see so much of him without him right there with her? It simply wasn't an option.

"Please don't leave me," Harry whispered. "You don't want to, you know that. This is nothing compared to Voldemort, Hermione, and we made it through that. Even if you leave, I'm still going to hunt Zabini down because of what he did to you so that's not going to change. I'm still going to love you and call you and annoy the hell out of you and if Zabini puts me back in this bed time and time again, I'm still going to get out of it and hunt him down time and time again. You leaving isn't going to change that, not matter what you may think. So please," he said, his voice breaking again, "don't leave."

Hermione threw her arms around his neck and sobbed onto his shoulder. She shook her head. "I won't," she promised. "I can't."

Harry held her tightly and buried his face in her hair, thanking Merlin, god, whomever, that she had come to her senses much more quickly this time than last. He sighed with his relief before he kissed her. "That was not a nice thing to wake up to," he said.

Hermione chuckled. "I can leave the room if you'd like to try this again," she said.

Harry chuckled and kissed Hermione's cheek. "I happen to like you exactly where you are," he said, squeezing his arms a little tighter around his fiancé.


	27. Chapter 27

It took a lot of convincing, but Harry finally agreed to let Hermione go home for a few hours the next day. Of course, that convincing meant that Cassie went with her. Harry just didn't trust that she wasn't going to try to leave again. Hermione couldn't blame him, not after what he'd woken up to in the middle of the night, but she was a bit annoyed with it. She wouldn't leave and he knew it, just as he had known it the first time she'd left him. This time, he was right but he didn't want to take that chance.

Hermione unlocked the door to the house and she and Cassie stepped inside. "Make yourself at home," Hermione said. "I'm going to go take a shower."

Cassie nodded. "Are you hungry?" she asked. "I can make us some lunch," she offered.

Hermione nodded. "That sounds great," she said with a smile. Cassie nodded and headed for the kitchen while Hermione walked up the stairs for a shower. She walked into their bedroom and thought strongly about catching a short nap. She decided against it, knowing Harry would worry if they were gone more than a few hours.

As Hermione gathered up some clothes, she felt as though someone was standing behind her. Every muscle in her body tensed and she reached for her wand. As she turned, she had the spell half-formed before she saw him. The red jet of light hit Blaise square in the chest and he crumpled down to the floor. Hermione stared in shock for a moment before she heard someone running up the stairs. A moment later, Cassie appeared at the open door. "What happ…end…?" she whispered. "Merlin," she whispered, seeing Blaise on the floor. "What the hell happened?" she asked.

Hermione slowly shook her head. "I'm not even sure," she whispered. "I felt like there was someone behind me and so I went to stun whatever was there. I thought I was just going to end up breaking something, not actually find someone…"

"War instincts still in high gear?" Cassie asked.

Hermione sighed. "More like back in high gear," she said. "Given that, less than a week ago, I was mentally still in the middle of the war…"

Cassie nodded. "Anyway, you call the Auror office and I'll give Draco a call to let him and Harry know what happened, alright?" she asked.

Hermione nodded and went to the phone on Harry's side of the bed. She called the number to the Auror department and let them know that Blaise was Stunned. They promised to send an Auror out immediately. Hermione hung up the phone and bound Blaise's hands and legs together and removed the wand he had in his possession. She wasn't going to take any chances and even put him under a full body bind.

Hermione sat down on the bed and watched Blaise's unconscious form as she waited for the Aurors to show. She wasn't surprised when Rigel knocked on the door. Hermione looked up and saw the Auror look from her to the body and back. "How did you just do what twenty Aurors couldn't?" he asked.

Hermione shrugged. "You tell me?" she asked. "I was prepared to have to repair something broken, not find a body behind me."

"You didn't even know he was in here?"

Hermione shook her head. "I just felt like I wasn't alone and I should have been," she replied. "I guess it was just that I spent so many years in a war and after that issue with my memory, my mind is still in danger mode."

"That makes sense," Rigel said. "Harry has always said that you always knew before it happened what was going to."

"It was the logical outcome," Hermione replied. "He always makes it sound like some sort of sixth sense, but it's not."

Rigel nodded. "Right, well, I'll just get him out of here," he said.

"This is the wand he was carrying," Hermione said, holding out the wand she'd taken from Blaise. "And he's not going to be moving for a long time."

Rigel nodded. "I'm glad to hear that," he said, accepting the wand Hermione was holding out. He put it in his robes before he went back to the door ad called another person up. Together the two of them carried Blaise from the house. Hermione watched them go into the back yard and disappear before she sighed heavily and went to the bathroom. She looked at herself in the mirror and hated that she wanted to kill Blaise, not Stun him. She wanted to strangle the life from him, and all she'd done was make it so he couldn't get away.

Hermione turned on the faucet and let the water run for a moment before she splashed her face. She met her eyes in the mirror. "You did the right thing," she promised herself. She shook her head, rolling her eyes at the way her voice could sound so sure when her mind wasn't. "Bullshit," she spat before she turned off the water and moved to the shower.

)O(

When Hermione walked into Harry's hospital room three hours after she left, he tried to get out of bed. Draco, who had been in the room with Harry since he got off of the phone with Cassie, held Harry down, knowing that the man's healing leg wouldn't let him walk more than two steps before going out on him.

Hermione quickly rushed to Harry and hugged him tightly. "I'm fine," she promised.

"I can't believe he was in the house," Harry muttered, squeezing his arms around her shoulders. "Thank Merlin you're okay."

Hermione nodded. "Me too," she whispered.

"How did you do it?" Draco asked. "He's taken down ten Aurors but you took him out on your own…."

"Hermione sighed and shrugged as she pulled away from Harry. She sat next to him on the bed and he wrapped his arms around her waist as he rest his chin on her shoulder. "I felt like there was someone behind me," she said. "I turned around, expecting it to be nothing, and I Stunned him before either one of us knew what was going on."

"Just like that?" Draco asked. Hermione nodded. "Merlin, if I knew it was that easy, I wouldn't have tried to talk him down, I'd have just attacked him."

"The problem with Blaise is that if you wait for him to attack he already knows exactly what he's going to do and how you're going to react to it so he knows the outcome of the fight before it starts," Harry said. "He's overly logical and completely aware of everything going on around him. That's how he was able to take out four Aurors without a wand and the six of us without us being able to do much more than duck and cover."

"On the other hand, he's also a sociopath," Hermione said. She held Harry's hand in hers, lacing their fingers together. "He's amazing with manipulation and it isn't so much that he knows what you're going to do before you do it, it's that he's going to make you do what he wants you to and he's going to do it in a way that you think it was your idea."

"He's a lot like Voldemort," Draco sighed. "The only thing he's really lacking is the charisma Voldemort had. It honestly shocks me that Blaise wasn't higher up on the chain. Maybe he just wasn't there long enough to be noticed…."

"Whatever the reason, we'll be more prepared to deal with him now," Harry said. "One crisis is over…finally," he sighed. Hermione and the others slowly nodded and Harry rubbed his thumb over Hermione's stomach. She knew what he was thinking. There was one more crisis to avert.

Hermione gave Harry's hand a reassuring squeeze. "So when can you get out of here and come home?" she asked.

"Whenever they decide that you're fit to take care of me," Harry said with a chuckle. "I'll be home for at least three days before they'll release me to go back to work."

"What happened to your leg?" Hermione asked.

"All the bones were completely shattered," Harry replied. "If we were Muggles, they would have amputated it."

"Harry, if we were Muggles, you wouldn't have been in this situation," Hermione said softly. Harry sighed and nodded. "They didn't say that your leg had been shattered…."

"Well, I imagine they were a bit more concerned with my head," Harry replied. "Considering I had a broken nose, jaw, and mandible… Seems like making sure all of my face was reconstructed appropriately was more important than the shattered leg."

"And spells have revealed the truth of what happened in the alley," Draco said. "Who wants to hear the story?"

"Ooh! Me!" Harry said with a raised hand. The others laughed at him.

"Right then," Draco said, shaking his head and trying not to laugh. "After I gave the distress signal, Blaise knocked me clear across the alley. My head decided to get very intimate with a building, but the building was too much to handle, so out I went. The rest of you rushed in and Blaise took out Newt and Charleston with one curse. They both fell, but it was the fact that Newt fell on Charleston's head that killed him—suffocation. Newt didn't die in that moment, poor bastard," Draco said softly, bowing his head in remembrance of the dead. He cleared his throat and looked back up. "Kris and Chekov managed to get in close and wound Blaise. Blaise didn't even use his wand to take them out, he just snapped their necks. Finally, you were the last person standing," Draco said softly. Hermione's hand tightened around Harry's and his arms were squeezing her close. "You almost beat him," Draco said softly. "The two of you dueled for a good fifteen minutes before he became so frustrated that he brought the buildings down on top of us all…. It was the falling stones that crushed your leg," Draco said. "And the boulder that fell on your face is what did that damage. The rest of it was either from your fight with Blaise or it was the other things falling down around you. I had been knocked far enough away that, when I woke up right after Blaise left, I was able to save you by calling for help. Newt died when he was hit on the back of his head with a chunk of building that was bigger than he was. They were both virtually mopped up…."

Harry pulled a hand away from Hermione to rub at his eyes. Cassie wrapped her arms around Draco's shoulders. She had been there when he had been told what had transpired in the alley, but telling the story hadn't been any easier on him than hearing it had been.

Hermione turned her face towards Harry's and kissed his cheek. She reached up and ran her fingers through his messy hair, kissing him once more. She hugged him, a little awkwardly because of the way they were sitting, and Harry held on to her tightly. His shoulders shook and Hermione waited for the dam to burst. She'd always heard from Ron that an Auror's team was almost closer than family because of the things they went through together. The constant uncertainty, knowing that the person behind you may be the only one who can save your life and you might be the only one who can save the life of the person in front of you, the long hours and grueling conditions…the five other men and women an Auror worked with were the five most important people in your life, especially when on the job. They were closer than brothers and sisters. Knowing that, Hermione knew that Harry had just lost three brothers and a sister. These were people that he had been working with for the last two years. Hermione had met each of them in the months she and Harry had been back together.

Hermione held on tightly as the flood of tears came and Harry lost control. Knowing that they had died wasn't as bad as knowing _how_ they had died. Thinking that the deaths had been something unavoidable, or not knowing how cruel they had been, had been easier for Harry than this. He and Draco had been in charge of their unit. They both, Hermione knew, believed that they should have died instead those other four people. The captain goes down with the ship and all that.

Hermione whispered words of reassurance between kisses of comfort as she rocked Harry back and forth, crying herself because of the sound of his pain. She squeezed her eyes shut, tears falling down her cheeks, thankful that Harry had somehow survived, and hating herself because she was glad that he had survived over any of the others.


	28. Chapter 28

Harry was released from St. Mungo's the next day. When he and Hermione made it up the stairs and into their bedroom, Hermione couldn't help but stare at the place where Blaise had fallen. Harry noticed her looking at the patch of floor between the closet and bathroom door. His sigh made her turn to him as he adjusted his leg on the bed. "Is that where it happened?" he asked.

Hermione nodded. "Yes," she said softly.

"You're lucky to be alive," Harry said with a heavy sigh.

Hermione turned and looked at him. "I'm not the only one lucky to be alive right now," she said. "You should have died in that alley, Harry."

Harry sighed. "But I didn't, and you're not. And as soon as that test result comes back, we can go forward with trying to get custody of Ginny's baby so that she doesn't raise it to be a hateful person."

Hermione stared at Harry in confusion. The test results had come back, proving that Ginny had not been pregnant. Had Harry forgotten that in the trauma of the attack?

It took Hermione a moment to remember that Harry didn't know that information yet. She sighed and Harry's face showed his confusion. "Glenda called the day of the attack," she explained. "Ginny's results were back really fast, which is unusual because it usually takes a few days for the paperwork to file like that. Glenda said that Ginny isn't pregnant and never has been, at least not within the last month. Which means that, unless she aborted the baby more than a month ago, she never was."

"This is all another fucking lie?" Harry demanded, standing up and staring at Hermione in horror. Hermione simply nodded and Harry swore, kicking the foot of the bed with the leg that hadn't just been shattered. "I'm going to fucking kill her!" he shouted. "How could she do this to me?" he demanded. "To us! How could she be this fucking manipulative?"

"Ginny knows how to get what she wants," Hermione said calmly. "She knows what buttons to push to make people do what she wants them to. She knew how much you want a family and that's why she went with the baby route. Glenda thinks she probably would have kept up the lie until you and she got married and then she would have faked some sort of miracle miscarriage."

Harry shook his head and looked like he wanted to hit something else. "God, I want a fucking cigarette," he muttered. Hermione sighed, knowing the craving. She felt it more than her fair share of times while Harry was in the hospital. Harry sighed, running his hands through his hair. "I never want to see her again," he said.

"Glenda offered to push a restraining order through on her," Hermione supplied. "There is enough evidence to do it."

Harry shook his head. "No, I don't want to do that," he said. "Restraining orders work both ways and if I see her then I'm going to have something to say, I just don't want to go out of my way to see her. A restraining order will also keep me from going over to the Burrow and if Ron can pull his head out of his ass then he and I might be able to salvage something of our friendship."

"You and Ron haven't really been the closest of friends since Voldemort fell," Hermione said softly.

Harry scoffed. "Of course not," he said. "He's a hero now too."

Hermione sighed and sat down on the bed next to Harry. "It's what he always wanted," she said softly. "To not be in someone's shadow, to have his own day in the spotlight…it makes sense that he let it all go to his head. I just wish that he could have remembered how he got there."

"You mean thank the people who saved his life and taught him how to stay alive?" Harry asked.

"And the fact that none of this would have happened for him without his being your best friend," she added. "Ron did exactly what I knew he was going to do. He went straight to the _Prophet_ and he told them everything they wanted to know. He and I argued over it so many times," she said as she sat down on their bed. "Both while it was going on and when we were dating."

"It's what led to us falling apart finally," Harry added. "He wanted me to share everything with the world and I wanted to retreat into my own private life. Well…that and the fact that he kept his relationship with you over my head. You weren't talking to me but you were talking to him. He couldn't stop himself from holding that over me."

Hermione felt the anger flare inside of her. There were a thousand reasons why she and Ron hadn't lasted, but to hear that, even before they began, Ron held his relationship with her over Harry infuriated her. How could Ron do something like that?

"I'll never understand him," she whispered softly. "The same with Ginny." Harry could only nod in agreement.

)O(

Three days later, a ceremony was held for the fallen Aurors. They were honored with medals given to surviving family members, speeches by people they had likely never met, and their names would forever go on the wall of those whose lives had been lost in the effort to eradicate the presence of dark wizards in all of Britain.

Ron was chosen to host the event. He opened the memorial service with a moving speech telling everyone the reason they were gathered, as if anyone present didn't already know. He introduced each speaker, and called out each name so that their family could receive the little glass star that indicated that the Auror had lost his or her life in service.

Ron introduced Draco before he introduced Harry. In doing so, he made certain to ensure that everyone knew that Draco had been among the ranks of Death Eaters in the final days of Voldemort's reign.

Draco approached the podium as though Ron's words had no significance. He smiled sadly at those gathered around and pushed the hair out of his eyes before he spoke. He looked toward the families of those who had died and named each person before he thanked the families for being a part of the lives of each of those people. He expressed his sorrow and explained to everyone how being a part of a team of Aurors was like being a part of a family. Those who protected you, defended you, and fought by your side were closer than brothers or sisters, and yet they were just that. Brothers in the defense against the Dark Arts…. Very few eyes were left dry by the time Draco finished speaking.

When Harry was introduced, Ron said very little. He introduced Harry as Mr. Harry Potter, but refused to mention the things Harry had done in the war. Hermione instantly recognized what Ron had done, but there was nothing to be done about it. If Ron wanted to be childish and demean one man while refusing to recognize the achievements of another, she would keep her wand in her pocket and be the bigger person.

Harry nervously stood in front of everyone. He looked out over the gathered crowd, which included a great many reporters, and then turned to the families. He sighed heavily and bowed his head a moment, making everyone wonder what was going on.

When he looked back up, his green eyes were shimmering with tears. "I was an only child before I became an orphan," he said softly. "Just like Draco was. I grew up in a Muggle family with a cousin only a month older than me who hated me more than anything else in this world. He took my toys from me, he teased me, and he beat me up when he felt like it. I begged for a way out every night. It finally came when, after weeks of chaos, Hagrid found me on a small island in the middle of a lake. He handed me my Hogwarts letter and even took me to Diagon Alley to get my supplies. It was the first real kindness anyone had ever shown me. Hagrid, in many ways, had become the first brother I'd known. During my first year at Hogwarts, I found a new brother in Ron Weasley. He helped me defeat the darkest wizard in our history and he has been hosting this event with us tonight.

"My point here is that, while my biological family was wiped out while I was still an infant, I have been blessed with more brothers and sisters than I ever thought was possible. First Hagrid and then Ron, later Draco, and then the Aurors we are here to honor tonight. I led us in that day. I was the first to run in there with my wand held at the ready as soon as Draco gave us the signal. I cast the first curse at the man who killed them. It all happened so fast…" Harry whispered, his eyes darkening with the memory. "There are days that I wish I was the one who had died, but then I look at the place where my life is right now and I count myself blessed beyond belief." His eyes met Hermione's in the crowd and he smiled at her. Hermione smiled back at him, feeling tears in her eyes. She mouthed the words 'I love you' to him and he nodded. "I'd give anything to bring them all back," he whispered. "Too many people died that day and the only thing we have to show for it are scars. Yes, the man we were after is back in custody and locked away in Azkaban, but only because he went after his primary target one more time and _she_ brought him to justice.

"I'm no stranger to loss, but that doesn't make it any easier to live with. The pain we feel today never truly goes away. It gets easier to deal with, but it still stings, even twenty years down the road.

"The pain is the reason I am going to start a foundation for the families of every fallen Auror," Harry announced. "We will help struggling families financially and support them emotionally. If they should ever need anything, they would only need to call upon us and we will be there for them. I am asking for volunteers to help with the physical part of the work as well as any donations that you may be able to provide, which can be made at Gringotts. The loss of any Auror is a tragedy and the Families of Fallen Aurors Foundation is going to make life a little bit easier for the families left behind. My only regret is that it wasn't thought of sooner. Thank you," Harry said before he stepped away from the podium.

**AN: I'm very sorry about the **VERY** huge gap between chapters here. Life has been pretty chaotic lately and I haven't really been inspired. I've tried writing this chapter about eight times now and I'm still not very happy with it. I had to force it a bit and I think that shows…. I am working on another chapter as you read this, and I'm trying to find a way to finish this story. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the chapter as much as possible, and look for more updates soon! ^_^**


	29. Chapter 29

**AN: Sorry for the delay. I've kinda been sitting on this one for a while because I wanted to make sure I knew what was going to happen before posting. I think that we may be looking at the sunset of this fic, finally... lol ^_^ When I started writing this, I had no idea that it would become this. I had no idea that it would have such a following and I had no idea that I would come to love it as much as I do. I want to thank everyone who has stuck with me this long. ^_^ Your continued reviews and support are really what make this fic worth writing. So, without further ado, I give you the 29th chapter of I Still Love You.**

**)O(**

It was late when Hermione and Harry finally made their way up to bed. After spending hours with Draco going over the details for the foundation Harry wanted to start, they had the basics taken care of. Hermione was more than happy to help them with the legalities and Draco became the foundation's most generous donator, making Harry's own personal donation look like chump change. Draco stayed for a while after the discussion was over, which led to him going home around two in the morning and Harry and Hermione climbing up the seemingly endless staircase to the bed at the end. When they finally crawled under the covers, both of them were asleep almost instantly.

)O(

_She was back in the cell again. The scraps she wore made her think of slaves and Neanderthals. Back then they had been rough and scraped over every part of her body. She remembered that feeling vividly in her dream, and thought that she shouldn't be able to feel anything since it was a dream. Then she wondered if that rule held true for nightmares._

_All around her there was mold and decay. The smell was acrid and made her nostrils burn. She sat in the corner, knees drawn up to her chest, and looked into a darkness that was so deep nothing could penetrate it. Her skin was dirty, bloody, and bruised. Her entire body ached as if she would never know softness again. Though it had just begun, Hermione already begged for the nightmare to end._

_She could hear someone shuffling in the darkness and knew it could only be one of two manifestations she would meet in this place. The daughter she would hopefully have a chance to meet stepped out of the shadows, looking worse for wear. Her hair hung in black ropes around her face and her skin was sallow. Whereas she had looked healthy in previous dreams, she now looked like she was close to death. The meat had shriveled off of her bones, leaving someone who looked more like a skeleton than a child behind._

_"Mummy?" she whispered in a voice that sounded more like gravel. She slowly continued to move forward, her bony hand extended toward Hermione in a gesture that begged for help. "Mummy, she's so strong," she said. "I can't stop her."_

_"Yes, you can," Hermione whispered, horrified to see her child in such a state. Her heart wept for the girl she was afraid she would never meet. "You can beat her. You've already won just by getting this far. This is a curse, poppet. Not an illness. Beat the curse and you beat her."_

_The little girl shook her head. "It's more than that," she said. Hermione was astounded that the child spoke and sounded more like an adult than a child ever could. "It's not just me."_

_"What do you mean?" Hermione asked._

_That cruel laughter sounded from the shadows. "Did you think that I would just stop if I don't get this one?" Bellatrix asked as she stepped into the light. "Silly little Mudblood. I gave you this little child. I'll give you another one and another until I overpower one of them. And this little one is __so__ close to giving in that I can almost taste it."_

_"Stay away from her!" Hermione cried as Bellatrix reached out to the little girl. "Lily, come here!" Hermione said._

_Giving the girl a name seemed to have an effect that even Bellatrix couldn't have predicted. Suddenly, the girl was healthy again. Her skin was pale, but not sallow, her frame filled out, and there was a spark of life in her eyes again. Lily turned to Bellatrix. "This is __my__ body!" she cried before she held her hands out and a bright light blasted Bellatrix._

_The remains of the sorceress screamed and burst, exploding to dust the way she had in life. The dream changed and Hermione found herself dressed in jeans and a fluffy sweater, sitting in the living room downstairs. Hermione opened her arms and Lily smiled before she came running at Hermione. They both laughed and Hermione couldn't help but feel relief flood her. It was over. She was sure of it._

In the morning, Hermione woke feeling rested and secure for the first time. She rolled onto her side and draped her arm over Harry's chest. "We're going to be just fine," she whispered.

)O(

As Hermione sat in the kitchen drinking orange juice with her breakfast, she looked out in the back yard and imagined their daughter running on the grass and around the tree. She could almost hear the laughter and squeals of excitement. She smiled just thinking about it, and placed a hand over her stomach. So much had happened since Harry had come back into her life. She wouldn't have traded a minute of it for the world. She realized that she should have never left him after the war, but she hadn't known how to deal with the loss he didn't know about.

She heard Harry come down the stairs and the sound shook her from her thoughts. She took another sip of her juice before she turned to the eggs on her plate. Harry walked in, his hair still dripping from his shower, and made his way to the coffee maker. He poured himself a cup and brought it to the table where he found a plate of breakfast waiting for him. He sat down and smiled at Hermione. "Thanks," he said.

Hermione nodded. "Of course," she said. "I had another dream last night," she said.

Harry, who had a fork full of egg halfway to his mouth, put it back down and met her eyes. "Oh?" he asked.

Hermione nodded. "She defeated Bellatrix," she said with a smile. "I gave her a name and it helped her have the strength to do what she needed to."

"And what is her name?" Harry asked.

Hermione chuckled. "Lily," she said.

Harry stared at Hermione in shock. "Really?" he asked, touched that she would want to name their daughter after his mother without even talking about it.

"Did you honestly think that your first daughter would have any other name?" she asked. She shook her head. "Harry, anyone who knows you knows that your first boy and girl will be named after your parents," she said. "Anyone who dares believe otherwise is a bloody fool."

"I always thought that it would depend on the two of us," Harry replied. "I was willing to let Lily be her middle name," he added with a chuckle. Hermione chuckled with him, but the light left Harry's face a moment later. "That seems too easy though," he said. "If giving her a name was really all it took, she would have been just fine from the start because she had a name before she was even conceived. There has to be something more going on here."

"Why can't it be this easy?" Hermione asked. "Because Voldemort wasn't? I refuse to believe that just because he was difficult to put down that Bellatrix will be the same."

"Hermione, we're talking about a woman who was certifiably insane," Harry replied. "Believe me, I'd love it if this was all over and behind us, but I simply can't believe that it was this easy. I'm sorry. I've _never_ seen a dark witch or wizard that easy to put down and I've put a lot of them down. I think we need to go back to the beginning and think about what Bellatrix is trying to do and then move on from there."

"You can't even rest for a moment, can you?" Hermione asked. "No matter what, there has to be something for you to do, something for you to solve. Dammit, Harry, I can't keep doing this! I can't keep fighting day after day. This hasn't been my life in four years. I've gone back to being normal. I have to see the silver lining or I'm going to go insane."

"I'm not saying that it's not possible," Harry replied. "I'm saying simply that I don't believe it's really over. I don't see how it can be over. Bellatrix was insane enough to come up with a way to stay alive beyond death, which is something that Voldemort couldn't even do. I'm not going to let myself believe that something as tiny as giving our daughter a name is enough to prevent Bellatrix from taking over and coming back. And we haven't really discussed what we're going to do in the eventuality that she is the one that actually wins this battle."

"Yes we did," Hermione replied. "We said we'd raise her properly, remember?" she asked. "We'd prove that nature doesn't trump nurture."

Before Harry could respond, Hermione stood up from the table, leaving behind her eggs and juice as she walked out of the kitchen. Harry mentally cursed himself and sighed heavily before he stood to follow her into the living room, where he found Hermione standing with her arms crossed in front of her, staring through the window at the front lawn. Looking at her in profile, Harry realized that the pregnancy was starting to show. Her normally toned stomach was puffed out just a little bit. With the light from the sun muted as it entered through the curtains, Harry thought his fiancé looked stunning.

As he watched, Hermione reached up and brushed a tear away from her cheek. Harry could have kicked himself in the ass for not being more mindful about what he was saying. Years of fighting dark witches and wizards had taught him to err on the side of caution; lest he be taken by surprise the way he had been in that alley.

Harry walked up to Hermione and wrapped his arms around her. Instantly she clung to him and started crying like a child. Harry tightened his hold of her, rocking her slightly from side to side in an effort to comfort her in ways that he had never been. "It's okay," he whispered in her ear. "I'm sorry."

The words seemed to worsen Hermione's tears, not lessen them as Harry had hoped. He kissed her and continued to hold her, hoping that she would soon calm down enough to finish talking. It wasn't that he didn't want her to be right; it was he just couldn't let himself believe it was so easy.


	30. Chapter 30

Months passed. Hermione's stomach grew bigger with the child inside of her and the dreams stopped. Hermione happily planned their small and intimate wedding to be held shortly before the birth of their baby. Only a handful of people attended the wedding. Draco and Cassie along with their son, Anita (of course), and Rigel. It was one of the happiest days of Hermione's life, even if the honeymoon was spent at home with the few days off from work that Harry had taken. Beyond that, it felt as though nothing had really changed, even though nothing was the same.

Anita, having regained her license as a doctor, became Hermione's official physician. She monitored the status of both Hermione and the baby, and always had promising news. The little girl was growing big and strong and perfectly healthy. Hermione felt the excitement grow inside of her every day as she and Harry put together the nursery in the bedroom next to theirs.

They painted the walls a pastel purple, mostly because Harry hated pink. The crib was an antique and made from a sturdy dark wood. The rest of the furniture they found matched the crib as close to perfectly as they could manage. The most important aspect of the nursery, in Hermione's opinion, was the rocking chair that sat next to the window.

They put pictures on the walls of all sorts of fantasy creatures and filled a bookshelf to bursting with all sorts of children's tales. Harry even stenciled Lily's name onto the wall above her crib. There were blankets, stuffed toys, and a hundred more things that every child should have in the room and they finally finished with it all with less than a month to go before the baby was due.

That was when the dreams started again. Hermione had been certain that they were over and that she would never see Bellatrix's visage again, but that night it seemed that the mad woman returned with a vengeance.

_It was the cell, all over again. Hermione looked around in shock as she finally stood, feeling the heavy iron chains around her wrists and ankles once more. "What?" she whispered as she couldn't believe she was back for one more nightmare._

_She heard the rustling of fabric and the clack of hard-soled shoes on the cobblestones. Into the light came Bellatrix, looking haggard and worse for wear. "You…" she began in a raspy voice, "you are dead." She cleared her throat as though there was something stuck in it. "You have no idea how long I've worked for this. You have no idea how maddening it was when you left Potter and I had to wait for you to find your way back to him. The child had to be the two of yours for this to work and you're _ruining_ it!"_

_Hermione stared at Bellatrix as the realization that Harry had been right hit her. Giving Lily her name hadn't been enough. Bellatrix hadn't truly disappeared. She never would._

_Hermione laughed. "My god, you're pathetic," she spat. Bellatrix's eyes widened. "You've been waiting four years for something that may never have happened, just so you could have revenge on people who don't care about you anymore? Even if you were to take Lily's body, which is not likely in your condition, there is no way you would win over her mind. She's _my _daughter, Bellatrix. Whether you gave her to me or not is entirely irrelevant. You've already lost. You lost the moment you gave her to me. I will make certain that you don't get another chance."_

_"I will make sure that you have more children," Bellatrix protested._

_Hermione gave Bellatrix a sad smile. "No you won't," she replied softly. "This was your one and only chance. You've lost. There is nothing left for you. There is nothing left _of_ you."_

_As she spoke, her half of the cell transformed. The shackles fell away and the rags were replaced by a warm fuzzy sweater and warm jeans. The cell wall turned from stone to plaster and the straw that had once formed Hermione's bed turned into an overstuffed sofa. Hermione sat down on the sofa without stopping to wonder if it was there or not._

_Bellatrix remained in darkness. The cell was still around her as though she could not escape it. Hermione watched her with a sense of pity as she cradled her large belly._

_Bellatrix tried to rush at Hermione, but she found herself unable to cross the line from cobbled dungeon floor to plush carpet. She let out a howl of frustration and Hermione sighed sadly. "It's over, Bellatrix," she said softly. "You can't hurt me anymore."_

_Bellatrix's eyes snapped to Hermione. "I can't?" she asked with a sudden moment of clarity. There was a look in her eyes that chilled Hermione to the bone. She slowly stood from the couch and held her stomach protectively._

_"No," Hermione strongly replied._

_Bellatrix smirked. "Don't think it's so easy to get rid of me," she replied. Hermione watched in horror as Bellatrix slowly stepped forward. The moment her boot-clad foot stepped onto Hermione's carpeted mental sanctuary, the illusion was shattered and Hermione was in the cell with Bellatrix once more. Her heart started to pound in her chest as Bellatrix inched closer and closer until they were nose to nose. "That baby is _mine!_" Bellatrix yelled before she plunged her hands into Hermione's stomach once more._

Hermione woke screaming in the dead of the night, arms tightly wrapped around her belly as a contraction threatened to rip her apart. She didn't notice as Harry jumped out of bed and reached for the phone to call Anita. All she could think about was the pain and how this was too soon. The baby wasn't ready yet!

As the pain ebbed, another contraction hit and tore another scream from Hermione's throat. She thought she heard the pop of an Apparition, but she couldn't be sure. The only thing she knew for certain was that the labor needed to be stopped. The baby wasn't ready to be born yet and Bellatrix wasn't going to win.

Another contraction and another scream. Hermione didn't notice as Harry panicked and left the room because he couldn't stand to see his wife in so much pain. She didn't notice as Anita began casting spells and called for reinforcements. There was nothing but the pain. The searing, white-hot pain that told her that this baby couldn't be stopped. Lily was going to be born tonight.

In her delirium, Hermione could see and hear Bellatrix around her, laughing because she knew she'd won. Bellatrix danced around the room and Hermione's eyes followed her as much as she could given that her concentration was broken every time a contraction hit.

The next thing Hermione knew, Harry was kneeling at her side, holding her hand and trying to make her focus on him. "Look at me," he said, drawing her gaze.

Hermione's vision was blurred by tears. "I'm sorry I didn't believe you," she whispered.

"What are you talking about?" Harry asked.

Another contraction prevented Hermione from answering right away. "Bellatrix came back," she whispered.

Harry looked up at Anita. The two of them shared a panicked look before Anita sprang back into action, shouting orders at her nurses and calling for more supplies. Harry turned his gaze back to Hermione. "Tell me," he whispered.

"She won't stop," Hermione whispered, shaking her head. "We'll do this again and again unless we do something to stop it."

"Like what?" Harry asked.

"No more babies," Hermione whispered before another contraction hit. When it passed, Hermione turned to Anita. "Make it so I can't have more," she ordered. Anita gaped at Hermione and shared a shocked look with Harry. "DO IT!" Hermione shouted.

Anita nodded. "Okay," she said softly.

"NO!" Bellatrix screamed from her place near the window. Hermione shook her head to get rid of the delusion before Anita began instructing Harry and one of the nurses. They held Hermione's legs up and braced her so that she could begin pushing the infant out of her body.

Lily was born easily. The contractions did most of the work and her small size meant that Hermione didn't have to push very long before they were parents. Lily's cries were like music to their ears. As Lily was whisked away by the healers, Hermione watched in horror as Bellatrix began to follow them. "NO!" she screamed, reaching for Lily.

Anita reached up and held Hermione's face in her hand. "She is _fine_," she said. "_You_ are not."

Harry looked up at Anita with fear in his eyes. "What?" he asked. "What's wrong with her?"

Anita's sharp eyes turned to Harry. "Don't worry about it," she ordered.

Hermione looked at Harry with wild, fear-stricken eyes. "Keep Bellatrix away from Lily," she hoarsely ordered with her hand gripping Harry's shoulder tightly.

"What?" Harry whispered, fear gripping his heart.

"Keep Bellatrix away from Lily," Hermione repeated.

Harry gaped at his wife. "I don't know how," he whispered.

"Figure it out," Hermione snapped before Anita had Harry leave the room so that she could focus on what she needed to do.

Harry stood in the hallway a moment later wondering how he'd gotten there. He stared at the closed door and wondered how he was supposed to fight an apparition he couldn't see.

Lily's cries made him turn to the nursery. He walked in and saw the baby staring up at something. Her eyes weren't moving and it almost made Harry wonder if she was blind until he realized she was fixated on what everyone else couldn't see.

Harry rushed to the woman and his daughter. He moved her aside and stared down at his daughter's face. "Where is she?" he whispered as he pulled out his wand. He whispered shielding spells over his daughter and prayed that it would help.

It was then that the baby started laughing. It was a sickening sound to Harry's ears and made his heart stop in his chest. The baby met Harry's eyes and he saw that they matched the color of his own. "You think you can stop me?" the baby asked. Harry's wand dropped from his limp fingers. "I gave her time to grow and then I made her come early so that I could take her. There was no way for you to stop me."

"That's where you're wrong, Bellatrix," Harry whispered. He stooped to pick up his wand once more. When Hermione had said that it was over and he had felt that was too easy, he spent the months leading up to this day researching the different ways to stop possession. The best way he knew to stop possession was the only way he had stopped it himself.

Harry picked up the baby. "What are you doing?" Bellatrix asked. He cradled the baby on his shoulder and kissed her cheek as he began rocking back and forth. "What the bloody hell are you doing?" Bellatrix demanded.

"Shh…" Harry whispered, closing his eyes and focusing on the feeling of having his daughter in his arms. "Lily, you're stronger than this," he whispered. "I know because you're my daughter and I'm stronger than this. I'll take this from you if you let me. I'll fight her. I'll fight her and I'll win because I have my mother and father who died for me fighting for my side. I'll win because I have you and your mother fighting for my side. I'll die for you both, Lily. I'll protect you the way my mother protected me. I love you, Lily," Harry whispered. "I loved you the minute I found out you were coming and I _know_ that you can do this. You can beat Bellatrix because you have your mother and me fighting on your side."

"Stop talking," Bellatrix hissed. Harry couldn't help but notice that she sounded more than a little strained. "You can't win."

Harry chuckled. "Lily, I've thought about all the things we're going to do together while you grow up," he said. "You're going to have a life a thousand times better than mine. You're going to have two parents who adore you and are there for you every day of your life. We'll take you on family vacations to wherever in the world we choose and when you go to Hogwarts for the first time, your mother and I are going to be standing on the train's platform until you're out of sight and we'll both be crying because we're so proud of you. We're going to play in the yard every day. We'll go see Quidditch matches and we'll get a puppy that will be your best friend in the whole world. Nothing you can say or do will ever change how much your mother and I love you."

The soft cry from the baby was music to Harry's ears. It meant that he was reaching the baby.

"Stop," Bellatrix rasped.

Harry held the baby a little more tightly and kissed the top of her head. "I love you, Lily," he whispered, realizing that it wasn't that Hermione had given the baby a name that gave Lily the strength to fight back; it was Hermione putting aside her fear for a moment and letting Lily know she was _loved_ that had done it.

The next time the baby fussed, it was louder, stronger. Harry smiled again and let out a relieved laugh. "That's it, Lily," he said. "Break her spell. You're stronger than this." Another cry was followed by a cough. "We love you, Lily," Harry said. He petted her hair. "We love you so much, Lily," he said. He felt that if he kept repeating the words and her name he could somehow break through whatever hold Bellatrix had over the infant. He kept rocking her, kept whispering how much he and Hermione loved her.

Harry didn't stop until Anita was at the door, letting him know that they could be with Hermione once more.


	31. Chapter 31

**So here it is, the conclusion of I Still Love You….:**

**)O(**

Hermione sat on the bed she and Harry shared, the bed she had just given birth on, and stared listlessly out the window at the night that seemed so dark and deep. She didn't hear the door open, so she was startled when Harry and Lily were suddenly right beside her.

She smiled at the two of them. "Did it work?" she asked.

Harry nodded. "Bellatrix is gone," he promised. "Are you okay?"

Hermione slowly nodded. "My…" she whispered. She cleared her throat and Harry noticed the tear slide down her cheek.

Harry reached for her hand, already knowing what his wife wanted to tell him. When Anita had come to tell Harry that he could see Hermione, she had also informed him that Hermione's uterus needed to be removed. Anita had explained that, in addition to the scarring, the stress of the pregnancy and the sudden intense labor had virtually destroyed the organ. Hermione was to be taken to St. Mungo's for the surgery in just a few short minutes.

"I know," Harry said softly, squeezing Hermione's hand tightly. "Anita told me. She said that it's quite serious."

Hermione nodded. "Yes," she whispered. She reached for the baby and smoothed Lily's dark hair. "I'm sorry," she whispered before she met Harry's eyes. "I'm sorry I can't give you the family you wanted."

Harry shook his head. "You _have_ given me the family I've always wanted," he said. "I have you for a wife and now we have a beautiful daughter." He leaned forward and kissed Hermione. "My life is complete," he whispered. "And if our family isn't, we can _always_ adopt other children. Do not ever feel inadequate. Do not ever feel as though you have failed me. You have made _all_ of my dreams come true. All that matters right now is that you are well again."

Hermione nodded and reached for Lily once more. The baby fussed as she was passed from father to mother but quieted quickly when she found herself in Hermione's warm embrace.

)O(

After the procedure, Hermione was wheeled into a room in St. Mungo's where she would spend the next two days while Anita monitored her recovery. Harry sat in the room with their newborn daughter in his arms. He watched Hermione as she dozed from the effects of the potions and eventually put his daughter to rest in a small cradle that had been brought in. He brought his chair to Hermione's bedside and reached for her head. He could tell by the frown on her face that her dreams weren't entirely pleasant.

Harry sighed as he stroked the back of his wife's hand and leaned in to kiss her forehead. He saw the crease in her forehead ease away and the tension seemed to melt away from her body. "It's over," Harry whispered in her ear. This time, he actually believed it.

Hermione's dreams seemed to echo Harry's words, as if she somehow heard him in the midst of the images playing behind her closed eyes.

_She found herself in the cell for the last time. She knew it was the last time because she was looking at it as though she was visiting it again after being away for so long. She was dressed comfortably once more, her sweater almost more like a security blanket than a sweater itself. Her soft jeans and warm boots made her feel entirely relaxed and she knew that nothing could harm her now. The feeling she felt was a feeling she equated with looking at a house you had been in for years and were moving away from. Except that this house was one room filled with a thousand nightmares and horrors that Hermione would rather not remember._

_She looked at the cell from the outside in. The iron bars were open to her and she swung it wide before she willingly stepped inside for the first time. Sitting on the straw with her arms and feet in the cold metal shackles was Bellatrix. Her head was bowed forward and her hair hung in ropes around her face. She was dressed in Hermione's old rags. Hermione felt as if it was justice finally being served._

_Bellatrix looked up as Hermione approached. "Hello, mummy," she sneered. "Come to mock me, have you? You've won and there's nothing I can do about it. Why are you even here?"_

_"Because I needed to know you were gone for good," Hermione softly replied._

_"Whatever it was that your Golden Boy did while they were finishing up with you made the girl beat me well and truly. Now that you don't even have a uterus to have more little ones, I have officially failed to exact my wrath. You've won. What more could you _possibly _want?"_

_"You to stay here, in this cell, and have the worst night of your life replayed over and over so that you might actually have an idea of how it felt to be me all of these years," Hermione softly whispered. She stepped up to Bellatrix so that the broken woman had to strain to look up at her. Hermione pulled out her wand and pointed it at the apparition. "Go to hell," she whispered before a burst of bright red light exploded from the tip of Hermione's wand. A moment later, Bellatrix and the cell were gone. Hermione stood alone in the warm and inviting living room and felt as though she was finally free of the terrors that had plagued her for so long. She smiled as she sighed heavily and sat down on the overstuffed sofa. "I'm free," she whispered to herself._

—**Four Years Later—**

Hermione laughed as she watched Lily, Orion, and the other children take part in a game of tag in the back yard. She and Harry finished setting up the table filled with birthday presents and treats. Lily squealed with laughter as she chased the other kids and tried to catch just one of them. She was just as Hermione had always imagined her: Long curly black hair, pale skin, and Harry's emerald green eyes.

Lily and Orion were joined by their brothers and sisters. The differences were easy to spot. The two platinum blondes belonged to Draco and Cassie. The brunettes were Harry and Hermione's. Since losing the ability to bare children, the couple had adopted three more children to grow up with Lily, giving Harry the big family he had always wanted. There was one redhead in the group, the youngest of the seven children running around, who belonged to Anita and her fiancé, a fellow doctor at St. Mungo's.

They gathered the children around, sang "Happy Birthday", and ate cake before Lily opened her birthday gifts. The party lasted well into the evening when all of the children had finally tired themselves out. Harry and Hermione said goodbye to the friends who were more like family before they carried their children to bed. When they finished cleaning up the party, Harry sighed as he pulled Hermione close to him.

He smiled happily as he kissed her sweetly. "Who would have thought that eight years ago we would be here today?" he asked.

"Technically you did," Hermione replied with a smirk.

Harry chuckled as he nodded. "True," he replied. "Thank Merlin I still love you because if I didn't, we really wouldn't be here today."

Hermione smiled at her husband. "I think we should say 'thank Merlin _I_ still love _you_,' because if I didn't, I wouldn't have agreed to give you just one more kiss for old time's sake."

Harry chuckled as he kissed Hermione. "Speaking of which, the kids _are_ all asleep," he said with a grin. Hermione could see the mischievous gleam in his eyes and knew that whatever thoughts were playing themselves out in his mind were not wholesome or virtuous. It was a knowledge that she found exciting.

As Harry and Hermione snuck upstairs, Lily woke from her light doze with the feeling that she was being watched. She walked up to the window of her bedroom and looked down at the back yard where they had spent the day playing and celebrating her fourth birthday. As always, she could see the woman dressed in dark clothes standing nearby, watching and waiting for something to happen. Lily pressed her palm against the glass of the window and shook her head. The message was clear: _You can't have me._ She couldn't remember who the strange, invisible woman was, but she knew that the only reason it was around was to take her life away from her. She knew that this woman was important, but she also knew that this woman couldn't hurt her as long as she remembered that she was never alone.

The years would seem to fly by in an instant. Lily would continue to see the woman she would later come to learn was Bellatrix Lestrange for the rest of her life. She would be haunted by false promises of greatness and the lure of darkness. When the temptation began to grow too strong, Lily remembered that she had parents who adored her and two brothers and a sister who looked up to her to always make the right decision. She refused to give in, but at night, when she was fast asleep, she could remember a time when she hadn't been strong enough to do that. She could remember a time when she was held in her father's embrace and he was telling her that he loved her and that she was strong enough to beat Bellatrix. She could remember the emptiness that came with letting the ghost's false promises win over her own reasoning. She had no knowledge of when it happened or if it was even real, but she knew, somehow, that it was true. If she gave in, that's what would wait for her. And that was why she never let Bellatrix win. She was stronger than some non-corporeal apparition that could only talk at her. She was strong enough to win and continue winning for as long as she should live.

*** * * The End * * ***

**AN: Final chapter. Wow! This has been an interesting 2-year journey, hasn't it? For the longest time, I haven't really been able to work on this story because I haven't been sure of how to end it and I knew that it needed to happen. These last two chapters were both written in a two-day span because my muse FINALLY showed up! lol**

**I don't think there was really a plan when I started writing this. I wanted to do something with Harry and Hermione and I wanted it to be an awesome story. I wanted there to be tragedy and conflict. I wanted them to come together again after a horrendous event tore them apart. I wanted them to have a happy ending. I didn't think that I was going to have Hermione haunted by a ghost. I didn't think that I was going to have Blaise Zabini turn into this heartless jerk, and I didn't think that I was going to have Harry be the best friend of Draco Malfoy. Those things just kind of…**_**happened.**_** I'm glad they did. I think they gave this story flavor and spice.**

**I'd like to take a moment to thank you all once more. It amazes me every time I post a chapter for this story and I see the hits and views skyrocket. All of your reviews have helped me write this story and I don't think it would have come this far without you. Yes, I mean you. ^_^ And you, too. You've all been pretty awesome.**


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